Lorraine's New Perspective

"You know what, Jake? I'm feeling so inspired by your success last night I think I'm going to find myself some pussy too" Lorraine announced, just as casually as if she'd decided to take up crocheting.

"But you're straight?" her brother protested, like such basic logic could somehow overpower Bash's twisted magic.

"Sexuality can be a fluid thing, little brother. I've tried being straight my whole adult life and look where that's got me" she reasoned with a shrug "I feel like there's a whole other gender for me to explore that I haven't even touched yet, and I intend to have plenty of fun doing just that. God, I don't know why I never thought of this before. Another girl would have a way better understanding of my body and where and how to touch me than ninety nine per cent of guys do. I've had enough men fumbling clumsily around down there for a couple of minutes and calling it foreplay before sticking their dick into me to last a lifetime."

"Jesus Lorraine, I really don't want to be having this conversation with you."

"Oh, grow up, we're both adults" his sister tutted before picking up her phone "You can switch your preferences in the settings on Tinder, right?"

"I wouldn't know, I've never suddenly decided to turn gay!"

"Oh yeah, look. it's easy. I just have to make a small edit to my profile" she realised as she played around with the app.

"Although maybe I should take some new photos. The ones I have are so wholesome and conservative looking. If I want people to know I'm down to fuck I think I'll need to throw in some more racy ones and show off some proper cleavage. I want to catch as much quality cunt as possible, right?"

"Dammit Lorraine, the last thing I need is you turning our flat into some kind of lesbian fuck pad!" Jake protested.

"Ooh, a lesbian fuck pad. That has such a beautiful ring to it. It almost brings a tear to my eye" Bash cackled as he rubbed his hands together gleefully.

"Seriously Jake, what's gotten into you?" Lorraine looked appalled "You've never objected to me banging my boyfriends here. Stop being such a fucking homophobe!"

"Yeah, try and be more enlightened like your ol' pal Bash! I'm very open to a bit of the ol' girl on girl action."

This was already becoming too much for Jake to deal with, and it was only going to get worse.

"Shit, I can barely concentrate on my swiping. These clothes are so bloody annoying and restrictive!" Lorraine suddenly complained as she tugged at the hem of her shorts "Why am I even wearing anything when it's only you and me here?"

"Er, I don't know Lorraine - perhaps because siblings living together while naked would be completely messed up!"

"How?" she asked in genuine bewilderment as she pulled the shorts off, allowing her t-shirt to drop down over her panties "You don't feel any attraction towards me do you?"

"Fuck yeah!" Bash shouted as he dropped down to his knees and tried to look up the gap between Lorraine's legs "Oh wait, she was talking to you, right?"

"Fucking hell, El! Of course I don't! Do you even have to ask?"

"So what's the problem?" Lorraine had by now pulled off her t shirt and was standing in just her panties "You're practically genetically programmed to never want to shag me, so me being naked ought to be one of the most neutral sights you could possibly...Oh stop shielding your eyes like a fucking child, Jake. They're just tits, I'm not Medusa"

"Oh man, I'm going to love living here!" Bash proclaimed with a lovesick expression, as if a man could form a romantic attachment to a pair of breasts.

"I'm just saying Lorraine that, under any normal circumstances you would agree with me!"

"So what's not normal about this?" she whipped her knickers off then held her arms out as if to indicate everything was exactly as it should be.

"Name me one thing that is different to how everything usually is around here."

Jake hesitated. His frustration was almost palpable.

"You can tell her if you like, Jakey" Bash shrugged "Stitch me up if you feel it's for the best. I'm sure your sister will understand. And if she doesn't, it might be nice for you and that shrink to catch up again after all of these years."

"Well?" Lorraine continued to probe, almost a little smugly.

"Nothing" her brother answered through gritted teeth "There is nothing unusual about today."

"Good" she nodded "In that case I will be practicing my yoga in the lounge where I have the space to really stretch out and contort my body, And then, I'm going on the hunt for some delicious pussy!"

Unable to take any more of either the conversation or Lorraine's nudity, Jake stormed off to his room and swung the door shut with the ferocity of a sulking teenager, before sitting on his bed and mouthing a single word,

"Wassssuuuuuuuuuup!"

That had been his and Bash's secret code phrase to call each other with when they were kids. He felt utterly absurd using it as a grown man, but it worked, with Bash quickly appearing in front of him.

"Wassuuuuuuuuuuup buddy! You wanna take some time out to talk about things? Well I've got you covered - your sisters naked downward dog is on pause in the main room.Though, honestly, I'm keen to get back to it pretty quickly. I was kind of in the middle of something when you summoned me, if you catch my drift. Anyway, shoot!"

"What's it going to take?"

"Whad'ya mean?"

"What's it going to take for you to make my sister not a lesbian whore, get her to put her clothes back on and then for you to fuck off out of my life again. Forever, this time."

"C'mon man! I can't go until you've found true love, I already told you that." Bash reminded his friend "And as for Little Loser Lorraine, I need to make some entertainment for myself while I'm here. Although, if you and I were to go on a series of fun filled adventures together like we did in the old days then maybe I might be able to see my way into turning her back into her boring old self. I gotta say, it would feel like an almost tragic waste though."

"I can't go on fun filled adventures with you, Bash" Jake attempted, rather pointlessly, to reason "I'm twenty nine years old. I have a job and rent to pay. Laws to abide by. And I don't have the power of invisibility or not fucking existing to protect me. Anyway, our adventures never ended up being that fun. You made them sound like they would be, but ultimately they always ended with me upsetting someone and getting yet another bollocking. And as an adult, it would be the police and not my mother handing that out."

"But those crazy powers you invented for me actually work now! You've seen that. We can really fuck shit up together buddy. Do whatever you want, no consequences! Don't forget, you created me to have all the fun you knew you couldn't on your own!"

"Mate, you're literally a walking embodiment of all the things I thought were cool when I was seven years old. You haven't got a fucking clue what I want to do now."

"Sure I do. it's you who's forgotten how to enjoy yourself" Bash insisted "And I'm gonna prove that to you the best possible way there is. You and I are going to track down Little Jenny Jerkoff!"