Someone for whom you don't need words.

Chapter 74

On the way home you two are holding hands again. It feels good for both of you, but Denise really blooms at your side. With a little conviction on your part, you can make her talk about herself without hate and fear in her voice. When your holiday home appears between the trees and the path slowly begins to dissolve under your feet and begins to change into the sandy area of the parking lot, your... what exactly is she for you, you probably have to discuss this. Your protected one looks at you and presses your hand happily.

"Thank you for taking care of me."

"We still have a long way to go, you will have to fight a lot, I'm afraid. But I will accompany you on the way and look forward to the fact that we can improve your life together.” You grimace inwardly as you sound like a mixture of a miracle healer and an entertainer. But it seems to be working and her step is getting easier. Maybe you can still make the girl behave as she did when you arrived. You set the goal to keep an eye on her mood in order to be prepared for any crises. How you add Denise to your small - well, not so small anymore - group, you don't know yet. So far all of your girls have been extremely understanding and without their help, you would not be able to do what you set out to do. However, there is no way around the fact that you also have to give each of the girls time alone with yourself. That the group works is the key to your success. That you are there for each of your girls is the line that connects you all. This is how you prefer it anyway, success is in your hands, as is the risk. In your heart, you wish that your girlfriends didn't have to worry about anything when they were with you. So you couldn't just leave Denise behind. But you also know that it is also the girls who keep you sailing in your **** attempts to stay afloat.

When you think of water, your gaze falls on the lake, which reflects sunlight into your eyes like a mirror. Yes, the time at the lake - planned as a simple vacation and place to celebrate - holds a mirror in front of your face. So far you have always been afraid to look inside. When the water wets your feet, you still dare it. Because what you see is exactly what is happening in your life. Several women at your side. You grin, realizing on this hot, crazy, emotionally saturated day that it's exactly what you've always wanted. Multiple partners. No trophies in your closet or lines on a list. Living, breathing people who love you and give you what you need. And even what you give them back is something that gives you meaning and purpose in life. It's actually an unequal bill because you get so much from each of them and you give back so little. But this fact also plays to you and the happiness of the people at your side. It wouldn't work if you leaned back and enjoyed the luxury you stole from life. Your girls would not like to hear that, but after spending time with Denise you realize that it can only work that way. One guy, several girls and what holds everything together is the sacrifice of him and the love of them. Megan would give you one now if she heard that. And Emma too. But they also want you to treat Maureen well and be there for her. And now that you are empowered in your path, you can do that too. You say goodbye to Denise with a hug and both of you laughingly realize that you could use a shower. You don't smell of fried bacon, but the actual smell isn't exactly better. When Denise turns around and hops into the house, she quickly turns around again.

"What should I wear when I'm done," she asks, looking at you steady. You blink twice to face the fact that Denise appears to be adapting to her desired role faster than you thought possible. You must not fall behind for her sake.

"Uh... I think you can choose yourself today." To be honest, you have no idea about women's fashion and you don't even know what she brought to the lake.

"Oh... okay." She hangs her head a bit and even pouts a little. You step closer to her again and her eyes drive over your body expectantly but don't dare to meet yours.

"Nor can I tell you when to go to bed. You're eighteen Denise."

"Yes, I know," she says, but still pouts. You don't want her to feel uncomfortable so shortly after the conversation, and maybe even connect that with you. It has happened before and like last time, if Denise turns away from you again, it could torpedo your efforts. This time she would do it because you don't order her enough. What... the... actual... fuck? You look at the girl who has clasped her hands behind her body and turns shyly in front of you.

"How did you like the day so far?" you ask and an idea forms in your head. You're going to hell anyway. The question wakes Denise up and she shines at you so brightly that the sun loses shine above you.

"It was wonderful, honestly. I feel so good with you.” She lowers her voice a little and you realize she is doing it out of respect for you. "And when you touch me I feel like a different being. I can't describe it, but when I lie in your arms I feel as safe as never before in my life.” She suddenly looks very thoughtful and only then do you suspect that she is beginning to realize that this cannot be normal. You would almost be happy about it. But you are happier when it went otherwise. "Is that... Finn, am I in love with you?" There is no point in going into shock now and it would not help you or Denise if you answered 'yes' to a question of lust. Also, you shouldn't panic and hit it away straight away. You pretend that you have to think first for her sake.

"Hmm... I think you have a crush on me. You can say that."

"And is that good... or bad. I can leave it if you tell me..."

