Puss in boots (Kaitlyn Dever)

A long time ago, in a land far far away, there was an old miller who had three daughters. On his deathbed, he gave his eldest daughter (Alexandra Krosney) the mill. The middle daughter (Molly Ephraim) was given the ass. Ironic, as her mother had given her one already. And the youngest daughter Gioia (Kaitlyn Dever) was simply given the house cat.

Gioia truly felt like she got the short end of the stick, for while her sisters could continue their work, she was left with a nagging furball who rarely catches mice. “Well, I suppose you’ll serve for one or two meals. Now where did we keep our cat cookbook?”

“Woah woah woah!” The cat rose up, its front paws aimed at the maiden. “I’ve been yer family’s pet for seven bloody years, and now yer servin’ me up as dinner?! Ya really know what loyalty is, don’t cha?”

Gioia stumbled backward, knocking over a kitchen chair in the process. “WHAT IN TARNATION?! You can TALK?!”

“Dunno why yer so surprised?” The cat (voiced by Danny Devito) cocked his head in confusion. “Every cat can talk, it’s pretty common knowledge, y’know?”

“As if!”

“Look, I have a deal for ya. Give me a bag and a pair of boots, and I’ll get ya everything yer ever wanted.”

Gioia was rather skeptical about the cat’s offer, but she saw no risk in giving him the items.

After all, she could always eat him later.

She got the bag and went to a shoemaker (who gave the maiden some odd stares when she asked for cat boots), which she then gave to the cat.

For the next three months, the cat hunted down rabbits and partridges, which he then offered to the queen (Brooke Shields). “A gift from the Marchioness of Carabas!” He’d always proudly proclaim.

After the third month, the cat took Gioia to the river. “Alright, Gioia.” Spoke the cat, slapping his paws together. “Yer this close to getting everything you’ve ever wanted. Just more thing, and yer golden!”

“Alright, what do you want me to do?”

“Strip.”

“…Come again?” Gioia raised an eyebrow.

“Now, there isn’t enough time to explain this. Just trust me. Get naked, and jump in the river.”

Gioia looked around. Luckily, there weren’t any people around, but she knew it would change any minute now. Still, she obeyed. She took off layer after layer after layer after layer after layer after layer, until she reached her undergarments. She took a big gulp, before she carefully slipped off her brassiere, her small chest popping out. She put her thumbs in her panties, took a deep sigh, and pulled them down rapidly. She quickly put a hand between her legs and an arm over her breasts before she sprinted into the water, her bum jiggling with every step.

“Now what?” Spat the woman.

“Now, we wait!” Grinned the cat.