A poor Kitten

Chapter 73

And of course, it was Emma - how else should it be? - who sent you back to the house with a kiss on the cheek and an intimate hug. A disadvantage of having so many women in your life is time. The only enemy you can't defeat. All you have to do is enjoy the time you spend with the girls instead of complaining that you can't pay enough attention to them. When you step onto the terrace, you suspect that you are probably the only one who thinks so. So far, luck, or whatever controls your life, has ensured that your friends are satisfied with the time you cut out of the day with all your might. But it's also a shame. It would be easier with just one girl. You shake your head. These are thoughts for which you would get a crushing reprimand from... any of your girlfriends actually. The thought of Millie telling you off almost shakes you with laughter. No. Your little sister would prefer other ways to influence you.

You encounter one of these ways in the living room. Denise has a hard time carrying plates and bowls that she carefully takes to the kitchen. She and the McKinleys commute between the rooms to free the table from its heavy burden. When she sees you standing in the door on the way back to the table, she throws a reserved smile at you. She wants to say something, but Claire is already rushing past her and you are busy the next few minutes to prove to the girl and her sister that they are doing their job well. Millie will definitely have to shed light on their behavior because you still can't figure out why the two are trying so hard to please you. But you also admit that you've been focusing on Denise and her demons lately. You are no longer amazed at the fact that all three girls have taken a liking to you. Too much has happened in the past few days.

As you listen with one ear to the two sisters telling their plans, you watch Denise with your eyes. She stands patiently next to the two sisters and waits for her chance to speak to you. It's kind of touching how she takes herself back, and if you don't blame Susan and Claire for enjoying your closeness, it does make your decision to take care of her right now. You actually wanted to wait until you two had more time to get used to the new situation. But you also don't want to let her go this way alone. But before you can speak up, the two sisters grab you and call for your attention. Denise accepts the interruption and when you are pulled into the kitchen by four amazingly strong hands, you look at her over your shoulder. Your eyes meet and you should be happy that she gives you an understanding smile. However, there is still a great deal of sadness in it and that bothers you immensely. Why should I wait until we get home? I can do something right now. Does it matter how much she trusts me? It matters big time on paper. But here at the lake, with this look on her face and the behavior she has shown, it may well be that you get through to her even if she has not yet gotten used to her new situation. As long as I don't put anything in her holes it should work, you think and have to grin.

When you arrive in the kitchen, you can see the back of Rachel and her slim waist moving in time with a Spanish-sounding band. For a second - or two - your eyes stick to her jeans with the red embroidery on the buttocks. Her yellow shirt protrudes just above the waistband and reveals half a centimeter of skin. When the tumult in the kitchen drowns out her music, she turns away from the sink. The big green plastic gloves look strange on her slender hands, but the red headscarf she used to roughly tie her hair back makes her look busy but casual.

"Everything fine?" she asks cheerfully over the music. Apparently it was more than a few seconds that you stared. The two girls are tugging at you and apparently want to pull out your arms.

"Yes, all right" you grin stupidly and bare your teeth. A long and detailed discussion about the relationship with your sisters and Emma would be appropriate but is neither required nor encouraged by Rachel. She just raises an eyebrow and looks at you.

"You could wear something fresh again," she says only and you look down at yourself. You haven't changed since yesterday and went to bed with Maureen in the same clothes you wared with Millie and Megan. Even your clothes for the day have not changed since yesterday. You simply forgot to change and grab the next best thing. But is it really that simple?

"Yes, uh, sorry about that. I just forgot." You rub the back of your head. Your appearance is the last thing you're worried about. Your free hand is torn off your neck and Susan pokes you violently in the stomach to redirect your attention to her.

"We wanted to cook something for you tonight," she says with bright eyes.

"So you don't have to make such an effort," says Claire. You only pay attention to the two of them with halfhearted thought. Rachel started something there. But with the two weights at your side, you can't organize your thoughts quickly enough. This is how Rachel precedes you.

"Must be tiring to take care of so many girls." She giggles a little. "You happy dog. I would also like to have such problems.” You both laugh, she cheerfully, you nervously.

"Well, I'm just not trying to break anything at the moment." Rachel looks at you and apparently understands that you didn't just refer to the two Rottweiler on your legs.

"If what Emma told me about you and your sisters is true, you could stop taking showers and still drown in pussies." You just roll your eyes. Even if two girls try to **** you to the ground and do everything possible to get your attention, you don't miss the evaluating look with which Rachel looks at you for long seconds. She has a knowing smile on her lips but her eyes are distant and clear. You also have such a look when you examine the lives of your loved ones to make sure that everything is fine.

"Believe me, pussies are not my problem. The worry of disappointing someone is more likely."

"I recognize that," says the girl at the age of twenty, and her eyes move to the two McKinleys, who don't behave like eighteen and nineteen at all. "Good attitude" she then only says and nods to you. Apparently you've just passed a test that you didn't know existed.

