BTVS: Xander's Sexy Genie

"I told you I would not return your powers to you, Anyanka. And you try to subvert my decision by using a human witch to restore your amulet to you. What good did you think that would do you? You still answer to me. I could strip you of your powers again. You would get to be a former vengeance demon twice over."

"I... I thought you might be impressed my being an independent go getter."

"Very amusing. In fact your being independent is the problem. Over the past century or two the way you grant wishes has become increasingly disconnected from the actual wish. We Vengeance Demons are not meant to grant the humans their wishes that way. I think perhaps you need to learn that. And the only way I can punish you is if you are still one of mine.

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"And that's why I'm hear talking to you. Congratulations. You're now being rewarded for cheating on your girlfriend and nearly getting her killed."

Xander looked down at Anya, the teenager who was apparently a thousand or more year old demon who could grant wishes and had helped bring a vampire Willow into town last week.

"So your demon boss has decided you have to be my personal genie from now on. Suppose I don't buy this?"

"I'm bound to you. I'll just hang around you until you make a wish by accident and grant them. "

"Ok, so how many wishes do I get?"

"As many as you want.

"Are they monkey's paw type wishes? What are the rules, what are your limits? There were limits in Aladdin."

"They're the exact opposite of monkey's paw wishes. They're designed to be surprisingly in your favor. I don't have much in the way of limits. I probably can't just wish away one of the Old Ones, I'm not really familiar with their power. And I can't raise the dead as living beings, but my ability to manipulate reality can over come that. Are you going to make a wish or keep wasting my time asking questions."

"OK, let's see what you've got. I wish Cordelia would forgive me for cheating on her."

"Typical man. Can't accept the consequences of your actions. Wish granted."

"Xander, there you are. I was looking all over for you." Cordelia suddenly jogged up besides them where they were sitting in the quad talking, with Anya somehow keeping people from paying attention to them. Cordy grabbed his arm and pulled him up. "Come on, we need to talk in private."

Xander allowed himself to be dragged into the nearest supply closet. "Hey, Cordy. Uh, what's going on here."

"Xander, you and I need to talk. We have to set some ground rules for our relationship."

"We still have a relationship?"

"I... hope we do. I know I've been a total bitch to you since I saw you kissing Willow. But damn it I didn't know you wanted an open relationship. If you get to make out with hot girls so should I!"

"You want to make out with hot girls."

"Yeah I do. And when I do it, you have to watch!"

"Told you the wishes were in your favor." Anya smiled a little as she teleported in and made Xander jump but then scowled.