Touched By Magic, by HighGrove

“Good evening listeners. Today I and Gina are reading Touched By Magic, by HighGrove The main path to be specific.”

“Good touched, not bad touched? Sounds like a restraining order to me, Marcie.”

“Despite the title, this is actually indeed just a story about magic.”

“So...magic, huh? It's usually some item or some bullshit curse by some bullshit asshole god. I don't think we ever just had straight generic magic.”

“Well, if we discount fantasy this is indeed our first story in this particularly category.”

“So what are we working with here? Oh great, the first chapter is a fucking history lesson. I'm already bored. The fuck is a priapism?”

whisper whisper

“EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

"Ok, Marcie, this is really starting to freak me out!”

“What?”

“This is the second wholesome story in a row! What the hell is going on!”

“Oh, come now, most of the stories we feature are on the more vanilla side of things.”

“It ain't right, I tell you. This friendship is magic bullshit is making me sick.”

“I think we are getting ahead of ourselves. This story features Ashley price, spooky boy.”

“Boy...yeah right.”

“Our protagonist has a magic book dropped on his head. Upon closer inspection he accidentally magicked himself into a alternate reality where he is not only rich, but also a witch and a bitch.”

“Fuck me, it's another one of those genderbent stories. At least this time it's not pills.”

“After the initial confusion, Ashley realizes that she actually really likes being a girl.”

“Oh yeah, he gets really into it. Most girls would be horrified if they start squirting milk from their huge udders as if it's a super soaker. This fucker is like. Yay, free titty milk!”

“Yes, I'm not even sure this counts as a genderbent story. It's definitely not the focus. Ash just happens to turn into a girl at the start of the story and never looks back.”

“Look, being a super hot girl myself I can get that. But what the fuck is hot about two giant orbs of fat?”

“This author is definitely what we in the trade call a Boob-Man. Pretty much every character in the story gets their breasts magically enhanced to a comically degree and everyone is obsessed with having the largest rack. Also, apparently your nipples ache when you squirt milk.”

“It's disgusting! I'm wincing just from...ah!”

“What's wrong?”

“You know what's wrong! Shit, fuck. Look Marcie, I...just...are you really ok with this? You know...with talking about that?”

“Sure, I'm not the one with the flat chest.”

“Oh, fuck you!”

“Moving on, thanks to Ash accidentally improving her life she is now friends with two girls and decides to introduce them to the world of magic.”

“Yeah Jenny and the boring one.”

“Wow, rude.”

“Look, Jenny is clearly best girl. I'm not sure what Ash sees in...what's her name?”

“Isabelle.”

“More like Isa-lame. And don't tell me the author disagrees. Jenny gets two chapter titles dedicated to her. Boring girl gets none.”

“Regardless how boring she might be. Ash really likes this whole witch thing and so he forms a coven of witches.”

“Ash is such a nerd. I don't care if he transformed himself into a bomb shell. This is the nerdiest shit ever.”

“Hmm...I actually find it really adorable how much she gets into it. I think I kinda get it, why he had to start out as a boy. It makes the transformation just that bit more poignant.”

“God, Marcie you have such shit taste.”

“Which is not to say that I abide them squandering their talent on such idle things as enhanced breasts. If you receive power you have a moral obligation to use it for the betterment of the world. Which obviously means taking over said world.”

“Heh, I certainly know what I would do with such godlike powers. But these morons are all so wholesome and nice and barely their magic. I'm feeling sick.”

“Well, the trio needs to do at least a bit of abusing. Because in order for their magic to work, they need milk. Magical milk in fact. Where do you get magical milk? From Boobs. Or as they call it, docile cows.”

“So they turn people into cows, starting with Ash's asshole cousin Jesse.”

“Which is considerably less horrifying then it sounds. Becoming a “cow”, means you lose some of your intelligence and periodically lactate, but otherwise can carry on with your life as normal. I personally would choose over that, but at least the people subjected to it either consent willingly or are such awful human beings that they truly deserve it.”