You and Susan and Claire agree on a dinner that they can prepare without problems without lighting the kitchen. It is as if the Pope canonized someone, so much the two are looking forward to cooking for you... the group. The mouth of Rachel twitches slightly as she watches the other two girls and how you compliment them out of the kitchen.

"You just can't say 'no', can you?" You think for a few seconds but then decide on the answer from your heart. Even if you don't know how it is received, honesty is what keeps your friendships together. So why not here?

"It's not that" you just say.

"Then what is it?" Her gaze is as sharp as a scalpel and cuts off you layer by layer.

"I don't know. It just happened. I won't blame the girls for me not wanting to hurt them.” Rachel Herta cocks her head slightly to one side, looks you over for a few seconds, and then clicks her tongue.

"Good answer Lynchwood, you old pervert.” With these words - apparently satisfied with your answers - she turns back to the sink and cleans glasses with her strange gloves. You watch her for a while, spellbound by the side you just discovered on her. She didn't look that crazy to you right now. You want to go out of the kitchen when Rachel turns around quickly.

"Hey" she calls after you and you drive around to her a little too quickly, which of course she notices. A strand of her deep brown hair sticks to her face. "I can imagine that you are coming short a bit on your math." You only shake your head, but it is not a convincing lie and it was not deliberately hit. You now doubt that Rachel would miss it if you mess with her. Behind the jittery and wildly dancing facade is a sharp mind that is just focusing on you. "If you want to let off steam, just get in touch with me."

"Let off some steam? What do you mean?” You take another step into the room but are held back by her almost mocking laughter.

"Certainly not what your overheated brain is thinking. Here…” She comes up to you and stands in front of you. Then she turns slightly to the side and raises her gloved hands up. She stretches her hip towards you. "Reach in?" Your eyes almost fall out of your head but you still manage to pull yourself together. "My cell phone you ****" grins the Latina in front of you with her fiery charm. Your hands only shake slightly when you reach into her tight pocket and pull out the smartphone. "The code is six-nine-six-nine," she grins, pulling a superior face. "Oh, are we going to blush?" she then whispers. Damn it. This is her actual code, you are amazed when you unlock the phone. The display photo shows Rachel in her already known bikini. She lounges on the shore with joy. She must have taken the photo at the lake. You just look at her speechless.

"And what now?" you just ask and wouldn't be surprised if the crazy Mexican-born girl started to spook fire or float in the air.

"Well, what now?" she asks rhetorically. "Give me your number." You can't even think of contradicting her. Then you put her cell phone back in her pocket and Rachel moans so loudly that the girls in the room next door have to hear it. "Oh yes, deeper. Put it in deeper."

"Shit" you mumble perplexed and experience a cheerful and amused laugh, which is also loud and haunting. In a few hours, you will definitely like her behavior, but now you just have to make an effort not to bleed from the nose. Rachel, on the other hand, turns back to the dishes. "By the way, I took a picture of you and your boner on the beach, doesn't that matter to you?"

"Uh..."

"If you hurt Emma I will print it out and distribute it throughout the school." Her voice is cheerful and she doesn't even look at you. But for you, this open-minded threat is the best thing that can happen to you.

"I'm glad that Emma has such a good friend" you just say and leave the kitchen.

"And I'm glad that she found such a good dude. Your sisters will see it the same way. Oh and Finn?” Again you come back to the kitchen. Now Rachel has a really sly smile. "And don't think just because you put something in me means that I spread my legs for you."

"Don't worry, I have Emma for that." You can just avoid the wet washcloth and leave the laughter in the kitchen together with the music and a very interesting encounter.

---

It takes a few more attempts to convince the McKinleys that you are especially happy with them. After thanking them a few more times for not having to take care of your food today, you three notice something.

"We still need ingredients. We have almost nothing left, ”Claire mumbles and looks at her feet.

"The way you slaughtered our supplies this morning it doesn't surprise me." You notice that this comment clearly affects the two of them. "But it was also worth it," you say and cheer up the two again. Then you look around the room. "Where's Denise?" This question seems to have been of concern to you lately. The two sisters show you the way out. You sprint up the stairs and find your little sister in your room. She is lying on the tousled bed with her headphones in her ears and playing any of these idiotic games on her smartphone. You kiss her on the head quickly and look at the bed. Rachel is right. You already have enough to do with your girls than to worry about the order in your room. You're frowning something and Millie notices. She pulls the headphones on the cables from her head.

"What is it?" she wants to know cheerfully and purrs contentedly when your lips meet her hair. You swiftly tear off the old shirt from your upper body, quickly spray yourself with deodorant and bend down to your suitcase to look for a new shirt.