"It's okay" you laugh and have to admit that her distraught face touches something in you. The panic that you could be angry with her, the relief that you aren't, and then hope if you fix things for her. "I also sometimes have difficulty understanding my feelings for other people."

"Pfft, I don't think so" grins Denise and is happy again.

"Are you doubting me?" you ask sternly and relive the change in her face.

"No! You are probably right. I mean you're definitely right.” She pulls a pout again. "Sorry." Then she is even more confused when you hug her and sway her around lightly.

"You definitely have a crush on me, Denise. And that's kind of good. Don't worry about your feelings for me. We discussed something and we are going to do that.” A nod in your armpit confirms your pact. "Come on, take a shower. Maybe you can still help Susan and Claire in the house while I'm in town with Maureen.” The girl separates from you again but is called back. Yes, you end up in hell. "But tell me, are you horny for me after we were together today?" The question now comes so naturally from your lips that it is clear that you too have changed. First, you are looked at with big eyes, then the spirit between her ears who was paralyzed by fear but definitely awake now decide, that there is no point in lying to you. A shy nod. "And what were you going to do about it?" You sound like a mischievous mastermind that brings his plan to perfection and the idea of you and the sound of your words make Denise press her legs closer together.

"I-I wanted... nothing... if you didn't allow me..." She breaks off and nibbles on her fingernails. She is really nervous and you can see the fogging of her senses. You feel the same way. You have already decided how you will cool off. No sex for you today with pretty girls like Denise. For them, however...

"Only if I allow it?" Another nod and a dry laugh from you. "Good to know that you are ready to go that far." You frown. "Two orgasms in the shower, clear? Not one, not three." Denise nods eagerly and literally runs into the house. You stay on the lawn and just shake your head wondering what happened to you. Then you turn back to the lake. You pull yourself down to your underpants and jump into the water. It is still pleasantly cool and if you dive deep below the surface you can still feel the welcome cold. You wash quickly in the lake, clean off most of the sweat and the itchy grass seeds and smell your armpits on the surface. You hardly have time to shower on this hectic day and you hope that Maureen will give you her okay for your appearance. You dive one more time and stay in the dark, secluded and still world for as long as possible. Being all alone down here helps you prepare for the next part of the day. Maybe you should start to meditate? It would certainly help you clear your mind and fill it with the girls that are important to you. When your head breaks through the water surface again you have realigned yourself.

With an energetic stride you come to the beach, pack your things, raise your shirt over your head, but then shrug your shoulders. You only enter the house in your underpants. Inside you find most of the girls on the sofa. An episode of The Witcher runs on Netflix and it appears that it was decided that you wouldn't have to be there to continue the series. Millie and Megan are sitting arm in arm on the sofa, while Susan and Claire are squeezing together in the armchair.

"What's that all about now?" Heads turn to you and Megan says something before she can see you.

"We thought you... oh..." Yes, it's good not to have to hide anymore. The way you behaved would not have worked out very well anyway. Now you can enjoy seeing the jaw of Claire dropping, Susan gasping and Millie amused at the sight you offer the girls. You stand behind the sofa with your hands on your hips and watch your sister Megan as she turns to you and realizes that her boyfriend is soaking wet and only wearing boxer shorts. "Damn Finn, I have a good-looking guy as a friend," she astonishes and whistles to you approvingly.

"What? Do you judge me only by my appearance?” You play the shocked, but do nothing to cover your body. Susan looks like just a suggestive gesture is enough to jump up from the chair and stick to you for ages. Her fingers dig deep into the backrest fabric and her sister holds herself almost panicky under control. Your sisters don't need that and when you lean back towards them, Megan grabs your face with both hands, puts her head back and pulls you down to her. She greedily presses her lips against yours, although doing it upside down is a bit of a hassle. But the result is impressive and when she's finished ramming her tongue into your throat, she roughly pushes you away from you towards Millie, who has been watching you intently and seems to enjoy showing the world who she belongs to too. In any case, she purrs with pleasure when you take her face - more carefully than with Megan - and give her a kiss on the forehead, one on each cheek and one on the nose. Then she can't take it anymore and also clings moaning to your lips.

"Holy shit" comes the excited voice of Karen in the door frame to the kitchen. With a large bowl of popcorn, she stands in the passage and has to do her best not to let the bowl drop. Only a few pieces fall on the floor when she stops abruptly and watches the spectacle on the sofa. While you and Millie don't dream of interrupting your game, Megan laughs relaxed at her friend.

