He made the dullard leagues brighter.

The beam shot out and the fog began to clear in Brian’s mind his intellect raising with each passing second he had skirted under the bridge of average intelligence but now he found himself on level footing with the self-proclaimed angel. This took a moment though Stewie would want to brag and almost worse drag him back down. He had but a few seconds to plan before it became suspicious. “I’m sorry Stewie did you say something.” he turned too far from the remote to snag it.

“Feeling any different Brian” the tyke smirked. Brian let out a small sigh and stepped a bit closer shrugging. “Hmm perhaps another hit will do you, you were my guinea dog mayhaps it has its limitation.” laughing under his breath whatever trepidation Brian once had subsumed at the insult. Stewie pressed down and the gap between his intellect and Stewie shrunk even further. Brian paused thinking carefully on his words to keep up the charade of the idiot he once was.

“Hmm I’m just not feeling any different Stewie maybe give it another shot maybe you made the door frame smarter.” Stewie laughed and fired again.

“Well we can’t have that now if I made it any smarter you’d have no one on your intellectual level to talk with.” he laughed even louder at his own joke failing to notice Brian growing all the closer practically looming over him.

“Did you put in fresh batteries?” he asked counting down each second; first Stewie pauses to question if that was possible, second he tells himself that it was preposterous, third second he decides to check just in case and finally fourth. Brian swung his foot forward the second Stewie looked down to check the remote aiming for a bare spot without buttons it flew up as his foot followed through flicking Stewie’s nose. He shot his left hand out as the remote landed squarely in the palm “Nope batteries seem just fine given what I can surmise.” he took a quick scan of the remote if the claims were true then it should in theory have what he sought. Stewie lunged at Brian furious at being fooled when the dumb dog thumbed a button, suddenly the furthest wall was inches from his face the momentum carried him hard into it.

He turned nose bleeding and rushed after him keeping low this time, speed was on his side sweeping Brian’s leg. It was gone and his foot struck at the side of his crib his toes making an unpleasant noise, Brian was on the other side of the room leaning against the wall admiring Rupert. “You’d think a self-proclaimed genius would realize a dog’s natural colorblindness would struggle to notice that you shifted your stuffed animal’s hair color two tones darker.-” It was inevitable but he had to try Stewie rushed him again throwing his shoe out trying to catch him off guard but then in a flash he was now in front of his thrown shoe right before it struck him. “- of course it’s a common misconception that dog’s see in gray or black and white while in reality we just struggle with red and green.” Brian sat atop Stewie’s diaper changing station casually tossing Rupert up and down. “Is it starting to set in or do you need to kick your butt some more?” Brian laughed thoroughly enjoying the pause and play feature.

“Alright Brian let’s calm down a bit, you see my remote works wonders look at how bright it made you. Surely we can come to an understanding between two intellectuals.” pathetic groveling from someone who knew they were beat, he’d acquiesce to his request be robbed, punished and have this opportunity stolen.

“Yes yes of course let’s get me back to dumb and you back to being smart.” He tapped a central button curious what Menu would do. A user interface sprung up before Brian’s eyes like a cling film exquisitely printed upon, he turned his gaze from Rupert to Stewie noticed an outline jump from one to the other as a series of new options appeared. It seemed that the remote had an array of buttons upon it that acted as a shortcut for options in the menu but within he had greater access to a greater range and the capacity to set conditions on said changes. He ran through until he found where the intelligence option was. “Maybe I’ll just swap our intelligence Stewart, I’ll be brought down to a simpleton and you’ll be elevated to heights you can’t even imagine exists.”

“Brian I think your mistaken I only increased your intelligence if we swapped you’d still be fairly smart.” he inched a bit closer with his growing mastery of the remote and destroying most of his devices to make the remote there’s little he could do to present a challenge.

“Oh my apologies I’m getting ahead of myself- “ pressing enter the beam shot out homing in on Stewie to apply the changes, Stewie’s head felt like it was being hollowed out as he lumbered forward his legs tripped and stumbled as each step became more difficult. “-now your a simpleton your mind brought down to match the rest of you” Brian hopped off the changing station and sauntered up to Stewie who found that his anger was shifting to the nice doggy he liked to pull the ears on to his feetsies that were making walking hard. Unable to lift his bulbous head he fell to his knees and started to crawl forward. “But don’t worry little guy I added some modifications to make the experience more fun for one of us.”

While Stewie struggled to tell a clock from a cookie Brian’s new brain was awash in a swarm of details forming new patterns and practices aware that he had a few moments for the next few steps of his plan. He scooped up the pacified Stewie wiping the blood from his nose and set him down in his crib handing him Rupert, just as he finished Lois walked in. “Good morning my little sunshine are ya hungry?” Stewie lit up at the sight of his mommy as she sat him down in their rocking chair, she gave him a kiss on the forehead as he pawed at her shirt “Oh my someone’s hungry today” she began to unfasten her shirt waving Brian to give her some privacy. Respectfully Brian closed the door remote in hand as she started to feed Stewie. Brian stared through the door a series of changes making it transparent to him and only him. While he enjoyed the sight of his Aphrodite Lois’ breasts the look of horror as Stewie’s intelligence returned for a brief instance as he was made to do what he found to be horrid.

Stewie pulled himself free in a fury “Brian you son of a b-” he coughed “you stupi-” his head was getting woozy as it dawned on him what was happening “You doo doo head” he cried out as Lois returned him to her breasts. Don’t worry Stewie you’ll figure it out, Brian thought just need to hope she doesn’t switch to formula.

He reset the door not wanting to walk into it by accident and then slid down the banister elated by this sudden change but he had a busy day ahead of himself, Stewie had “ruined” his day of writing so he’d have to make up for it. His new intellect was enveloping the remote eager to see what the two could do together and it already had some plans in mind. He swung into the sun room knowing he’d find privacy as most people forgot they even had it and admired his reflection. The years of below average intellect and subpar wisdom had taken their toll with interest and it was time to rectify that.

He began first by carefully changing his age, he’d maintained the setting to keep the changes from not being retroactive let everyone think him a dog in his autumn years it didn’t matter to him as he turned back the dial to his youth. Still fully matured his body felt fresh joints no longer aching, a liver that hadn’t ever had a taste of **** and a libido ready to go on the prowl. His fur shifted from a graying white over to the white of freshly fallen snow. Back to his prime he set about making some changes, some muscles to keep him moving, clearing out his hangover and after checking to see that he was alone and no one was around to see him be vain change his lipstick tube into a full on push pop.

Brian marveled at the new and improved Brian, his senses clearer he could take in the smell of fresh dew upon the grass, the squeaks and creaks from Meg’s room as she made her way through a six pack of hot dogs and tasted a very exciting future.

Stepping out of the sun room it was time for some fun.