"Nothing" you answer hastily and somewhat absently. Only when you feel her body against you do you concentrate on her. "Rachel said a few interesting things." You kiss your little sister on the mouth and gently stroke her cheek. Her eyes always look particularly shy when her tongue runs over her lips to absorb your taste. You look around the room. "I'm going to Denise now."

"Good idea. Thank you for taking care of her.” Millie hugs you again and you put your arms around her petite body.

"Tell me, can you do me a favor?" you then ask somewhat embarrassed.

"Everything" is the simple answer, which should no longer surprise you, but still makes you shiver with love for this being that trusts you so much. Still, you bite the tip of your tongue when you speak to her.

"Can you ask Megan to tidy up the room with you? And maybe sorting things into the closet?” It is not just a little uncomfortable for you to ask your sister for something like that. Millie has rarely heard such requests from your mouth. Still, she doesn't look serious.

"Oc course. What's the matter?” You struggle with yourself for a few more seconds.

"It's not you or Megan," you say to take Millie out of debt. "If I take care of Denise today and tonight you, Megan and Emma, I hardly have time to keep the room in order for you.

"Oh, I see." Your princess' face lights up when she realizes that she can help you. "Do not worry. When you come back everything will be fine here." She presses herself against you and shows you in her cute and innocent way that you don't have to blame yourself. There are just very small stitches that you set yourself. Maybe that's one of the sacrifices you have to make to make the girls happy. You say goodbye to Millie and, with mock rigor, oblige her to stay on the bed for at least half an hour and relax. Then you go down.

Maureen is lying on the deck chair on the terrace where you too had closed your eyes before Denise 'reached out' for you. She seems to be sleeping and so you decide not to disturb her. Nevertheless, you still have to talk to her today and buy some clothes. You cannot resist staring at the body that is presented on the furniture in front of you. You are a little unsure, you do not know what the future holds for you two. But seeing that Maureen feels safe enough to close her eyes and, it seems, let the stress she feels dissipate makes you happy. Then you see Denise crouching in the grass a few meters away. She has her back to you and seems to be very interested in the green under her feet. Another moment when you realize that it will be difficult for you to make all of your loved ones happy. But what is the alternative? Do your best as they know you. You can't do more.

You step quietly next to the girl. She already has several tufts of grass in one hand and plucks it out of the ground with the other. She crouches on tiptoe with her knees pulled close. Maybe a protective stance. Injured animals do the same. You put a hand on her shoulder and she is so shocked that she loses balance and lands on her bottom with a surprised squeak. She looks up at you with her eyes wide and you have to put your hand over your mouth so as not to give her the impression that you are laughing at her.

"H-Hey" she stutters. Her fingers are green from the traces of the grass and some of it is on her clothes.

"Hey" you grin. "May I sit down with you?" The question seems to confuse the girl.

"Uh... I thought you decided that..." she mumbles, looking between her feet, which stretch out on the cool grass. The sun is gaining strength and as soon as it reaches its peak, it becomes quite uncomfortable in the open field.

"Right. Excuse me," you say and don't know how you sound. Yet you let yourself sink in the grass next to her. You look at her, which seems to make the girl uncomfortable. She looks away and worried furrows run through her face. No wonder, given the information she received this morning.

"It's nice for Susan and Claire to cook for us tonight," Denise murmurs. Rather out of embarrassment or the urge to say anything.

"Yes. It helps me to better manage my time on the people who need it.” Her eyes widen at first and hope fills them. But then something dies in her and it hurts to recognize it. Nevertheless, she is brave and fights a smile on her face that could not fool anyone.

"I'm happy for your sisters and Emma. And it's nice that Maureen is back.” Then her head sinks even more onto her chest and she has no power to pull the grass out of the ground. "Luckily you were there for her." Then she snaps up and again shows her false **** grin. "She's really lucky to have someone like you." Shit... Come on. You have no other choice. She deserves the way she fights.

"Everyone needs someone in their life to point the way." Denise nods sadly. For her, it must feel like you must have dropped her after Maureen came back. The two made the same mistakes, but your big sister got you. "And I said I'm here for you." She looks at you a little incredulously, can't understand what you're saying. You get up, tap off your cargo pants and stretch out your hand to the girl crouching in front of you. "Come" you flute and wave your hand. Denise still doesn't believe what happens. "I told you I would take care of you. I do that now. You have been waiting long enough.” Your smile helps her, but she still looks at you in disbelief. "Do I have to give you the order first, young lady?" you ask sternly. It hurts a bit, but Denise shakes her head and holds out her green-stained hand to you. She gasps in surprise as you pull her up and look at her. She is wearing tight-fitting black nylon pants that end at her shins, white sneakers with half socks and a light white blouse. She is not very daring and the fabric does not show much of her skin. You are happy to see that she no longer gets so sexy.

"Where are we going?" she asks as you turn away from the house.

