Lethal Difficulty

It is the day after your first failed attempt to cold approach and hit on Maisie. She has invited you to her place to give you some, hopefully helpful, feedback. But she doesn't seem to be as interested in this as you are.

Maisie has invested in a PS5 so she can play exclusives that you don't have on your Switch or Xbox. She is currently playing Ghost of Yotei and has decided to test herself on lethal mode. Maisie is annoyingly good at most things she puts any effort into, but she has only been gaming for a matter of days and this seems a little beyond her current abilities.

"So Mais, I guess I didn't do so well trying to pick you up yesterday. Do you have any pointers for next time?"

"For FUCKS sake. This is impossible!" Maisie shouts n frustration, before registering your question "Oh yeah, um. Well at least there will be a next time. I'd rate your efforts a five out of ten. Any less than that and I don't think there would have been much point in continuing with our experiment MOTHERFUCKING CUNT THAT IS SO CHEAP!"

Maisie as a naked gamer girl might be the hottest thing that has ever happened in the history of humanity. But right now you just wish she would put the controller down and give you her full attention. You are relieved at least to hear that you will get another chance, but it sounds like you will need to improve quickly to keep this going.

"So let me know what I did well and did badly. I can take it"

"Lets start positive and go with what you did well, because you certainly weren't a disaster. You were brave. A lot of guys would have bailed way before you did. You didn't try any pick up lines, which I always hate, and you didn't say anything weird or creepy so FOR FUCKS SAKE THIS GAME IS FUCKING EVIL!"

"Maybe you should switch to a lower difficulty?" you suggest.

"Fuck that, I'm hardcore" Maisie tells you dismissively "Anyway, the not so good stuff? Well first of all you came at me from nowhere. One minute I was minding my own business, listening to my music and then you were just kind of looming over me and WHERE DID YOU COME FROM YOU SPEAR WIELDING FUCKER?!"

"But like you said, you had your headphones on, how was I supposed to not take you by surprise?"

"Make eye contact with me first. It isn't rocket science. Eye contact, then approach quickly. Don't waste any time after I see you looking at me. It makes you seem unsure of yourself. And it OH MY GOD I HATE THIS GAME, ARGGGH!" she yells in a special kind of pain that you, as a gamer yourself, can relate to "But also, I kind of love it"

"Cool, but do you have any more feedback?"

"You called yourself a nice guy. Yuck. You might as well have called yourself an incel. It's for me to decide if you are nice or not. Good guy is kind of okay, nice guy definitely isn't. Too many negative connotations"

"Thanks, I won't do that again. Anything else?"

"You came at me from a position of weakness "Oh, I know I'm a mere mortal but please just bless me with thirty seconds of your time to let me plead my case to you, oh Goddess". You are supposed to make yourself seem like the prize, not me. WOHOOO! I'm getting good at this!"

She is right about that. You are pretty sure Maisie is already more competent at this brutally difficult game than you could ever be.

"This is honestly great advice Maisie. Anything else?"

"Um, yeah. Like I said, I appreciate you not resorting to pick up lines, but the whole "I know I seem like other guys but I'm different" schtick is so old. I hear it all the time. You have to show me you are unique, not tell me. Honestly, you are a great guy, just find a way to get that across and YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME, HOW IS THAT FAIR?!!"

This all feels like incredibly useful feedback, and you are optimistic that you are starting to gather enough information to seduce your friend successfully. Maybe not at the very next attempt, but before too long.

"So shall we try that again this afternoon? i can blank your memory of me again for the rest of the day once I leave here?"

"Let's try something different this time. I'm going to the Cave with some of my girlfriends this evening. Come and find me there" she suggests, referring to a local bar where the kind of bands she enjoys often play "And as a challenge, see if you can get a kiss out of me. If you put all the advice I have given you into practice you should be capable of it and OH HELL YES! DIE MOTHERFUCKER! HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?!"

It feels as if it will be you who is playing in lethal difficulty mode this evening. You are supposed to walk into a crowded club and steal a kiss from the most beautiful girl in there, in front of her friends and with a live band drowning out everything you say. But it's not like you can refuse.

"Sure,. I'll see you there later" you tell her, before giving a command to set things in motion and leaving Maisie to her game.