Wiki Warrior

John gulped. Mrs. Wright had just asked him to stay after class. He might not have suspected it of being anything too nefarious, but he knew the reason and so he was counting down his doom.

After all the other students had left, he filed obediently over to the front podium at which the college professor waited patiently. The woman in question was beyond beautiful, which was part of the problem and the cause of all of this. It wasn’t strictly his fault, you see. The two of them shared the blame, though he had a feeling Mrs. Wright and her Z cups wouldn’t be feeling the same way.

“Mr. Garner, do you know why I asked you to stay after class?” she asked.

“I… uh…”

She interrupted him. “Editing a Wikipedia page you cite for one of your sources is a huge breach of scientific integrity. And I know you edited it because the information you cited was added recently. I checked the history.”

“I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

“I see.” She tapped the desk again before leaning forwards. His eyes couldn’t help but look at the huge honkers not even really hidden by her blouse. “You realize I’m going to have to give you a zero for this paper.”

John hung his head in shame.

“Even though what you posted is true, that doesn’t mean the methods are acceptable.” Wait. What did she say? His addition to the wiki page was complete bunk. It was only because the psych topic they were studying was so niche that he thought he could get away with it without anyone noticing or changing it back. “I admit, I wasn’t aware that female apes have a higher rate of promiscuity when subjected to the Montfort treatment, but I did verify your addition before removing it and the studies check out. That’s the only reason I’m not recommending further disciplinary action.”

Studies? The links he had cited in the wiki page? Those weren’t even really related. He had just grabbed a few complex sounding papers and used them since he hadn’t thought anyone would check. Granted it was his first time editing a wiki page, but he had heard other people say that they did the same to get some extra free sources for their papers.

“Now, I hope you will learn from this and become a better student. Let this zero be a reminder to take your academic career more seriously. That will be all.” She dismissed him and he left the classroom. Had she been for real? No way she thought the edit he had made was true.

When he got back to his room, he pulled up the page and sure enough the edit was still there. If she had thought it was false, then wouldn’t she have gotten it removed somehow, either by herself or notifying an admin of some kind?

Well, in for penny, in for a pound. He was going to fail the class anyways with that zero. He browsed a bit and found a wiki page on some weird, debunked educational paradigm. He changed it to say it was widely popular and universally accepted as the best way to teach. He added that students that teachers should never give out zero’s.

After that was done he walked over to Mrs. Wright’s office and knocked on her door. She opened it and upon seeing that it was him, asked John to sit down.

“Hello, Mr. Garner. What may I ask is the reason you’re interrupting my grading?”

“Oh, I wanted to say sorry. I realize I didn’t apologize earlier. And I also wanted to show you this.” He held up his phone to her with the wiki page.

She took his phone and started scrolling. After reading the page silently for a few minutes she gave him his phone back. “I see. I didn’t realize that my current educational methodology may be a bit outdated. It seems like I owe you an apology as well. That zero? I’ll adjust it to be a 50. That seems more fitting.”

Fuck. His theory was correct. She was just believing anything on the wiki as true. What the hell. Was she just this dumb? No, no possible way. There was something else going on, something… magical? Was he a wiki wizard or something?

“Thanks so much Mrs. Wright!” he gushed. “I appreciate that so much.” She nodded and dismissed him again.

He returned to his dorm room and there he began editing another page. This one was about underwear. He added a line saying that women universally had to have their bras and panties exposed. That it was a law.

The next day in class he waited for all the students to exit.

“Mr. Garner, is something the matter? I can’t help but see you’ve stayed behind again.”

“Oh no problem, professor. I just wanted to get your opinion on this.” He held up his phone and showed her the page. It hadn’t been reverted since he had changed it last night which was kind of a confirmation in and of itself that something was going on. It gave him the courage to show her this.

She looked at his phone and saw the edited lines.

“Oh dear. I didn’t realize.” She immediately shimmied off her pants and lifted her blouse to show off her mouth-watering melons. “Please don’t tell anyone about this.”

He made a zipping motion in front of his mouth. “Mum’s the word.”

“Thank you. I appreciate that. I’ll keep this in mind when I’m reviewing your work.” It wasn’t an outright bribe, but he could read between the lines. “I’ve just realized however that I’m not the only one in violation of the law. Nearly all the girls in my class, and all the teachers, pretty much every female I’ve encountered isn’t following it. Is this from a recently passed bill?”

“Oh yeah, it was just passed yesterday.”

“I see. I’ll have to send out an email letting all the girls know. Do you have a link to that wiki page?” Oh crap. He hadn’t tested if his apparent magic powers actually worked on anyone else. What was he thinking? He quickly edited the page when she wasn’t looking so that it said only women with the last name of Wright had to follow that law when alone in a room with a person with the name of ‘John Garner’ and showed it to her. “Oh, I see. There must have been an addendum.”

“Yeah that.” He sighed in relief. He’d need to test it on one of his classmates first before he got Mrs. Wright fired for public indecency or something to that affect. But if it did work like he thought it did and anyone who saw his magic writing believed it as long as it was hosted on a wiki page, then, well, that opened up a whole world of possibilities.