"No idea" you laugh and look around. Then you point in the direction. "Along there." The confused thing still stops and is clearly trying to understand why you are now showing interest in her, even though you have so many other, not so broken, girls. "Do not think. Obey ”you grin and grab her hand. "You want to spend time with me, don't you?" You are almost afraid that you will drive poor Denise into a state of shock. But then she nods, shakes, and wants to say something, but only squeezes air out of her lungs. On the second try, she manages to formulate a hoarse 'yes'. "Then stop worrying. I think for you and you enjoy spending time with me.” Dear God Lynchwood just don't mess this up! Then you pull Denise after you and it takes a few meters for her to catch up with you.

---

You have a rough direction in mind and lead the girl to the lake. But instead of going towards the city, you are going the other way. If you remember correctly, the forest here becomes denser and then ends in a large field where Megan and Millie used to play hide and seek with you in the past. You loosen your grip on the small hand and notice with satisfaction how fingers cling to yours to prevent that. She stiffens a little when you put your hand around hers but then holds on tight. The two of you march on wordlessly and you make sure to adapt your pace to the shorter legs of your current person of interest. She seems to be enjoying the silence and is relaxing more from minute to minute. Your closeness seems to do her good and you write a note in your mind that it is a good way to prepare Denise for the confrontation with herself.

While she seems to enjoy being able to walk alongside you and just have someone holding her hands, it rattles in your head like an overheated supercomputer. It is your job to always be one or two steps ahead of her life and at the moment it leads you into dark realms. But there is no way out of this dilemma, even if Denise certainly wants it. At the moment she is just happy, but maybe she guesses what will come. In any case, she laughs at your joke, you would soon smell like fried bacon because of the sun and attract wolves. She sticks even closer to you.

You are also right with your foresight when the forest clears and the dirt road leads outside. High yellow-brown scrub extends knee-high over several hundred meters on both sides of the path. An apple grove begins on one side a few meters away. The fruits on the trees are not yet ripe, but the branches offer you enough shade when you have arrived in the middle of the area and realize that it is much too hot for the way back. You decide to take a break. So far from the city and the tourists, it was probably not considered necessary to put benches on the side of the path. What suits you in one way, you don't want to repeat the adventure that you experienced with Megan with the injured Denise, but on the other hand, you want to make sure so you look around a little dazed. When a drop of sweat runs down your neck, you decide that it's enough and lead the young woman into the meadow. A few dozen meters away from the path you sit down on the trunk of a particularly wide-spreading apple tree. The grass is high enough to block your view and only the dry yellow of the undergrowth and the blue of the sky can be seen. It is a welcome side effect that so Denise feels isolated from the outside world and hugs you without asking questions or causing bad feelings. But as much as you and mother nature do to make her comfortable, you still have to drive through her life with the adoring effect of a flamethrower.

"Tell me, Denise, how do you imagine your life after this vacation?" No matter how neutral you ask this question, the girl at you is increasingly stiffening and clinging to you with trembling fingers.

"You meant that I shouldn't worry about it." Therefore, we are now changing the subject. And I never go home anyway. And nothing bad will ever happen to me again. She doesn't have to tell the words for you to hear them.

"That is what I said. I also said I would take care of it for you.” Still, you would have liked Denise to give you at least an okay for your plan. You are actually a stranger who interferes in her life. "I want you to go to the police and report your brother first when we get home." As expected, this has a destructive effect on the girl. First, she tries to negotiate.

"Is that necessary at all? I mean, nothing happened and it was consent." You have to hurt both of you by shooting this argument. Her brother let her be abused. Took advantage of her and apparently even made money from her suffering. Then she tries it with the argument that nothing can be proven. You respond that it is still necessary. She is getting weaker and weaker and you can see that it takes almost all of her strength to face this issue. As you take apart her argument that she can hardly remember anything, you are feverishly considering how you can strengthen her to get through this. Of course, you will play a big role in this and you already have the permission of your important people. But still, it scares you almost to **** to hold this life in your hands.

"I have you now," Denise says hopefully. "Why do I have to change anything at all?"

"Because your brother won't stop." Shit! Does she have the strength to live in a house with him? What happens if they don't lock him up? Through your father, you know how often an accusation like this is dropped.

"I saw how you dealt with this Josh. You are cutting my brother into little pieces.” Her voice sounds cheerful, but her face lacks any shine.

"Damn Denise, should I protect you all your life?" But that's what she wants. You can see it clearly and now you know the reason why she chose you.

