Reality Remote (Family Guy )

In the dense cosmos of the multiverse a swirling miasma of chaos sought a new vessel for it's inspiration. It fired a thought out in an infinite amount of directions hoping for a bountiful harvest, it sought after kings and tyrants, saints and certainly sinners it's hunger as vast as it's spread. Among the many worlds it struck upon our story focused upon a small town in Rhode Island. The beam of inspiration struck a familiar home seeking a worthy target; a booze addled mutt was swiftly passed over, the mentally challenged oafs mind was barren of all thought save for classic 80s memories, the chronic masturbator wouldn't do, Meg was out cause eww but at last a massive mind in an even bigger melon fit for it's gift.

Stewie Griffin awoke with sudden vigor. Possessed he began to tear through his past creations with wild abandon knowing what pieces he needed scrapping and splicing with fervor as he followed this grand design he was certain he had come up with. This handy device would be the pinnacle of his creations that would separate him from all the other baby geniuses. After several hours he collapsed in a heap of wire and scrap clutching the intricate device to his chest, finally able to rest.

Brian awoke with the first morning rays the endless possibilities of the day stretching out before him and then promptly went back to bed.

Several hours later Brian begrudgingly crawled out from his spot at the foot of Peter’s bed his head spinning from a rough booze addled night. His feet fought him as he made his way down the hallway the little guy was blathering all night he paused to thank his word a day app for blathering best seven bucks he’d ever spent. Resting against the door he saw sparks flying as Stewie madly worked this wasn’t his first mad scientist Stewie though he watched as Stewie kept checking over his shoulder waiting for someone to walk in and marvel at what new goo-ga he had made. After letting him stew he finally walked it in as canned as possible “Gee Stewie what have you invented” his head spun as he rolled his eyes, he had a busy day of writing and talking about his writing planned and he knew that Stewie’s new thing would waste the whole day and because he lost a day he’d have to wait till the start of the next week to try again.

“Oh Brian good morning, I’m delighted to have someone to witness my brilliance-” he pushed away some of the clutter from his little work table as Brian noticed that there was a slab of metal that Stewie had been welding on just to create the sparks. “-behold the Reality Remote.” Before Brian could even ask Stewie cut him off “No its not a remote for watching Reality television, though it can also do that” he muttered no point building the ultimate invention and it can’t let him watch his favorite loud people pretend to be in love with each other or fail to sing. “This clever little device devised by your own resident Genius takes the fundamental fibers of reality and weaves them to my liking.”

To almost anyone a sense of power was emanating from the remote the toddler held, it seemed to hold too much power for any one person especially an infant but Brian wasn’t anyone. “So like-” he scratched his ear already wrapped up in Stewie’s nonsense the day ruined “-what’s it do?”

Rolling his eyes “I just told you Brian it can do anything”. Typical of the stupid dog to not know Genius when it was bragging right in front of him. Repeating his well rehearsed line a bit slower this time ”This device takes the fundamental fibers of reality and weaves them to my liking”.

Brian’s eyes glazed over as he thought of something clever to say “What are you blathering about Stewie?”

“Don’t do that, don’t flex your big bad vocab you got from an app that still has ads after you pay for it. What I hold here can make my greatest wishes come true behold.” he turned to his beloved Rupert and pressed a button the tip of the remote glowed briefly as the changes befell Rupert. After a moment of waiting “Well what’ya think?” Brian looked at the toy then backed to Stewie not just unimpressed but unaware of what he did, Stewie quickly checked and sure enough the remote was set so any changes wouldn’t be retroactive Brian was just being dumb. “You simpleton I changed Rupert, he was an Autumn and now he’s a Winter now our makeup will harmonize all the better.”

“Alright Stewie” he drawled out “Have fun with your pretend remote maybe you can use it whip up someone who cares.” Brian turned to leave as Stewie leveled the remote.

“Oh well then perhaps you should try this on for size.” and pressed down.