Surprisingly well

To: [email protected]

From: ParallelLovers@#$R%T^Y.org

Congratulations! We've found your ideal partner!

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Now that you've gotten a match, we'll be working up a nearby location for both of you to meet up with. After the meeting is over and you've become wholly satisfied with our services, you are more than welcome to upgrade your free trial anytime by reaching out to us over any of the emails we've sent you.

For now though, let's get your first meeting with your ideal partner started!

Nearby your location, we have set up a reserved table for you at your local Applebee's/Bee and Apple. You can find directions to this restaurant with any online map app.

Simply tell the server your name and your table reservation, which begins at 3:00 PM at Table Number B2, and the server will give you further instructions.

If the server offers you a colored wristband with your table number on it, be sure to wear it and keep it on you at all times to prevent confusion with other Parallel Lovers app users who may or may not be you from alternate realities.

You both have a maximum of five hours to get to know each other for your trial period. Enjoy your first date together, and remember to reach out to us if you have any questions.

You're meant for somebody outside your world,

Perfect Parallels & Co.

---

"I can't believe I'm doing this..." Terry grumbled to himself as he read the email on his phone one last time. Two minutes til three on a Friday, and he was standing alone outside of an Applebee's alone. He had been hoping that this 'Opalline' girl would show up by now so he could confirm that he was wasting his time without having to actually go inside. But with the time ticking ever closer to the time of his reservation and no fake elf girl in sight, it looked like she either already had her table or was going to be late. Either way, at this point he might as well go in and get his table. If nothing else, a free meal was a free meal.

He didn't see anything immediately out of place upon entering the Applebee's, other than it being busier than he expected it to be this early in the afternoon. Making his way to the hostess, he said, "Hello. I was wondering if there was a reservation for me? My name's Terry Donovan. It should be for three."

The hostess checked the reservation list, "Terry Donovan, 3 o'clock... Table B2 or C2?"

"Um, B2," he said, "Shouldn't that info be on there?"

"Yes, but we've got two Terry Donovans scheduled for three o'clock today," she explained, "But don't worry about that. I have your reservation right here."

Before Terry could ask her what she was talking about, the hostess slapped an orange wristband on his wrist, "Here. Make your way right until you find your table. Your date should arrive shortly from the other entrance of the building. I hope you two enjoy each other's company!"

---

"I can't believe I'm doing this..." Opalline muttered to herself as she entered the Bee and Apple. A chain of taverns spread across Nytheria, the Bee and Apple was known for decent food at a reasonable price. It was popular with the commoners as a family eatery, but it wasn't a place that was frequented by nobility, let alone the crown princess. Opalline was worried that she would stick out like a sore thumb here, doubly so if this was just some mean prank and she ended up eating by herself.

She made her way up to the serving wench and said, "Excuse me. I am Opalline Shimmerstar, and I believe I have a reservation for three o'clock at table... B2?"

"Ah yes, Princess Opalline! Right on time!" the server said, a little louder than Opalline would have liked, "Make your way to the left until you see your table. Here's your wristband to make sure you don't end up confused for someone else! Your date should already be here waiting for you, I think. Better not keep him waiting!"

"Thank you," Opalline said, staring transfixed at the bright orange wristband she had been handed.

The server frowned, "Oh, actually before you do... I'm going to have to ask you to leave your sword up here."

"What?" Opalline said, her hand grabbing at the hilt of her blade protectively. Was that the catch? Was this all just a ploy to steal Dawnweaver?

"Don't worry, we're not going to keep it," the server reassured her with a friendly smile, "We just have a 'no weapon' policy in the restaurant, for the safety of our guests. You'll get it back before you leave."

Opalline hesitated for a moment, then slowly unbuckled her scabbard and handed it over. The wench didn't appear to be nefarious in any way, and even if she was Opalline knew a spell that could teleport her sword back into her hand at a moment's notice. For the possibility of meeting her true love, this was a risk she was willing to take.

"Thank you very much," the wench said, storing the scabbard under her podium, "Enjoy your date!"

---

"Terry Donovan?"

Terry looked up from the drink menu, and the person he saw made his mouth gape open in shock. An absolutely magnificent looking woman was standing next to his table, dressed in an opulent yellow dress that sparkled in the light of the restaurant and did nothing to hide her massive bust. Her face looked exactly like the picture that he had been sent in the email, elf ears and all, and it looked even more gorgeous than it had in the image, especially with the way her pink eyes were staring at him with nervous excitement.

"Um, y-yeah, that's me," Terry choked out, "I'm guessing you're supposed to be Opalline Shimmerstar?"

"That is correct," the woman said, daintily sitting down in the seat across from him, "It is an honor to meet you, Terry."