"I trust you, Finn," she murmurs, pressing her body closer to yours. "You are there for me if it is nobody else. When Millie told me what she felt about you and when I saw you, I knew that my brother was not like you. At first, I was angry with you for treating me like that. I thought you wanted to suppress me and Millie too. But then I saw who you really are. I always do everything wrong and I always fail. I'm only good for fucking and Nate knew that. But I didn't have to do anything with you and you still listened to me." There is nothing you can do about it. While Denise is talking, you put your arm around her shoulders and hug her tightly. It is an instinct that you cannot suppress. Throughout your life, you never had to ask yourself whether closeness to a girl is right. Your sisters always enjoyed it when you were there for them. Denise should live this life too. Everyone should live this life. But it just does not work and so the world chose a different way for Denise Van Buren, provided her another brother. It is unfair and the question of whether you should do something no longer arises. The only thing left to clarify here is what you can do. You have already gone too far, the young shivering body on yours is proof of this.

"Denise... I won't leave you behind."

"I know. You are not like that" you hear the voice next to you. "But what should I do? I have no experience with such things.” She buries her face in your shirt. "I want it to just stop. I want to be with you. I feel good with you.” It hurts to hear these words. And it hurts even more to have to answer them. But you owe it to her.

"What you feel is not real. I'm just an anchor for you. I like to be. But you want to be near me because you think you need a man to tell you what to do.”

"That's right though." Refusal again. "I could only get this far because you took care of me." You painfully contort your face. It was clear that she would bind herself to you this way after everything you told her.

"But I'm not the solution. You have to face your problems. You have to punish your brother and his friends for their behavior and dealing with you."

"But I don't want that at all" she sniffs and looks at you from your chest. "I like it so best. You take care of everything and I…” She breaks off, notices her mistake.

"And you can fuck with me?" You puff in exasperation and at a loss. "What am I for you? I stand by you, yes. But you heard what was discussed at the breakfast table... more or less. You know I'm with my sisters and Emma. What do you expect from me?” Denise only sees you and it is clear what she wants. "Shit Denise, you can't. It’s dangerous enough with them alone.”

"But…"

"No. You have been abused!” Now you get angry. Not at Denise, it's not in your DNA. At the world that created her. At the brother who didn't do his fucking duty. At her parents who are either stupid, arrogant or blind. At the teachers and friends who should have seen something. There were so many opportunities. Meanwhile, Denise starts crying on your chest. Of course she does. And of course you put your hand on her head. You lean your back on the tree trunk and like on the evening when it all started, the girl cuddles on you. You talk to her more calmly, hoping to somehow get through to her. "You don't love me Denise" you mean.

"I do not know. But I don't know if I'm not doing it either.” That is her first conclusive thought today and it also reflects your world. But you can't tell her that. Perhaps you are also weak, but in any case you have not yet fallen so mad as to target a victim of ****. What saves you destroys her life. "Why else would you care about trash like me? You have so many great girls at your side. Why should you care about me? ”Again, hope flows into her voice and poisons her actions in a very sad way. "You know I do everything you say. Like Millie."

"Shit Denise, I know. But I will not sleep with you."

"But why-then-not?" she wails and tears roll down her face.

"Because you have to understand that it's not your body that I want!" Oh fuck... That wasn't good. And Denise noticed it. No chance to undo it now.

"You... want me?" She actually takes a few seconds to absorb the information. But you are too shocked by the ridiculous stupidity you just did. "You said you want me." She lifts her head and looks at you enthusiastically.

"Sssssssssshit..." Now it is your body that becomes cold as ice as life returns to that of Denise. "Listen, I didn't mean that."

"No matter what you meant, you said you want me." Her arms are tight around your neck and she is so happy that she doesn't think of kissing you. Just your - extremely stupid - words are enough to make her happy. A success, actually, but you'll probably end up in jail if you earn it. In any case, you will lose your soul as soon as Denise realizes what is going on inside you. Because you are not so sure about your feelings either.

Where is the line between the love you feel for Millie and the urge to be there for Denise? At first, you just did it so that she didn't suffer so much. But nobody **** you to make decisions for her or to get out here with her. And what's the difference between what you do for Millie and what you do for Denise? After all, you get together with Millie because you fell in love with her way. To her laugh and her happiness when you are there for her. The intoxication when she is grateful for something you did for her. The sacrifices you make for her to make her happy and laugh. Fuck. Actually, there's no big difference between Millie and Denise. And with that thought, you lose the hopeless battle for Denise, her desires and her soul. It wasn't a fair fight. In the simplest case, here is a sad, lonely girl with a guy who doesn't like women to suffer. The only mistake was not to recognize this simple fold. And here you are now.

"Shit Denise..." You have to start one last attempt. It's all too much responsibility. Too much at stake. Too much time. Too many girls. Too many thoughts. But you thought that too about Millie. And with Megan and Emma and Maureen. And in the end, they're all happier when you take care of them. This is also a fact, neutral and without prejudice. Each of the girls showed it in their own way... as did Denise. There is no difference. With the small difference that Denisewas fucking ****. "I can't be with you. You think it's difficult with my sisters? We have built our friendship and relationship over years.”

"But Emma..."

