No, not even a little bit

A look of disgust flows across my wife’s face, before she answers, “No. I don’t want to see your penis.”

“I second that. I don’t want to see your penis,” Rachel adds, looking a little nauseous that her story about her best orgasm got him excited.

“Stop being weird,” Ross says to Joey. “We’re just sitting around a fire, drinking bourbon, and chatting about fun stories. Don’t ruin it by talking about your dick.”

“Okay. Okay,” Joey backs off. “I’m sorry. I was joking anyway. Besides don’t yell at me! Phoebe is the one who put her hand in my lap!”

Phoebe throws her hands in the air, “I’m guilty of that! I was just seeing if my husband got excited by that story. It’s not often you hear such graphic detail about your friends’ sex life.”

Rachel blushes, turning her cheeks bright red, “I’m blaming the ****! I don’t know why I described it like that! I should’ve just said it happened in Chicago last month and left the details to your imagination.”

My wife tries to consul her, “Don’t be embarrassed! I really liked your story. It reminded me of some of the smut I read. It’s Joey who should apologize.”

“I’m sorry. I fucked up,” Joey says. He slides off the chair onto his knees. Putting his hands together in a prayer he asks, “Please tell me how I can make it up. I liked the stories. I was just trying to be funny. Really. I wasn’t trying to start an orgy or anything.”

“Now it sounds like you were trying to start an orgy,” Ross says. “How about you start by having some more bourbon and shutting the fuck up?”

“I can do that,” Joey lets Ross pour some more whiskey into his glass and sits back down.

Phoebe looks at her husband sternly, “Now where were we before my husband made an ass of himself?” She then looks back at the group, “The fit hot couple had amazing oral sex in a big city hotel, satisfying themselves so thoroughly they didn’t even have penetrative sex.”

Rachel waves a hand like she’s trying to brush off the comment, “Enough about me! Ask Monica! It’s her turn to describe her sex life! And her descriptions better be smutty!”

It’s my wife’s turn to laugh embarrassed now. “Oh shit. I set myself up with that one! Okay. What do you want to know?”

Phoebe claps, “See this is fun. Hmm let’s see. What’s a sexy surprise you’d like to do for your husband one day?”