“Speaking off deserving. The three witches stumble a bit trough life and eventually come across an evil witch. Really nasty bitch.”

“We never got her name, so let's just go with Karen. Karen tries to pit the trio against each other, which would have totally worked with someone like you, but Ash is too genre-savy for that.”

“Hey!”

“So? How do you defeat a witch who's magic is way superior and has decades of experience over you?”

“You rush her and beat the shit out of her with bats. Duh...I would have done the same.”

“While this would have been a hilarious solution, it's a bit more refined. They go after Karen's power source. You see, she has a Djinn as a that she bound to herself with a bunch of obedience commands. You know, can never hurt her mistress or work against her. The usual stuff. Unfortunately Karen became way too arrogant and so the trio can exploit a loophole.”

“Sounds familiar.”

“Oh please, Gina. My commands over you are of a far more sophisticated nature. “

“Uhu.”

“Ha! I would like to see these fools try to get trough this! Naturally these aren't all the commands on you, but no matter. I'm feeling generous. Come on, give it your best shot, children! There is even a deliberate loophole in there that not even Gina has found! Ohohohoho!”

“You are getting way too worked up about it.”

“Karen loses all of her power as well as most her intelligence and is turned into a fucktoy. This ends Book 1. There are a considerable amount of chapters left here, but according to our rules we have to stop. We will definitely do a follow up once Book 2 drops tough.”

“Ugh, so I guess you liked this one as well? You really are going soft.”

“If it helps, I don't think it's quite as good as last week's one from wilparu. But it still sets a very high standard. The humor in it was very amusing, particularly Ash's running gag of needing to have the biggest boobs. Reminds me of that banned Pokemon episode. You know the one.”

“Thank god, I don't.”

“The references where unfortunately not exactly my brand of pop culture, so I must admit I didn't get most of them.”

“I should hope so. Who the fuck spends their free time watching crappy horror movies with their mom? The thought alone makes me vomit. Actually, beyond the whole big breasted bimbo thing, the author clearly also has a mommy fetish. Gross.”

“True, the kinks where all very pronounced, but I don't think this is a bad thing. I prefer it when authors write about what arouses them, instead of appeasing the audience. It makes it more authentic.”

“Uhu. Yeah, I will just keep on hating my mother, like a normal person.”

And to segue with that into the masturbation question, I'm afraid that's a negative.”

“Wow. Shocking.”

“I did like the karmic justice, or play as the tag calls it, but I couldn't help but feel the villains got off easy. It would be better if Jessie was aware that he was turned into a girl, but couldn't do anything about it and was to play the part as cheerleader. And then Karen? That one started out promising, but again she seemed to have lost her memory at the end. Imagine the humiliation, if she was at the beck and call of her former .”

“Marcie, you are drooling.”

“*cough* But yes, redemption is very sexy, but if they don't remember their past misdeeds, what's the point?”

“We should sic Unkown7 on their ass. Maybe that way she will finally stop bitching about how “easy” I got it. Seriously.”

“What about you? Did you rub one out?”

“Can you stop being so disgusting for one minute? And no.”

“Really? That is odd.”

“What? That I'm not into big breasted bimbos that circlejerk their boobs? Jesus Christ, Marcie!”

“What about they goats? They where pretty sexy.”

“Yes, the goats where sexy. And having a harem of 12 goats does sound appealing...”

“But?”

“I wanted Jenny. I hate when I not get what I want."

“I suppose she didn't have a sex scene. Curiously enough, while there is quite a lot of sex, the main trio itself rarely gets any.”

“I swear, Ash just likes watching people have sex. Must be all the sex movies his mother starred in.”

“Well, to be fair, she got one sex scene right at the end.

“Yeah! With boring girl! It's not fair!”

“Ok, Ok. I think we can call it here. Good night everyone.”

“Listen up, fuckwad! There better be some sex with Jenny in Book 2 or I break your kneecaps!”