"Emma hasn't been **** by several boys." Okay, you owe it to the poor thing. And in hell a place is already reserved for you for sex with Millie and Megan and for polygamy. Then gladly another eternity for that now. "You are an extremely pretty, mostly very happy, intelligent, lovable, funny and sometimes also annoyingly cute girl, Denise Van Buren. Every guy can count himself lucky if he can sleep with you. But not that way. I'm just the wrong guy. I am there for you, I promise you. I will take care of you and help you now and as soon as we are back home... But I could not sleep with you knowing what happened to you. You are too valuable to me for that."

"You would f... sleep with me?" Oh, come on!

"Did you even listen to me?" You almost lose control again, this time out of sheer despair at the situation.

"Yes, I have," she murmurs and pulls up her snot. You reach into your pocket and pull out a tissue. You have always had at least one with you since the experience with Megan. As often as I make women cry...

"Believe me... we just can't be together. As much as you wish... Fuck, as much as we wish."

---

And that settles the matter. You sit in the shade of the tree for a long time. You dare to go as far as you can and caress the heat-dried cheek of the girl who has pretty much shaken your world today. You have no idea what's going on in her head, but it doesn't seem like big monsters haunting her. Maybe only small ones, or if you were particularly good, even good beings. Who knows? Maybe not even Denise. However, you are busy with another question. You don't want to face her because she is dangerous. But if today showed you one thing, it is that you too have to face your demons too. Do I love Denise Van Buren? The implications of a positive answer to this question would be monstrous.

You love your little sister Millie. With all my heart. Your middle sister Megan too. With all my heart. Emma, you also love your 'real' girlfriend, of course with all my heart. There is no other way. Maybe the reasons that make you feel what you feel are different. And sometimes, especially when you're alone with one of them, you naturally think more about her than the others. But they forgive you generously and lovingly as they are. But if you are alone in your head like now, you know that you want to be with these three girls until the end of your days. And now Maureen is in your heart in this special place. It won't be long before you will love her as much as your other girls. You often think to yourself that it cannot be. That your heart was third and now quartered and that you could love a single girl much more if there were only you two. But if you ask yourself, you know it's bullshit. It wouldn't work like this and you know that there is enough space in your life for the three... four... and then why not five? And that's the thought that's just bothering you. You have already realized that there is no real reason to exclude Denise from your life other than the uncertainty of how you feel about each other. Affection can take many forms. Who knows what this girl feels for you. No matter what she went through, there is always a chance she fell in love with you because you are a nice guy. You have no idea how big this chance is, certainly rather small, but it still exists. And unfortunately, you are also living proof that several women can fall in love with you under the craziest circumstances. You exhale in relief. Fortunately, you don't have to ask yourself this question. It was bumpy and almost ended in catastrophe, but in the end, you just made it again. Maybe it was a good thing to show her your doubts? Maybe that's why she stopped trying to jump on you. Something moves in your lap and Denise puts her head on your chest so that she can look at you with one eye, which is half covered by her strands of hair.

"What are you thinking about?" She asks dreamily and her tears are only a distant memory. She has shed enough of them in the past few days.

"On the effects of piracy in the Horn of Africa on international maritime trade" you mean and pray down a phrase that you always use to hide your thoughts. It works again and with a light giggle, Denise lies on her back on your crossed legs. Shit, you think. She looks fantastic when the shadows of the leaves move on her face. You close your eyes briefly. That mustn't blind you now. Not like her pure white skin... oh goddamn it! "And you?" Maybe her answer distracts you from your thoughts. Yeah damn, you're just a man too. Denise crosses her arms behind her head and looks at you for a long time.

"About you." Okay, that's not really surprising.

"Denise" you grumble when the girl sits up in your lap. Her body is light and flexible.

"No wait, not like that, honestly" she smiles wryly at you.

"Okay," you moan. "I'll definitely regret that. What is it?"

"I know we can't be together. I understand that.” You pay close attention to her choice of words, but neither her voice nor her facial expressions punish her words lies. Did the realization that she could be with me ensure that she no longer tries so hard to get me around? You doubt that it can be that easy. But still, you listen to her as she speaks her thoughts. That she can do that is the reason for all the stress you are causing yourself. "I don't want to be between you and Millie and your other friends. Honestly.” She lowers her head in shame. "I've done enough already." You stroke her cheek and make her look at you.

"Go on. Tell me what's on your mind.” She smiles weakly and continues.

"That you said that you like me... well... that meant a lot to me. Yes, I know," she says quickly "that I am not entitled to your affection." You can feel her hands carefully laying on your stomach. Denise frowns thoughtfully. Something important is going on in her head and just that she now has room for these thoughts is reason enough for you to forgive yourself for your mistake. "But that you are there for me means a lot to me. And I know how difficult it must be for you to take care of me."

"But it's also worth it, believe me," you try to calm her down.

