A very large, very attractive policeman.

I was too stunned by the sight of an enormous, handsome man in uniform (and also by my immense humiliation) to say anything while my wrist was latched into one half of a cuff.

“Is this the creep you were talking about, ma’am?” The large policeman asked, addressing a woman who was looking at me like I burned down her garden.

“He’s the one officer!”

This exchange was at least as scary as it was embarrassing now. I couldn’t even cover my cock to hide it from the women passing by on their skateboards, and things were clearly getting worse. “W-wait, why am I being arrested? I didn’t do anything!”

“We’ve got you on plenty.“ The officer said as he locked my other arm in the manacles, “Public nudity, indecent exposure, animal endangerment, disturbing the peace, and looking good naked.”

“What was that last one?”

“Nothing.”

“Either way, we can’t just have guys running around naked in public, so you’re coming with me.”

“H-hey! Wait, y-you can’t just parade me around naked, those girls can see my dick!” I yelped, desperately trying to hide my penis with my thighs while that same group of skater girls from my college blew kisses at, and snapped photos of my blushing body.

“Eh,” the officer shrugged, “Can’t say I remember any part of the Miranda rights that says, ‘you have the right to remain clothed’. Besides, I think those chicks really like looking at your dick. I know I do.”

Well, this was just fucking perfect. I’ve been arrested by the only cop in the city as perverted as that kangaroo.