"Come on, give me the popcorn, I'm almost starving," she says, holding out her arms. Like Megan and Millie, Karen is wearing a comfortable sweatshirt with your school's emblem on it. Millie goes to another school with the McKinleys but always feels very comfortable in your shirt, which is several sizes too big for her. Karen doesn't really tear herself away from you and Millie, but manages to walk over to you. Certainly she only does this out of the desire to be close to you and not because she tries to behave normally.

"Looks like you've got what you're hungry for," she grins, looking at her friend's tousled hair that you've messed up with your stunt. Then she looks over at Millie and you. Your tongues are still struggling and Millie has started driving with her little hands over your body. "Or is that still coming?"

"I already had my dose" laughs the middle sister and reaches into the bowl with ****. Soon the popcorn crunch can be heard in the room and you make your way to parting with Millie. When you let her go, she takes a deep breath and her eyes regain focus when she wakes up from her dream. She rubs her face and straightens her hair. Then she smiles at you shyly but with an unmistakable desire for you.

"Shit Finn, what do I have to do so that you treat me like this?" Asks Karen, sounding amused but staring at you with greedy and calculating eyes. You look at your sisters who couldn't be happier with the situation. Megan looks at you with triumphant pride, Millie is a little overwhelmed by the contact with you, but grows livelier by the second. Then you look at the person who asked you the question.

"Become my girlfriend" you grin and are for the first time sure that this could work. However, this may also be due to the contact with your sisters, on whose skin there is certainly some aphrodisiac in the way you react to them. Megan giggles, Millie grins and Karen even laughs out loud, and all of them together make you feel like it can actually work to make a big happy family with them.

"Well if there's nothing else. Where can I queue up?"

"You just have to fill out Form A-A-23. Sign three times, quadruple version“ you smile and move through the room.

"Done honey" grins Karen and surely means it like that. "Will there be a discount if I hire two more people?" Your and her eyes fall on the McKinleys, who are only now becoming painfully aware of how they have acted in front of you. You realize how it must affect those who you have not yet included in your group. Not yet? Wait, buddy. Not so fast... Of course, as if that ever worked for you and these girls. Claire clings tightly to her sister and both stare at you with big eyes and with their mouths slightly open. Their lips are dry and brittle and their nostrils flutter as their bellies lift up to spasmodically breathe air into their lungs. With a little stab of guilt, you hurry to the kitchen and this time the two are not so quick to get ahead of you. With two glasses of ice water you come back into the room and when you stand in front of the two, both have to make an effort to let their faces wander up from your crotch. You give them the glasses with an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry girls. You can imagine what it would be like if you had to suppress something for so long and then finally can release it.” Susan takes her glass as does Claire, who trembles so much that she drops some of the water on her shirt. The corner of your mouth flickers slightly as your eyes meet. "Right" The two nod slowly and then sip their drinks. When you turn back to the others, your sisters look at you knowingly and Karen stunned.

"Where are the others?" you ask as if nothing had happened and you don't have two shivering girls next to you.

"Oh Carrie is outside and said she should go for a walk," says Karen lightly. "Surely she has to cope with you and Megan... and Millie... and Emma... and, judging by her eyes... Denise." She lists your friends on her fingers and when she mentions Denise, Susan and Claire flip over to you. Millie giggles with her irresistible voice and you too notice the looks of the two girls who are attached to you.

"Denise is..." Susan wants to know but stops and looks over at your little sister.

"She has a bad time going through and I help her with it. Out of respect, I don't want to say anything more of her“ you respond kindly, which only brings out a bursting laugh from Karen.

"Sure, of course. Because otherwise, you treat your girlfriends, plural baby, so subtly.” She winks at you, but you also recognize a curiosity in her. You shrug innocently.

"Of course my girls know. Become my girlfriend and I will tell you too." You used the term 'my girls' on purpose and pronounced it out loud. You have been thinking in these terms for some time now, but you do not know how the girls react to them. You also say 'my' girlfriend. And Karen is right. It is plural. The otherwise eloquent and confident Grant has nothing to answer to the saying. So you keep asking. "And the others?"

"Denise scurried upstairs. She looked very sweaty" A wink and you just hope that Karen doesn't suspect what Denise is doing and that she will surely sweat even more. “And Emma and Rachel put together a list of things you should bring with you from the city with your older sister."

"Oh no not yet again" you exclaim, you suppose the worst.