"Yeah, sure it is," Terry said, fighting to maintain an aloof attitude in the face of this beauty, "Cut the crap and tell me what it is you want. It's money, right?"

The elf woman blinked, surprise flitting across her face, "I don't know what you're talking about. I have no need for money. I'm already a princess."

"Uh huh," Terry said, though honestly with the way this girl was holding herself he was starting to believe it, "And I'm assuming you came here on a rainbow pegasus, right?"

"White unicorn, actually," she replied, "Almost took the hovercar, but I figured it'd draw too much attention."

Terr scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Yeah, since a unicorn ridden by an elf is so much more subtle. And really? You have a hovercar? I thought you were supposed to be a fantasy princess."

Opalline frowned, "First of all, I am far from a fantasy. Second of all, who else but a princess would have something as expensive as a hovercar?"

"I mean that hovercars don't exist," Terry snapped, "Neither do unicorns or elves or any of that magic crap. So what's the game here?"

"This is no game. Why would you..." Opalline started to say, before realization dawned on her face, "Oh, I get it now! You come from a non-magical world!"

"Yeah, I do," Terry said.

Opalline beamed, "That's so cool! I have so many questions! Like, how many sapient species exist in your world? How do you deal with carbon emissions without air purifying magic? What kind of anime exists in your world?"

Caught off-guard by the elf girl's excitement, Terry held up a hand, "Hold up. What's going on? Are you for real? Is this...?"

Terry stood up and looked around the restaurant, trying to find some evidence of a film crew or a suspicious looking observer watching him, or something to tell him this was all fake. What he found instead shook him to the core. From across the restaurant, his eyes locked with an identical copy of himself. The doppelganger had the same button-up plaid shirt, same somewhat messy hair, even the same shocked expression on his face upon seeing the original Terry. The only reason Terry didn't immediately think he was looking into a mirror was that this Terry's dining partner wasn't Opalline, instead being a dark elf waif with snow white hair that matched her shimmering diamond studded dress.

Slowly, Terry sat back down, an action mirrored by his alternate self. Turning back to Opalline, he quietly said, "Okay. I believe you now."

"Good," Opalline said cheerily, "I was about to start casting spells to prove to you that magic was real."

Terry said nothing, just staring at the elf princess in mute shock. After a moment, Opalline grabbed a menu from the center of the table, "While I wait for you to put the pieces of your blown mind back together, mind if I order an appetizer? I've never had 'jalapeno poppers' before."

---

"Okay, so you live in a castle, ride unicorns, and fight dragons, but you have computers and hovercars?"

"I don't see what's so strange about it," Opalline said, wiping her mouth with a napkin after her fifth jalapeno, "Just because we have magic doesn't mean technology doesn't advance. In fact, our cars 'hover' using magic, so really it's magic and technology."

"Impressive," he said, "So you probably have, like, smartphones that project holographic screens and stuff."

Opalline laughed, "We're not that advanced, Terry! Sure my world is a bit ahead of the curve technologically compared to yours, but that doesn't mean we have stuff as advanced as smartphones. Making a communication device that small is pure science fiction!"

Wordlessly, Terry took out his iPhone and set it down on the counter. Opalline's eyes bulged out of their sockets.

"Gods above," she whispered, picking it up and examining it, "You're able to make a phone this small? Without magic? And it can do everything a computer does?"

"Well, not everything, but a lot of stuff," Terry said, "Wait, how big is your cell phone?"

"I have a wrist communicator, actually," Opalline said, "I left it at home because it would be too bulky to go with this dress. The whole thing's like 4 centimeters thick not counting the strap, and the screen's about... this big, maybe?"

She made a square with her fingers that was noticeably bigger than the coasters their glasses were resting on.

Terry shook his head, "I'm actually afraid to ask what your computers are like..."

---

"So there's no such thing as elves in your world?" Opalline asked, "Or orcs, or dwarves, or..."

"Nope, just humans," Terry replied, "All of that is what we call 'fantasy'. It's gotten more popular in recent years, but it's still seen as more of a nerd thing."

"Which I assume you are into, given you asked for me as a date," Opalline said.

"To be fair, I was sort of trying to call the bluff of whoever was setting this up," Terry admitted, "I figured if I gave them something ridiculous, there'd be no way they could deliver on it."

"Well I guess you didn't go far enough then," Opalline said with a smirk, before looking down at her bust, "Though that does explain the breast size."

"You're right, I should have gone bigger," Terry joked, "Maybe you'd look better with a K-Cup."

"Oh gods, I have enough trouble with the udders I already have," Opalline said with a frown, "I couldn't even imagine what people would say about me if I had breasts that big."

