Throw Ron a bone

I eventually relented. How much could I dump on the poor guy. He was my best friend for Pete's sake. I had to think of a way to throw him a bone somehow. "Hey Ron",

Ron looked up, seriously grumpy at me, still dabbing at his hand while his ex writhed about the floor in lesbian bliss. "What?"

"You got some paper, and a pen? and um, an envelope would probably be a good idea too."

"What, you wanna write a fucking letter to tell everyone what a fucking loser I am now?"

"No man, Come on, please just go and get me it". I was aware I had used the magic word so he had to get me them. He got up, still tucking his dick away mournfully and stepped around the naked girls to get to a small wooden filing cabinet. He dropped the requested items on me in silence.

I wrote the note then folded it and put it in the envelope, "Here", I said and handed it back to him.

"What, you want me to post it for you?"

"No you asshole! Listen. Please show that letter to at least one different girl every day. Don't bother with these two, they're too fucked just now anyway to care".

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Just fucking do it Ron. Oh and please don't ever show it to a dude and PLEASE don't read it yourself."

"Fine! Sounds fucking mental, but fine!" he said disgusted.

I included the last instruction just to make sure Ron didn't break his own back trying to comply with the request on the paper if he happened to read the note.