"What do you expect?" asks Karen, laughing. "You get that if you don't take her with you. You can still call her down,” she says, but then looks at your sisters. "But I think you want to spend some time alone with the good Maureen?" You also look at Megan and Millie, who look at each other and then look for your eyes with a smile.

"Shit, how can anyone be so lucky?" Karen grins and looks at the three of you. "With that, you just can only get jealous. Right girls?” She looks over at the McKinley siblings and only gets nervous giggles.

---

But she is right. Especially after the events of the past few days, you think it's best to take the careful tour with Maureen first. With your encounter last night and breakfast this morning, you've already thrown her into cold water. It is high time for you to jump after her and get through it with her.

You leave two satisfied and three horny girls in the living room with a series that you should actually watch. But still, you happily climb the stairs and knock on the door to the older girls' room after throwing new clothes on in your room and realizing that your sisters have brought it up to scratch. Inside you find Maureen, bravely holding on to one hell of an onslaught from Rachel. You almost have to laugh out loud when you find the girls in the room. Rachel turns around the room, searches through her things and talks incessantly to your older sister, while she barely moves and has a look that is half boring and half uncomfortable. But Rachel doesn't seem to care. Emma sits on the edge of the bed and watches the two embarrassed. She is the first to notice you and gives you a happy smile.

"... and tell him we still need lemons and limes for the cocktails and maybe some chocolate. And if he finds it, then he should bring coconut cream with him."

"For what?" asks your sister, sees you and waves you with sad eyes. But it is a different suffering than you usually see from her and you both notice the comedy of this situation.

"Well Maureen, I see you are getting used to our world" you laugh when Rachel drives around to you, a little startled. Then she grins mischievously and comes around to you.

"Ah Finn. Then I don’t have to explain to this wooden head what you use beauty products for,” she says, playfully punching you on the shoulder.

"Unlike you, I just don't need that," laughs Maureen and lets you look at her in astonishment. You wouldn't have thought that she would come to terms with Rachel so quickly. Or maybe she likes her somewhat dirty taste. The same likes to join the same. Then why is it you who slept with her and not Rachel?

"Oh God Finn" Maureen comes up to you and actually hugs you briefly. Again something that surprises you, but again something that does it in a very pleasant way. Emma notices it and shows you warm thumps up. You have climbed too far to resist the impression that your big sister's breasts fit your body perfectly. "She's just crazy." She steps back and holds a notepad under your nose. “We should bring all of this from the city. Where have you picked up this woman?"

"You should see how she goes when we go through the Spanish Civil War," you grin, and Rachel inflates her cheeks with mock indignation.

---

"And woe, you don't bring everything with you," she calls after you out the window when you and Maureen get into your car. You waved goodbye to Rachel and Emma but with Maureen next to you and the notepad full of errands on her lap you are in a hurry to leave the danger zone.

On the drive into the city, the girl next to you shows amazing interest in the list in front of her. She seems to remember every word, tries to memorize the absurdly long list of beauty products and food, and records everything else that Rachel gave you on the way. Now and then you look over at her but she never returns your gaze. You hold the steering wheel a little harder when you turn a corner.

"At some point, we have to talk to each other Maureen", you mean gritting your teeth. You can understand her. It is now normal for you to sleep with your sisters. With most of them. And a few extra girls by the side. She just escaped a monster and managed to get to safety just to get to bed with the next guy the same day. When she drops the block and puts her face ashamedly in her hands, you already suspect that you two still will have a lot to do. You won a victory by freeing her from Josh. But in historical comparison, you just landed in Normandy and still have a few years of bloody battles ahead of you against an opponent who will throw everything at you. It will not be easy to prove yourself worthy of Maureen and the battles in Normandy have made the Eastern Front look like a walk in the snow.

"Fuck, what have I done?" She moans but at least doesn't sound ****. Nevertheless, she shakes her head and exhales in agony. Then she shows you two that you are somehow on the same level, which gives you hope. "How could I sleep with you? And tell you that I... you know. Fuck! After everything that happened. Fuck damn." You have to grin at her expressions. Strangely, you haven't got these problems. But you are not the prime example of dealing with such obstacles. You have no difficulty putting your thing in your sisters. Nevertheless, you have to make sure that Maureen does not retreat now that you managed to build a bridgehead on the beach.

"You didn't sleep with me" you mean and shock her so much that she drops her hands and looks at you in disbelief.

