The First Attempt

You do actually know where to find Maisie. She literally got off the bus ten minutes from the riverside, where she always loves to go for walks, often with you accompanying her. You love the fact she is trying to make this as easy for you as possible. It gives you the impression that she wants you to make her yours, she just needs you to do it in the right way and lose some of the off putting behaviours that have scuppered your chances up until now.

But even if Maisie is trying to make this feel simple, it definitely won't be. You are effectively going to be attempting to seduce a stranger who, by anyone's estimations, is way out of your league. Knowing her hobbies and what music she likes is only going to get you so far. Knowing Maisie means you also know the kind of guys she usually goes for, and you don't fit that mold at all. Probably the best you can hope for is that your friend sees enough potential in your first approach to let you keep going with this. She has hinted that you may get several attempts, guided by her feedback, until you become somebody who can truly sweep her off her feet. It's kind of like that movie Groundhog Day, if Andie MacDowell had liked Bill Murray and wanted him to woo her from the start.

Sure enough, you soon spot a stunning young woman sitting on a bench near the river wearing nothing but earbuds. The thought of trying to hit on her feels incredibly daunting. People always say if you want to make someone less imposing you should imagine them naked, but that kind of thing doesn't work at all with Maisie. Seeing her naked makes you almost lose the ability to form sentences properly. You know you are going to crash and burn here. And Maisie is unlikely to let you down gently. She gets hit on all the time by guys, to the point where it is no longer flattering but a constant irritation. You have witnessed first hand how ruthlessly she can dispatch her many would be suitors. At least you know not to use a pick up line. She absolutely hates those and has probably heard just about all of them by now. You are best off just being genuine. You know she loves the real you as a friend, so why shouldn't you be able to win her over that way?

You walk over feeling legitimately terrified. That's crazy - this is your best friend who you have known since you were both two years old. No matter how much you fuck this up the pair of you will be laughing about it together tomorrow. But no amount of context can lessen your nerves. At first Maisie pretends not to even have noticed you as you stand right in front of her. When you refuse to take the hint and move away, she eventually looks up and makes eye contact somewhat grudgingly.

"Hey there.." you begin.

Maisie points at the buds in her ears, rather than removing them. She doesn't want to talk. You feel like you are almost harassing her if you continue. but you know Maisie wouldn't by impressed by you bailing out this quickly. What feedback could she even give you based on your performance so far?

"I said hey there!" you repeat loudly.

Maisie removes one ear bud and looks at you again. So you begin.

"Hey, my name is.."

"Not interested, sorry"

Maisie is soon listening to her music again rather than you. You have to remind yourself she is not being a bitch, she is being efficient. She gets hit on practically non-stop, and she is just trying to enjoy her free time right now. If she indulged every guy who approached her she would never get a moments peace. At this point you really do feel like you should walk away. But you hope that, with her memories restored, Maisie will be pleased that you thought she was worth pushing yourself way out of your comfort zone for.

"Just give me five minutes and I promise I'll leave you alone!" you raise your voice over her music a second time. Again, she removes one ear bud.

"Thirty seconds"

"Great, thanks. Look, I know you get hit on all the time and to you I probably seem like just another random douchebag, but all I'm asking is for you to walk with me by the river for a few minutes and let us get to know each other a little. It's a beautiful sunny day and if nothing else I'm a nice guy. What's the worst that can happen?"

"Sorry, not interested"

Maisie puts her ear buds back in. Damn, that girl can be cold. This time you do walk away, defeated but at least, you feel, not humiliated. The debrief tomorrow should be enlightening. And, if Maisie does agree to do this with you again, you are making her leave her fucking ear buds at home.