"I... Finn I... I like it... like how you treat me." She looks at you uncertainly. You only look at her with an empty look, since you do not know what she is aiming for yourself. She quickly continues. "I like the way you touch me and care for me. I like not having to worry about all of it.” You yourself still have doubts about the success of this plan, but continue to listen closely. Denise doesn't seem to be sure either, but she struggles through her insecurity and you feel the success because she achieves it through you. "I like it... if you decide about me." It takes you several tries to find the right words. But Denise waits for you patiently and looks you out of bright eyes from which a conviction speaks that she did not have before.

"Emma likes that too. But also keep in mind that I can be sure of her that I won't cause her any major wounds when I'm hard on her.” You consider another second. "And I haven't been so hard on her yet."

"I don't mean that either." For a while, she wrestles with herself, slides around on you and looks long into the blue sky above you. When their eyes turn back on you, your breath jumps. Something has changed in her. "I know we can't be a couple like Emma and your sisters and you." She chews nervously on her lip and strokes her tousled hair. "But I like that you want to protect me too well. That I know that you are there for me.” Now she looks more determined and your face twitches as Denise continues to head towards her inevitable idea. "I want to be near you Finn. I want to know that you are there when I sleep and when I wake up. I want to know that I can make mistakes and still have a place where I am welcome. I know that won't work as your girlfriend."

"Denise..." Her finger pleads on your lips and brings you to a painful silence.

"Please Finn. I need it.” For a short time she looks thoughtful, almost disturbed. Then she starts again, your eyes meet and she knows. And you know it. There is no other way and you both want it. "I want to be yours. Not just with you. I want to be yours. I wish you would take care of me and be there for me. I don't have to be on the same level as your friends. I just wish I could stand by your side if I did what you told me to do." You are not convinced. Not at all. This goes too far. "I don't know any other way. But I am sure. You say I have to face my brother. I'll do it. I am so strong because I know that you are there for me. But I can only do that when I know you think for me. I'm sorry, honestly. I know I can't control my life and I'm afraid to face it alone. I don't know what else I can do. Please don't think I want to **** you. I just don't know any other way and... and I like the idea that you are there and show me how to live my life.” She breaks off and looks down, but then finds strength again. "Honestly."

It's the last sentence that stays in your head. Denise knows no other way. And you not too.

---

You don't know how it came to it. But your lips touch and Denise starts to cry bitterly after a few seconds. You hold her in your arms while she is lying on your lap. You lift her upper body towards you and she holds on to your neck with both hands. You kiss for a long time, intimately, sometimes with your tongue and sometimes without. You spend minutes in the shade of the tree and surrounded by smelling grasses kissing. The tears are is not a surprise to you. You want to give her a break but her greedy mouth only leaves yours to gasp for breath. Then she pulls you back in.

"Stay with me. That's all I need,” Denise sobs and runs her fingers over your shirt. Sweat and tears mix in your clothes but you don't notice the sticky feeling on your skin. It's like with the other girls. There is no difference between them. You are just as attracted to Denise as to everyone else. You don't care whether that's good or bad. Not even what that means for your future. Denise clings to you and once a rescue craft at night, something else is slowly becoming of you. Denise realizes it too. More and more tears roll down her face and the words she says only make sense in her world that has never grown closer together with yours than now. With every word of homage and thanks, you become more and more her scaffold on which her life can be built. You notice her change. Her body suddenly feels different, it seems to you. When you touch it, she presses it against your hands, holds you tight, lets go of you just to support yourself on your arms. "Belong to you... with me... always..." You still control yourself with an iron fist, also no different from your other girls, and pay attention to the body that changes in your lap. When Denise finally sits up again she has changed. You can see it physically. It was only through contact with you, through the spoken words and the promise of closeness that the brave girl treated her wounds and started healing. You know she still has a long way to go, but you will stand by her side. You grin at your companion with satisfaction as she brushes her hair from her face - wet with tears - and tries to look a bit presentable. You can't resist and help her tie her hair into a braid. First you turn her back to you, caress her shoulders and neck and then do your best.

"Where did you learn that from?" the girl asks giggling and her voice sounds almost as bright as at the beginning of this important vacation. You chuckle.

"With Millie. It was actually one of the first things that I learned for my sisters.”

"Oh of course... stupid question." You tickle her neck a little and make her squirm with laughter. It does not stop at this short moment and once you are done with the braid you fall over her body and tickle her for several minutes. You get a few kicks in the stomach and once in the face, but don't let anything stop you from making Denise laugh. At some point you lie together in the flattened grass, lying on your side and staring at you.

"You know I do everything for you to stay with me, right?" This time it doesn't sound so **** and you can give her a serious answer. This girl is also a challenge for you in your life.

"Yes, I know. And that honors me too. Being with me... stay with me... won't be easy. You have to be clear about that. Life with so many girls... it's the best life. I just don't know if that's what you need."