"What? Are you crazy?” she asks stunned but not with anger. But you shake your head without taking your eyes off the road. Protecting Maureen has become as important as for your other girls.

"No. If so, then I slept with you. I came downstairs and I lay down with you."

"Oh come on. I snuggled up to you too.” Suddenly she uses such tender words. And is there an itsy bitsy hint of joy in her words?

"Well, then we just slept with each other." Now you look at her briefly and she also looks over at you. Her eyes ask the important question and she too wants to know.

"Was it a mistake?" She needs to know that, the urgency is in her voice. But also the fear of an answer and the inevitable consequences that result of it. What if you say 'yes'?

"You have to know that for yourself. I trust you and stand behind you, no matter how you choose.” The only answer is a contemptuous snort and a look of several seconds out of the window into the light forest. She doesn't answer but still comes towards you, which only pulls you even more to her side.

"Was it a mistake for you?" Again, concern speaks from her voice but also an overwhelming curiosity.

"No way." You put as much authority in your voice as possible, but then you become gentler again. "I have to say that it helped a lot to be so close to you last night."

"Me too" she agrees meekly. Then she shakes again and forces herself to stay serious. "But still it was a mistake." It sounds as convincing as Mao Zedong, who promises his people that slaughtering all sparrows would lead to more grain.

"If you say so." With that sentence, you make a risky move. Maureen looks at you in surprise.

"You don't disagree with me?" Inside you burn off fireworks to celebrate your victory while Maureen looks at you as if you've gone crazy. "Of all the people I know, I thought you would be the first to say to me, that we meant to be together." She sounds almost fascinated but somehow disappointed. You and your drill sergeant give yourself a high five.

"Would that make a difference?" you ask and turn into the access road to Seacrest. You are too busy on the street to look at her and an old lady in her red Volvo demands all your concentration so you miss your next assignment by a few seconds.

"Well..." you hear the soft voice of Maureen next to you. Now you have to act quickly to avoid planting the seeds of a very destructive thought.

"Don't get me wrong," you say, interrupting her and missing the first entrance to the parking lot at Seacrest Mall. As you head for the next one, you focus more and more on the girl next to you. “If Millie has a problem that I can help her with, then of course I'll help her. With Megan too.” You quickly look to the side and see a frown and bowed eyes. You swing into the parking lot, screw up the first attempt because you pay too much attention to the wrinkled tip of your big sister's nose and have to try again. When you finally stop, you **** off the engine and hurry to put your hand gently but urgently on her thigh. Maureen looks at your hand, but when it does nothing more than to be close, your eyes meet again. From one side, worry and nervousness are sent to you and sent back to the same extent. But you try to make her feel good in the unsuitable atmosphere of a heated and narrow interior. "But with you, I know that I don't have to make any decisions for you." You smile at your Maureen, or maybe not quite yours. "You always mastered your difficulties all by yourself and I would never think of imposing my will on you.” Maureen looks at you in silence for a while and you feel your protective wall crumble more and more like the ice wall from Game of Thrones. Okay, seeing Maureen as a zombie dragon may not be the best view of things.

"But you're the only one who sees it that way" mumbles the other person and you even flinch a little when she puts her hand on yours. "Sorry. I didn't want to…” your sister says and pulls her hand back.

"No, everything's okay!" You can't hold the excitement anymore either and pull your sister's hand back with gentle ****. Together you look at your hands. The color of her almost perfect skin is different from yours. It is clear, of course, that you are not really siblings, but only now you notice the differences between you. Not just the look. Also the lives you have lived, the decisions and also the experiences that make you the people you are now. While you have always felt connected with Megan and Millie, Maureen is a person who - even if she is also your sister - looks more like a new acquaintance to you than a saved relationship. But still there is the gnawing fear that you might make a mistake and hurt her - again - and she is alone - again.

"But now you **** your will on me," Maureen murmurs and you look at your intertwined hands. Something dies inside of you and you feel in line with Josh and Nathaniel. You feel like you **** Maureen.

"Oh damn... excuse me..." You quickly pull your hand away from hers and wish it would fall off. Rotting from badness. But Maureen also looks shocked and looks at you with real panic in the eyes.

