She Seems Very Nervous And Timid

Rosalind took notice of Earnest, who was turned around in his seat to see her. Earnest looked into her eyes, which she matched for less than a second before breaking away and avoiding eye contact. She looked nervous, almost panicked as she searched for what to say. Her face was starting to flush, and her eyes darted to everything in the room except for Earnest’s expectant gaze. After a pretty long pause and a few false starts, she finally addressed Earnest.

“Thanks. I heard that you helped when… I, uh, passed out last night. Thanks, yeah.”

“Oh that. You’re welcome, of course.”

Earnest was surprised to see this side of Rosalind. Even though he had known her for almost all her life, he had never seen her so embarrassed before. She certainly did things in the past that she should have been embarrassed of, but she would always just make light of it or own up to it with confidence. Earnest had never seen Rosalind acting like this, but then again he had never seen Rosalind pass out drunk before, so maybe she was particularly embarrassed about having to be carried to bed.

Earnest looked at Rosalind standing there timidly, seemingly unsure what to do while the baker was preparing a fresh sausage roll for her. Despite her stature, she looked so weak and in her discomfort. Something suddenly triggered within Earnest as he was overcome by the urge to comfort her. He stood up from his seat and closed the distance between them, pulling her into a comforting hug.

On rough days, when he was a young boy, his mother would always comfort him with as many hugs as he needed. Rosalind was also very physical, so she would always greet him with a hug whenever they met too, even as they grew older. Now it was his turn to pay it back, as Earnest embraced her tightly, hoping to ease her.

The act seemed to have caught her by surprise, as she stiffened up. Her body was as tense and rigid as a goat playing dead. He had hoped that she would relax, both in body and mind, but she remained petrified. After seeing that his gesture had the opposite effect of what he had intended, Earnest let go and took a step back. Her body still looked paralized as she looked back at him, as if in shock.

“Uh, sorry about that. I just thought that you needed a hug, haha. Are you okay?”

Rosalind blinked, then lowered her head down to avoid direct eye contact. Her eyes started looking around the floor as Earnest could tell that his question had put her back into panic mode, as she tried to formulate an answer. After another long pause, she responded.

“It’s okay… I’m okay too. Just a little surprised…”

Her voice trailed off, as Earnest worried for his clearly damaged friend. He had not spoken to Rosalind since they had split into their respective squads. When they were regularly exchanging letters, she wrote very much like how she spoke. He could tell how infuriated she was while she was in the 26th squad, dealing with commander Bhuta. He could tell how relieved she was to get out of it, even if it meant the boredom of the countryside. Her writing in the letters from her early months in Knottori also seemed to radiate her usual energy and optimism, at least before the letters abruptly stopped. Perhaps this change in demeanor was connected with the reason that she stopped sending letters.

“Sorry about that Rosalind. Are you sure you are okay? You seem a little down and you stopped sending letters. I came over to check up on you.”

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just, uh, getting used to life around here… Uh, sorry about the letters. Sorry. I forgot, because things… because I uh… ‘cuz I’m busy with learning some new things…”

Earnest gave her plenty of time to talk, never cutting her off or interrupting during her many pauses. After it seemed like she was done with what she was saying, he started again.

“What are you busy with? What are you learning? Is it dangerous?”

“No! No. Nothing dangerous… I’ve been, uh, studying… studying magic… and stuff.”

Earnest was surprised, as Rosalind had never shown any interest in studying anything before. Of course she was impressed by magic and its mystical powers, but she couldn’t imagine herself committing to learning the complex information required in casting spells. To be honest, she wasn’t very clever nor studious. For her, using her body rather than her mind to defeat opponents was most suitable. However, she was very persistent and obsessive. She would push everything else away when she found something she wanted to put her whole focus on. Earnest could believe that she forgot to send letters if she had begun pursuing arcane knowledge, however this did not explain her change in personality. The Rosalind that he knew would shout to the world that she was learning magic, showing off every little spell that she learned as soon as she could. She wouldn’t be embarrassed about it, nor drinking herself under the table over it.

“You’ve been studying magic? Why?”

“To join the Royal Arcane Corps…”

The Royal Arcane Corps was the military division of the kingdom that was composed of magic users. Not many people had the magic capacity to cast spells, and fewer had the resources to study the mechanics of spells in order to cast them. The kingdom highly valued these magic users, as their abilities could be incredibly powerful weapons of war. In addition to war mages, there were also backline roles for arcane engineers, who developed magic tools for a huge variety of uses. All of these individuals were valued highly by the kingdom, receiving high pay, high respect, and access to all the kingdom’s knowledge stored in the central library.

“Why do you want to join them?”

“For the, uh, to be a hero. The knights didn’t work, but… I can still do this and be a hero, right?”

So that explained it. Rosalind had evidently lost faith in the knights after her experience with them. However, her dream was not to become a knight, but to become a hero. There were many heroes of legend that were not knights, but instead clever strategists, brave adventurers, or powerful magic users. Rosalind must have realized after the first few months that there was no way to realize her dreams by being a knight anymore, and must have dedicated all her time and focus towards forging an alternative path.

Of course, knowing Rosalind, Earnest could imagine how difficult studying all the required information would be for her. She was probably desperately trying to understand the complex systems and mechanics of spell construction and not seeing any progress. That would certainly explain why she was so down, it could have certainly affected her self confidence if so many things had gone wrong for her recently. She was already down because of what happened in the knights. The frustration of lacking the talent to study magic would have been awful for her. Perhaps the reason for her new drinking habit was a method of numbing her frustrations and sorrows. Earnest had seen many knights develop the same habit.

“Okay… you’ve probably been studying hard, but do you even have the magic capacity to cast anything at all?”

Rosalind looked particularly upset by this question, but regained what little composure she had and answered.

“Yes, I do. I really do. I’ll show you… later…”

With that said, the Baker came over and handed Rosalind her lunch. Rosalind checked her pockets for payment, but found them empty as she had forgotten to bring some. The baker watched her turn her pockets inside out and seemed to understand the situation.

“Oh, Rosalind, don’t worry about that! You’re a regular here, so you can pay for it next time. Or maybe I can start a tab just like the inn? Or maybe I can have people pay a tab beforehand, and then they can eat until it’s spent, and then they can pay the next tab?”

After hearing another one of the baker’s strange ideas, Rosalind just nodded her head a little.

“Thanks, I’ll pay next time.”

She quickly left out the door. Earnest watched her go, and decided against following her. He sat back down, noticing that he had stopped midmeal due to Rosalind’s arrival. He seemed to have gotten the answers as to whether Rosalind was okay and why she stopped sending letters. He imagined what commander Roland would say right now.

“You see this shit? You worrywart, love stricken dumbass! She’s fine! Now get your sorry ass back to the capital!”

However something bothered Earnest and prevented him from accepting Rosalind’s answers as the whole truth. His sense of anxiety and suspense hardly died down during their conversation, with more questions arising with every answer that Rosalind gave. It seemed like talking with her directly would only get him so far, so he resolved to continue his investigation of Knottori village after his meal.