"I need you" Denise decides to go. "I do not want to lose you. And it's a simple life. I know what I have to do and I know that you are there for me."

"I'm going to make you face your fears Denise, do you understand that?" She flinches painfully but stays close and her fingers slide over your arm.

"Yes, I know. If you want me to do it. I trust you."

"You are as loyal as a dog" you giggle and stroke her head and play with her braid.

"I've always seen myself more like a cat."

“But cats don't listen to their owner. Cats are nasty and unruly beasts.” You try not to show your bias. But you had a cat back then, Napoleon, and he went on a raid through your whole house. No wonder with the name.

"Not this one, I promise." Denise turns her head towards you and shows you a confident smile. "This one is very good."

"I know. I saw that.” You kiss her on the cheek and forget for a moment the kicks in the stomach and face. At some point you sit up again and you look at the sky. The sun has almost reached its peak and burns down to the dry meadow.

"We can go back if you want," Denise says quietly and makes herself comfortable on your lap at the same time. She leans against your chest and together you stare out at the sky.

"I said I'll take my time for you" you mean and put a sweaty arm around her. Then you giggle and Denise turns her head towards you. "Well, if we came home still today I would love that. I still have to go shopping with Maureen.” Denise also smiles at you and that she leaves the other girls their place in your life is a good indication of how it might work later. "But if you still want to stay, that's okay with me too." Your arms serve her as a seat belt, blanket and source of calm.

"We can stay a little longer if you allow. I like to be close to you.” You don't answer anything, just wrap her a little stronger. Denise purrs with gusto, slides down your body and lays her head on your chest. So you sit quietly for a few minutes until her breathing has slowed down. You have closed your eyes and feel like a lion in the savannah. Together with his entrusted female in his lap, you are waiting for a large cloud in the sky or the afternoon. Then you find that Denise fell asleep on you. You suppress a giggle, you don't want to wake her up with the movements of your stomach. The last nights were certainly not very pleasant for her and she still has some sleep to catch up on.

Your cell phone vibrates in your pocket and when you pull it out you have to giggle nevertheless. Denise turns a little, moans lightly and rubs briefly over her face, but then curls up again and continues to doze. Your sisters sent you a picture. They are standing next to each other, one is holding the cell phone, the other hands are stretched out to the side. Their heads are askew and they look at you exaggeratingly questioningly. Where are you? Grinning, you lift the camera and take a photo of you and Denise on your lap. A photo comes back a few seconds later. Millie and Megan, hands clasped on the sides of their faces, heads bowed and doggy eyes looking at the camera. Oh, how sweet. Below the text: 'We miss you.' You send a kiss smiley back, look at the list of the last used Emojis and draw a pout. So much sweet stuff, your quick access is contaminated with these things. So far, you only needed three or four Emojis to show your mood. Well, just another price that you have to pay for a relationship with so many women.

---

You wait for about an hour but don't look at the clock. At some point you breathe in and out several times and wake Denise in the most pleasant way possible.

"Oh Shit" she murmurs and rubs her face.

"Alright" you calm her down. "Do we want to go back home then?" You point to the sky where a large cloud is just moving over the sun. Denise nods and sits up laboriously. When you stand next to her, she becomes shy again and draws your attention to you.

"I want to be yours," she murmurs a little sheepishly. "Will you help me make myself happy?" You wiggle your head, but the answer has already been prescribed.

"OK. Come here.” You spread your arms and Denise finds her home near you and the smell of your body.

"We will sort it out. I do what you say, then it works for you.” You are surprised to hear the words from her mouth. Even if they are dampened somewhat by your body, they still have a large load capacity.

"As long as it works for you" you just mean and look at her. She looks up at you and turns a little red in the face.

"I'm really horny," she murmurs and you amusedly draw in the air between your teeth.

"Little beast" you grin and hug her again. "You did well." By that you mean her control over herself, her desires, and words. You break off the hug and just keep standing in the tall grass. "First I show you that I am there for you without you having to undress. It will be difficult and I hope you have thought it over carefully. My girlfriends will... have difficulty holding back in front of you."

"I'll manage. I do not want to lose you."

"You will not. And you can make mistakes too. The main thing is that you are honest with me."

"Understood." You kiss her on the head again. Maybe this kind of closeness is enough to strengthen Denise so that she has her life under control. You cannot protect her forever and keep her under your wing. But for now, she's in good hands. You can see that when she puts your arm around her, only then asks you for permission and is very satisfied with your answer. Arm in arm you walk slowly back to the house.

Now you have created another challenge. Since Millie and Megan said 'yes', you have plunged into battles and started missions that could be very stressful for you later. You have so much energy, but will it stay that way forever? But the alternative would mean that you drop someone who relies on you. This way is definitely the better one. And Denise encourages you with her touch and tries to talk about something other than her feelings for you on the way home.

---

• Give me an L! Give me an I! Give me a K! Give me an E!