"No, I didn't mean that!" She almost exclaims and reaches for yours again. Unfortunately, it no longer feels so soft and tender and she too notices that something has changed. "Fuck!" she swears softly and bangs her head furiously against the backrest. The seat shakes under her. "I always do everything wrong." She looks at you tortured. "It is not as easy with me as with your sisters," she says, and unfortunately she is right. Neither of you can do anything about it, but it is precisely this confusion of each other that is the reason why there is a gap between you. With Megan and Millie, you never had to wonder if it was right and good to touch them, and Maureen apparently never saw anyone touch her to do her good. It cannot be argued away and the only right thing to do is to agree with her. That makes her sad, of course, and you too curse the circumstances that **** you to do this. "Maybe it was a mistake after all," says your big and not always so strong sister resignedly.

"No, it wasn't." You shake your head, lean back and look out of the window. The lady with the red Volvo is turning into a parking lot a few places away from you. Slowly she gets out and finally waddles comfortably across the parking lot without paying attention that a trucker in an SUV behind her who almost despairs at her pace. You drop your head to the side and look at the person next to you. "If I know one thing, then that it was not a mistake."

"What do you mean? The separation of us? Josh? The holidays? The sex? Or that we said to ourselves that we... love each other?” Maureen shakes her head resignedly and looks out of the window. "We barely know each other. What did we think?“ You haven't had a plan with her for a long time now. You just react. That is good and bad at the same time. But since you’re just reacting, you don’t know what outweighs. But that's what makes your relationship with your big sister. The reactions from you to her actions. She also only reacts to the life she lives. And maybe it's not a bad thing that at Maureen you are now expressing your spontaneous thoughts and not following a plan like Josh and her father and everyone else that may not necessarily have her good in mind. In any case, that applies to Josh.

"We don't have to know each other either." It's quiet in the car. Only the engine cracks a little in the heat of the day and it slowly gets hot inside the car, which has not yet had a chance to cool down.

"Oh no?" Unbelief. Understandable. Changeable.

"No," you say in a firm voice and shake your head. "We are siblings. I know I haven't always... almost never behaved like a brother to you. But even if we hardly know each other and also if we have lived different lives. Nothing prevents us from connecting our lives together now. I told you last night what life I'm living. And I would give up everything for you that would not affect the girls I love. I am ready to get involved with you as much as I can and as far as you allow it.“ Again you put your hand on hers and this time she turns her hand under yours and intertwines her fingers with yours. My god feels that good. "It was not a mistake that we slept together. We both needed it. And I still need you, Maureen. I want you in my life. I need my big sister.” It was a powerful attack that would have broken the defense of your little sisters like a two thousand pound warhead a tent in the desert. But Maureen had to build a line of defense in her life that would make the Atlantic Wall look like a wooden fence.

"I may be your sister," she says bitterly and looks at you. "But I'm not acting that way. My life is broken and I deserve all the shit I've done. You may wish for a big sister, but I could never give it to you. I would hurt you."

"I don't care," you say defiantly. Perhaps a little too defiant, because the next argument hits.

"I could hurt Megan and Millie." You painfully draw air into your lungs and have to think about it while Maureen looks at you almost confident of victory. A bitter victory that demands more sacrifices than she could afford.

"Would you deliberately hurt them?"

"No, I couldn't. Honestly not, ”she says and you believe it. "But I'm dirty enough to do it accidentally."

“But the same applies to them as to me. We are all siblings and belong together.” You grin slightly. "I know it's hard to see. Especially after your way. But it is like that. Whether we sleep or fuck with each other. Whether we love each other or not. Whether we hurt each other or not. We are siblings and I want you in my life. And Millie and Megan want that too.”

"And Emma? What does she say about sharing you?” When you laugh out loud, your older sister almost hits you in the face with shock.

“Emma would love to go shopping with you. More than me. Look at the list. I have no idea what all these names mean.” You calm down a little. "Believe me. Emma would be happy to see you and me happy.” Your facial features light up somewhat. "That's what it is about. We all share the desire to make others happy. I don't want to make them sad and they don't want to exclude a girl from our group because they know how it feels to lose... well, me. There isn't a better way to describe what we have. Megan and Millie don't want me to have to choose between them and break the heart of one of them. Emma is grateful that the two of them share me with her and is happy to do her part to my happiness. And all of them want to see you and me happy.” Again you laugh out loud but this time Maureen just looks at you blankly. "Believe me, I'm the only one who blames myself for being so happy. Everyone else is quite happy with it, I think.” Maureen looks almost incredulous but says nothing against you. Your hands are still touching and none of you have any idea to change that.

"That... that's a... nice idea" she finally whispers and looks at you. "I am happy for you that you have found your happiness."