"You probably wouldn't need this dating service to find a guy, I could tell you that much," Terry said.

Opalline blinked, "You... you really think so?"

"Are you kidding? Most guys I know would kill to go out with a girl with boobs your size!" Terry realized what he just said and blushed, "Um, I mean... sorry, that was rude, wasn't it."

"No, it's fine, really," Opalline said with a soft smile, "It's probably the nicest thing a guy has ever said to me on a date."

"Seriously?" Terry said, "Man, what is wrong with the guys in your world?"

---

"Okay, so 'non-magical fiction' is what you guys have instead of fantasy, I get that. But do you guys still have fantasy shows? Like, as reality TV or something?"

"Sorry, but I don't understand the question," Opalline said as she cut her steak.

"Okay, like, do you guys have Game of Thrones?"

She shook her head, "No. Is that good?"

"It used to be," Terry said, before trying again, "Lord of the Rings?"

"Never heard of it."

"Okay, so how about your anime? Sword Art Online?"

"You mean 'Stock Art Online'?" she asked, "We have that."

"Not what I meant, but whatever. Berserk? Shield Hero?"

She shook her head at both.

"Damn. Well how about Naruto?"

"I'm not sure if that fits your definition of 'fantasy', but that's the first anime you've said that I recognize," Opalline said, "Alright, my turn. Do you guys have the Office?"

"Yes, actually," Terry said, "But that's live action. Is it an anime in your world?"

"Yeah, though I prefer the original manga," she said, "They really changed a lot for the anime, and while a lot of people think those changes are for the better, I personally think they turned it into, pardon my Sylvan, normie shit. And once they wrote Michael out of the show, it went even further downhill."

"Wait, they still had Michael leave the show?" Terry asked, "If your version's animated, why didn't they just recast the voice actor?"

"The original guy they fired was a sorcerer, and he cursed the role so that if anyone else tried to reprise it, they would only ever be able to speak Klingon."

"So you guys don't have Lord of the Rings, but you have Star Trek? Is Spock an elf in your version?"

Opalline rolled her eyes, "Really? Just because he has pointy ears you assume he's supposed to be an elf in our world? Sure he's usually played by one, but what species of elf do you know of that has red skin?"

---

"Alright you cuties, your trial period is over!" The waitress called out in a cheerful manner, handing them their receipt.

"Wait, seriously?" Terry said, checking his phone, "It's only been... oh wow, it has been five hours."

"Yup!" The waitress chirped, "If you want to meet up again, you both are going to need to go home and email us again so we can set up a payment plan?"

"Can I not just pay you right now?" Opalline said. With a wave of her hand, a diamond the size of a fist materialized in her hand.

"Holy shit!" Terry exclaimed, "You can create diamonds?"

"No, I just pulled it out of the pocket dimension connected to my Bag of Holding," she explains, "If you could create diamonds with magic, they wouldn't be valuable."

"Valuable or not, I can't take bribes," the waitress said apologetically, before reassuring, "But since we're an interdimensional service who already knows about you both and your current economic conditions, we promise you that whatever that's entailed in the contract, it'll be at a reasonable price that both of you will find easily agreeable. We promise we're not cheating or extorting you out of your life savings, we just want to help people find and meet their perfect ideal partner! Oh, and the food comes free with the trial service, so no need to worry about that."

With a defeated sigh, Terry and Opalline stood up.

"What a shame," Opalline said, "We spent so much time comparing world, I only feel like I was just getting to know you."

"Same," Terry said with a frown, "But hey, we can meet up again, right? Assuming we can both pay, that is..."

"Do not worry about me," Opalline said, "I will be able to pay easily. As for you... take this."

Opalline handed him the diamond she had been holding.

"Whoa, for real?" Terry said, "This is... a lot of money in my world. Are you sure-"

"Yes," she said before he could finish, "I really want to see you again, and if that will help then I'm more than happy to provide it. Besides, I've got plenty more where that one came from. I'll be fine."

"Um, thank you," he said, "Though now I'm worried I'll get mugged on my way out..."

"That is a problem, isn't it?" Opalline said. She furrowed her brow in thought for a moment, then snapped her fingers, "I got it! Give me one moment."

Opalline gestured with her hands and spoke an incantation, and the diamond transformed into an Applebee's carry-out box. "There. That transfiguration spell should last for an hour. Is that enough time for you to get home?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah it is," Terry said in shock.

"Great!" Opalline said. She then kissed him on the cheek, "Thank you for such a wonderful date! I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Definitely."

And with that, the two of them went to their respective exits, completely awestruck by their experience. Both of them were eager to check their emails and arrange another date. And secretly, both hoped that their next date would end with far more than just a kiss on the cheek.