Rachel doesn’t believe it

“No way,” says Rachel. “You’re saying that Chandler tried to crawl into your dress and pleasure you right there at your reception?”

“He looked like a starving dog. He was ravenous,” Phoebe says. “If my husband hadn’t of walked in, I was going to have to kick him before he could eat me out.”

I shake my head, “It didn’t happen that way at all. I remember sitting on the bench and politely massaging your swollen pregnant feet. Then you started rubbing my cock with your foot, and you teased me mercilessly when I got hard so quickly. When Joey I had to hide my lap from him, so he wouldn’t see the tent in my pants. That was all you. I did not crawl into your dress.”

“You totally wanted to. I saw the look in your eyes,” Phoebe says.

“Ha!” Rachel calls out, “You’re already backtracking your supposedly true story. But I do believe the part about Chandler getting hard so easily. I swear he got an erection tonight just looking at my cleavage from across the fire.”

Phoebe bursts out laughing, “He totally did! I watched him adjust and try to hide it!”

How did I become the joke?

I say, “Are you girls saying it’s a bad thing that I get hard so easily?”

“Not at all,” says Rachel, “it can be annoying how long it takes Ross to get hard when he’s been drinking.”

Phoebe says, “Your soft right now from all this storytelling. I bet I can get you hard in less than a minute without even touching you.”

“If you win, I’ll admit that I did want to see what panties you were wearing under your wedding dress. If you lose, then you admit that you’ve always been the aggressor in our teasing.”

“I like a bet that is such low stakes, deal,” says Phoebe.