“But that's not because of having three girlfriends. This is because being there for the three and ensuring their happiness. The three understand that and I would therefore also like to be there for you. We don't have to sleep together or be friends. You don't have to live in our house or take part in our celebrations. You don't have to feel obliged to anything Maureen.” You hold her hand more tightly and squeeze it so that she feels your closeness. When you think that you can't make her understand that you don't want to control her, your stomach twists. "I just don't want to know that you're feeling bad. I want you to be able to live your life the way you want it to be. If that means that it happens without me or Megan and Millie, that's just the way it is." You have to swallow at the thought. But you can't tell her at that moment that you're serious about your feelings for her. You had most of your life the time to realize this. Who knows how she sees it.

"Me..." She breaks off, don't know what to say. "I liked the evening yesterday." Your heart stops for a beat or two. Hearing it sounds unbelievable and you almost think you just imagined it. But when a smile covers the well-known suffering on her face and the bad feelings are wiped away with a mixture of joy, trust and a good dose of nervousness, you realize that you are not dreaming. "I needed that too." Then Maureen smiles a tender smile that you will remember forever. For you, this is the moment when you take her into your heart and she takes the rightful place in the long line of thrones on which sit the women who rule your life in a wonderful triumvirate. There is nothing more to say. For you and Maureen, the events are just too overwhelming and just the small step that you say these words is so overwhelmingly important that you two are speechless.

---

At some point you can't stand it in the heat of the car. None of the shirts of Megan fit Maureen because her breasts are larger than those of your middle sister. As a result, you have to consciously take your gaze away to avoid staring at the stretched top. Without a word, you hand her one of your sweaters, under which she will sweat a lot. But better than being gaped at by any male representative of the human species. You quickly cross the hot asphalt and enter the mall. You suggest letting her shop alone while you struggle with the rest of the list, but in a touching gesture your sister asks you to do the shopping together.

"It's your money little brother," she murmurs. "I feel bad enough already."

"It actually belongs to my father, so..."

"Oh shut up," she moans and rolls her eyes, but immediately laughs cheerfully. "How can my sisters take it with you? Let me say it again: I want to go shopping with you."

"Yes... super great..." you just grin and Maureen shakes her head. Then she comes closer to you.

"I need everything, little brother. Underwear too. Get it?” Your jaw drops like a cheap cartoon and Maureen actually finds it funny. Once again it turns out that some day can be saved at the expense of you. You are the last one to complain about it.

"Wow. So if you really want to... "

"What should I want little brother? Do you think I'll jump into bed with you right away or what?” You shake your head amused.

"There she is again. My big sister as I know her."

"And do you like me that way?" Again this undertone, like the evening before you left. It seems like an eternity to you. But now you can see better through her behavior and realize that the question is really serious. A few days ago, before Josh and before Megan and Millie, you would have answered the question with a snappy and certainly hurtful comment. But now you see your sister's nervousness and tension.

"You only prick as much as you want. I now know what's behind your facade now. And I like it. A lot."

"Good thing," says Maureen in her usual meaningless ambiguity, but could not express what she feels more clearly. And knowing that she and you have reached a level where you two can communicate makes you both smile comfortably.

---

There are actually worse things than shopping with your older sister. As far as she is concerned, she only ask for your opinion on every third piece and you give her real feedback and not the 'Everything on you looks great' bullshit as she knows it from Josh. So far you haven't dared to tell girls something like this in this situation, but Maureen seems to blossom when you tell her that 'the blue one looks better on you'. Still, it takes almost two hours, and of course, you are the one who carries the bags. If you particularly like a part, Maureen tries it on in the locker room and you think about risking at least one look. Maybe there could come more from it. Yet you just limit yourself to standing in front of the curtain and passing your sister a piece or two through the gap.

"Finn?" You finally hear her voice behind the pieces of cloth. You turn to her and she sticks her head through the gap. She looks around a little unsure and only then looks at you. You have to breathe through your mouth because the air strangely comes scares in your lungs. You articulate a stuttering answer. "I need your opinion on two of those items," she says. "Do you mind..." She nods at you and your brain turns to automatic. You stretch out your hands in slow motion and want to divide the curtain. But Maureen gets ahead of you, pulling your arms quickly through the gap and the next thing you see is...

"Holy Mother..."

