Renewing Old Acquaintances

"Wow, judging from the big dopey grin on your face and the fact you didn't come home last night, I'd say my little brother got lucky on his date!"

It was obvious how pleased Lorraine was for Jake. Sometimes it felt like she was invested more in his romantic welfare than her own.

"There was no luck about it" he replied smugly.

And it wasn't luck really. More the work of a mildly malevolent figment of his imagination that had apparently been brought to life, and one whose name his sister Lorraine had come to loathe with a passion during their childhood.

It was fair to say that Jake and Lorraine hadn't enjoyed the best of relationships as kids. A lot of that had been down to Bash, but they had the kind of sibling dynamic that would probably have made natural enemies out of them anyway. Lorraine, only a year older than Jake, had been bright, hard working, high achieving and behaved impeccably at all times. She was the kind of child any parent would have dreamed of raising and, while Jakes' had always maintained they didn't have a favourite, Lorraine very clearly was. He had always felt like he'd been set up by her to be a disappointment in comparison and over time started to embrace that role. His psychiatrist had claimed his manifestation of Bash had been largely motivated by his desire to act out against his sister without wanting to take ownership of his actions.

Alongside Lorraine, the other main target for Bash to torment had been Jenny Hodges, the girl next door. Jake felt sure it had only been her constant close proximity that had put her in the cross-hairs of his imaginary friend, but the shrink thought she was the first girl Jake had unknowingly developed a romantic interest in and, not understanding what those feelings were or how to deal with them act that age, he'd wanted to get any reaction he could from the poor girl just so he could feel significant to her. Jake had never really bought into that theory - in hindsight he did recall Jenny being almost angelically pretty, but he'd thought all females were boring and annoying at that stage of his life.

Luckily he didn't find Lorraine boring or annoying nowadays. Their relationship had blossomed as they matured into adults to the point they were effectively best friends now, as tragic as that sometimes felt to Jake. They also shared a flat, since they were both perpetually single and renting alone wasn't financially viable.

"So who's the lucky girl, what's she like and are you going to see her again?" she asked her brother excitedly

"Her name is Claire, she's twenty seven and works in the tourism industry. Erm, what else was there?.."

Jake paused to think for a moment. She had lovely tits. Was a great shag who clearly knew her way around a dick. And, um...

"She's an Aires. Is that a star sign you approve of?"

"Yeah. I mean, not for me personally, but Aires ought to work well enough for you."

"Well that's good because I'm seeing her again on Friday."

"Oh, that's awesome! I'm really buzzing for you, Jake!" Lorraine beamed as she gave her brother an affectionate hug.

"Now we just need to find someone for you" he told her in response.

"Yeah, I'm just not sure the right guy exists for me. I think I'm about done looking."

Jake was about to say something encouraging to his big sister when...

"Wooooooah! This is Little Loser Lorraine now?!"

Oh no.

Jake looked up with horror to find Bash ogling his oblivious sibling.

"Damn! She grew up to be HAWT! Seriously buddy, look at that ass! I could just sink my teeth right into it!"

"Jake, is everything alright?" Lorraine asked her brother with sudden concern "You look like you've seen a ghost. A ghost that's made you very, very angry."

"My phone is buzzing" Jake reached into his pocket "I think it's one of those nuisance callers you just can't get rid of. Hang on, I'll deal with it."

"Oh, using the old phone trick so we can discuss how to mess with your sister right in front of her!" Bash grinned approvingly "That's positively devilish. I love it!"

"I want you to leave me and my family alone, okay? I want you to fuck off and I never want to hear from you again. You're nothing but fucking trouble!"

"Aw, come on Jakey, don't be such a hypocritical little bitch. You were perfectly happy with me mind zapping that nice young lady who didn't even like you into letting you fuck her last night. All I wanna do is turn your sister into a horny nudist lesbian slut so I've got some decent live action porn to watch while I'm helping you sort your own sorry love life out."

"I'm warning you!"

"Aw come on, you heard her! She already said she's done with guys. That leaves either girl on girl action or her pleasuring herself with the seven inch vibrator I found in her bedside drawer, which I'd also totally be down to spectate on."

"I'll fucking kill you!"

"Aha Jake!" Bash raised his finger and adopted the voice of a Shakespearean actor "Your empty threats do not scare me, for thou cannot kill what does not exist!"

"Just hang up!" Lorraine ordered her brother "I never even engage in conversation with these people. It certainly won't do you any good to get worked up arguing with someone like that. It won't make them stop."

"You see, you should listen to your sister. She was always way smarter than you" Bash taunted.

"Ugh, fine!" Jake bit his lip and put his phone back in his pocket.

"There, don't you feel better already?" Lorraine asked.

"Well, don't ya Jakey?" Bash grinned triumphantly "Because I know I'm about to feel a helluva lot better."

He then walked towards Lorraine and waved his hands theatrically, like he was casting a spell on her in a stage show, while speaking in his best attempt at a Harry Potter accent.

"HORNYUS NUDICUS SLUTTICUS LESBIANUS!"

Oh fuck.

This was not a positive development.