Favorable

"What. The. FUCK!" Cordelia shouted the last bit and turned to look from the very anxious and bewildered Fred to a very surprised Xander. "What did you do?"

Xander looked down at her in offense, "Me? I wasnt the one wishing. I was making sure yours were granted." Xander held up a hand for peace, "Just gimmie a sec."

"Stop time, jesus, Fred looks like she's about to have a stroke." Cordelia peered at her once and future friend, "or an orgasm?"

"I wish that Cordy and I were in a time stop protection bubble for as long as it takes to figure this out." Xander said quickly.

Looking away from a pissed off Cordy and the embarassed shirt damn near bursting open, milk leaking Fred, Xander closed his eyes and concentrated. "Anya, I wish I knew just what the hell was going on here. I wanna know how all these dominos fell." Xander pinched the bridge of his nose, "I'm saying that entirely to often."

"Well?" Cordy demanded.

Xander groaned as he had understanding, "Well there's several things all happening one after another. One is we kept changing the changes and didnt think about the effects. And when we changed wishes, we didnt take into account the fact that every wish has to 'benefit' me. Plus we ignored the fact that the Hellmouth is right here and it can warp reality depending on what happens."

"Explainy now." Cordy snapped.

"We made her dream about being a cow. Then we changed what being a cow was. On top of wishing her here because of a **** attempt. So we damaged her by exposing her to a voilent attempt on her life. We then moved her here and made her take a crappy job. So she's traumatized and abandoning her dreams of physics and instead taking a demeaning job at a high school. Plus this is Sunnydale and she's a conspiracy theorists, so she's paranoid as fuck about being here because she notices that things arent right.

"Then we get to the cow change. Its not about the terror of being worked to **** or eaten. Its about being milked like a cow. But its coming to her in dreams effected by these wishes and all wishes must 'benefit' me. So Fred has- and has had these dreams for at least five years now, apparently- a near nightly recurring dream of being a cow and being rescued and 'milked' by the dashing hero and the princess from a castle, who then live happily ever after taking care of their favorite cow. It's a sex dream she has almost every night, sometimes several times a night, and has been having it for years now. Its gotten to the point that its just about the sole high point of her day. Because the trauma of the attempt on her life has basically made her shut off contact with other people. Worse there's the fact that we are in her class and are a couple, the fact that we exist- just like in her dreams- has her freaking out and wondering why she wants to be a cow for two of her students. She's in so much emotional turmoil I'm amazed she can work this job around us and not be a jibbering mess.

"So here comes the final blow, the Hellmouth. Making shit worse. Remember the invisible girl? Marcy? Well, she got invisibility because of what she believed. She believed she was a nobdy, alone, invisible.... The hellmouth took that negative emotion and amplified it and used that idea as a basis to warp reality. And it did it in less than a year.

"Now apply that to Fred. Everything has been going wrong in her life accept for this one thing. Which is seemingly coming true. Her recurring sex dream where she has no problems and everything is perfect and nice and she's loved and adored by two wonderful people who guve her nightly orgasms... all happening a hundred feet away from the hellmouth spewing out weird mystical crap day in and day out for more than a year now."

Xander took a deep breath, "And what set this all off is you came thru the door, said what you said about cows and confirmed her most deeply wanted wish in the world is really going to happen." Xander pointed to Fred and her large round breasts seeping milk, making her blouse go from light blue to deep blue. "She didn't have tits like that this morning. See how her blouse is damn near popping open? That's the hellmouth working with our wishes and taking all her pent up want and lust and... and everything and in a flash making her dream a reality. And leaving her in a physical state to live out her dreams."

Cordelia growled. And stomped a foot. "So fix it!"

Xander looked from Fred to Cordy. "I am not going to shoot from the hip on this one, Cordy. Winging it is how we got here." He pointed at Fred.

"We cant leave her like this! We have to help her!"

"I know. I know, Cordy! But we've got to think it thru. And also try and figure out what random thing is going to happen that will 'benefit' my wish and how to counter or minimize that 'benefit' I get from wishing."

"Stop using air quotes!" Cordelia hissed at him

Xander growled back, "Cor, I know you are stressed, pissed off and a whole bunch of other things right now but it's not helping! In order to make this right we need to out think my wishes and also the hellmouth. Chaotic neutral with a sprinkling of chaotic evil."

Xander reached for Cordelia and pulled her into a hug. "We need to calm down and think things thru."

"But what about Fred?"