"Good answer, but maybe a little too hasty," she grins. Her relaxed nature cannot hide her quicker breathing, dilated pupils and the somewhat hectic movements. It is tight in the cabin and you have an unnatural fear of stepping on your sister's feet. You squeeze yourself into a corner but don't get very far from Maureen. Apparently she doesn't want that either and when your back is pressed against the wall she comes a step closer to you. She's wearing a new bikini in black and red and it's... surprisingly conservative. You notice that because your eyes, like the seeker of an infrared rocket, mercilessly cling to her hot, shapely and... nervously shivering body. "Take your time," grins your older sister, but looks to the side with not only slightly flushed cheeks. She has clasped her hands behind her back and demonstratively presses her chest forward.

"Shit..." you just whisper and look at her body. The upper part reminds your tormented brain more of a sports bra, extends almost to her ribs, but leaves a triangular surface just above the navel. The bikini bottoms are overlaid by a skirt that is attached to the base at several points and extends over the curves of her buttocks and hips.

"I figured that now that I'm going to be with my baby sisters more often, I should act more like a big sister and not like... you know...," Maureen murmurs, and doesn't sound so bitchy and pretentious.

"You are beautiful" it breaks out and you put your hand in front of your mouth in alarm. "Fuck... Um... forget that. I mean... it's true though... I just don't want to persuade you to do anything." But Maureen takes it very well and waves it off with a bright laugh. Relieved you dare to continue talking. "You don't need to try on the other swimsuit at all. You look absolutely fantastic in it. Stunning. Beautiful and... well..."

"But I want to show you the other one," says your sister and something in her voice makes you ponder. You look at each other for several seconds, then you pull yourself together again.

"All right. There must have been a reason that I was dragging your bags behind me all the time.” You turn around with a waved goodbye and slide your hands between the fabric of the curtain, but then, suddenly, feel a hand on your shoulder. That is the moment when the last remnants of your mental health say goodbye for now. Your drill sergeant can hardly hold back. Take her! Fuck her! She wants it! Go Go Go! At her you dog! Take! Keep! Conquer!

But then you turn around, face your big, complicated but lovely big sister, and your lust is replaced by something else that you already know too well. The only thing that is even better than the passion and desire for a perfect body in a perfect moment. Love. As soon as you see Maureen, the insecurity in her eyes, the excitement and the same processes that are taking place in you at this moment, there is nothing more than love. And she also recognizes it. Again you don't need words. You nod your head, you step back against the wall, but this time you keep your eyes on your sister like it's normal. She braces herself first, hesitates a little, but then she realizes the same truth as you. She smiles happily, freely and in love when she strips.

You have dreamed of her breasts for so long. They were the first thing you imagined when you became interested in women. Even before you really understood feelings of love and responsibility, Maureen you under her spell with her breasts. Millie and Megan showed you that there is more than just the pictures in your head and the responsibility for people. And Maureen is now showing you what you had dreamed of for years. It was she who set you on the path from which she strayed and who created for your other sisters the brother they needed. Maureen has made the ultimate sacrifice to make you, with her external stimuli, the person who has developed a - perhaps unhealthy and definitely immoral but mich needed and welcomed - interest in his sisters. And it almost brings tears to your eyes when you realize that it is not her body that brings you together, but what Maureen gave her sisters and had to look for for so long. It is the certainty that you are there for her, the knowledge of your mission and the understanding that she does not have to use her body for it, that make Maureen your girlfriend now.

"Now I understand" your older sister mumbles without taking her eyes off you. She has her bikini in hand and is not ashamed of her nudity. "Was it that easy all the time?" She shakes her head in disbelief as she confidently and confidently leads her hands into the waistband of her pants. Yes, you already had sex, but in the tight, small and somewhat uncomfortable environment of the poorly lit changing room you come closer than you could ever get physically. "So my little sisters are really right." You can't say anything, just stare at your sister's body in enchanted silence, but you only see her scarred, battered but now healing soul. Then Maureen Lynchwood stands naked in front of her brother and looks at him with wake and dreamy eyes.

"We..." You have to say something, but you can't do it and fail. But it does not matter. You two are connected from now on. Maureen shakes her head slowly, smiles and is almost incredulous.

"No. Not we. You. You all alone.” She comes up to you, pulls you towards her and it is she who hugs you. You lift your arms without strength, the healing of your worst wounds just an arm's length away, one breath away. "I thank you."

---

• A 'hurray' for Maureen. She needs a nickname. Give me your suggestions at https://www.patreon.com/writingshark and make your voice count!