Yoga at The Lakeview Patio

Sam walked with purpose down the path toward the lake to reach in his first activity in time. As he made his way through the center of the camp, he found himself in middle of a flesh-peddling bazaar: Men and women of all shapes and sizes crossed through camp to get from one place to the next in various states of undress. Some campers were clearly uniformed and did their best to push through the crowd, while other would stop to chat or quickly cop feels on each other.

As he neared the stage, he saw one lanky, shirtless man's hand completely cup a woman's tit and give it a squeeze as he walked by. The woman, a pale redhead, made it two-three steps before it even registered on her face that she'd been felt up: When she turned around, rather than giving the guy a piece of her mind, she walked back started chatting him up.

Wading through the crowd, he caught dozens of women (and at least a couple of dudes) checking out his bulge. Tempted as he was, he knew the rules —you have to be where you're supposed to be: Given how well things were going, he would have to be an idiot to give this gig up over the first girl to pinch his ass or tug on his junk.

On the other side of the bustling crowd, he found the sign he was looking for: Unfortunately, not only were there both "Lakeview Patio" and "Lookout Point" marked on the sign, but they were in opposite directions!

Sam hooked a left toward the "Lakeview Patio." He thought that sounded like the kind of place where people might meet for yoga. He walked up a sloping path through some trees, coming out at clearing near the top of the hill. The patio had been into the side of the hill overlooking the lake, which sprawled out before him for miles. He could see the shore opposite the camp, but it looked far off; definitely too far to swim.

The camp's natural beauty served as only a momentary distraction. Directing his attention to the patio itself, he found 11 campers; four male and seven female. Many, especially the girls, wore black yoga pants, which looked surprisingly normal until he realized most of the girls wore them so tight they may as well have not been wearing any clothes at all. Each person was standing, facing the lake, with their feet set on either side of a neon-colored yoga mat.

Facing them was their "yogi" for the day, a 30-something woman with long auburn hair pulled back in a ponytail wearing a similarly revealing one-piece unitard. Her ass and tits bulged out like four melons pressed against the side of a full plastic bag.

The counselor turned to greet Sam, clearly surprised by his arrival. "Oh, well hello there!" The counselor said. "We were just about to start so come on over and grab a mat."

Sam smirked when he noticed how her lips made a noticeable "O"-shape whenever she pronounced her long, drawn-out Minnesota O's. Sam walked over and grabbed a mat from the stack at the edge of the patio, then rolled it out in a space towards the back of the class.

For some reason, this move caused the counselor to furrow her brow. "Well now..." She said. "You aren't properly dressed and from the way you're just standin' there without stretching or anything I'd say you probably don't have any idea what you're doing here. Have you ever even tried yoga before?"