A little test

"There is always a catch." Xander mumbled to himself. "It's the Hellmouth. There is always something that's going to go wrong. I don't know what it is or where it is but something somewhere is going to go wrong."

Xander palmed his face. "Buuuut, having said that... that's no reason not to at least try." He looked at the now totally in love with him and eager to please Anya and made a mental note not to wish for something without thinking it thru first. That could go bad so quickly. "And certianly don't try it on myself."

"Master?" Anya asked not hearing his mumbles.

Xander shook his head. Bowing his head in thought he wondered exactly what he should do. Or rather wish for. The idea of resurrecting someone they'd lost was a good one. But Hellmouth paranoia made him wary. He didn't want anything to go wrong with someone he cared about.

So he needed a guinea pig. Just in case it went wrong. So who wouldn't he mind maybe sorta not reviving? And in what way? Preferably something that was easily explained away. Without causing suspicious minds to pry into his business.

"Huh." Xander canted his head as he chewed on the thought. Now how to word it? He turned and looked at Anya, "I wish that anyone alive or dead or undead who was aware of magic and all this stuff never ever got suspicious about us, wishes or anything thats connected to whats going on."

Anya smiled serenely, "Of course Master. Your wish is granted. Anonymity is a Vengeance Demon's best friend."

"Great." Xander gave her a thumbs up.

He returned to thinking over who to resurrect and how to do it. The only problem he was having is the majority of people he knew that he wouldnt mind killing in a failed attempt were people who he couldn't conveniently resurrect. Hard to explain how a four hundred year old vampire was suddenly human again despite being dusted for years. The urge to hurt that bitch Darla, who had killed his best male bud Jesse, was still strong even two years after Buffy had dusted her.

Nix Ms. French the Praying Mantis monster also. Hard to walk back dismemberment.

So who.... who else had they fought and was a living human female?

Catherine Madison?

Xander slowly nodded his head. That could work. The Witch had transported herself to who knows where. They were pretty sure she was dead. But, being the Hellmouth, they weren't going to rule it out.

So how to word his wish.

Addressing Anya, Xander declared "I wish that an **** Catherine Madison was here in the room, uh closet, with us. And that she would remain **** until I say otherwise."

Anya bowed her head, "Of course, Master."

Not a second later Catherine Madison was lying on the ground between them, wearing the same outfit as the night she got caught in her own spell.

Xander hunkered down and felt for a pulse and signs or life. When he confirmed she had a pulse and was breathing Xander rocked back on his heels.

"Son of a Bitch! It worked." Xander blinked and blinked again, waiting for the woman to disappear.

"Now what do I do with her?" Xander asked himself. "Fuck. If i let her go the gang is just going to hunt her down. And she's probably still evil anyways." Xander buried his face in his hands. "Way to think it thru, Xand."

"It would take no effort to disguise her Master." Anya offered.

Xander flapped a hand at her for silence. After a minute of thought he told Anya, "I wish that Catherine Madison was no longer evil or a witch or obsessed with her youth and cheerleading."

Anya bowed her head, "Master. Your wish has been granted. Do you wish to disguise her by altering her appearance?"

"Fuck. I better." Xander grimaced, "Ok. So I wish that she looked 18 years old."

"Wish granted." Anya said as Xander stared at Catherine as she swiftly changed into her younger self.

Looking at the plain 18 year old with brown hair Xander asked, "I dont see what the big deal is? She's not much to look at." He looked at Anya, "Am i wrong? Is... that worth stealing your childs body? A completely average woman?"

Anya looked Catherine over and shrugged her shoulders. "She might not have acted out of vanity. Humans fear **** more than anything and some are willing to do anything to avoid it, even usurp their young if it lengthens their lives."

Xander ran a hand through his hair, "I guess. Still... I mean, if I don't want anyone to freak out about her... I better change her name and... her everything?" He looked at Anya, "I can do that right? Just wipe the slate clean and give her a new, erm, mind?"

"Of course Master." Anya answered. "New body, new personality, new memories, new everything if you so wish it."

"Right." Xander stared at the woman sleeping at his feet. "So what do I do with her?"

He could make her look like anyone. He could have a version of his favorite female movie stars live and in person at his beck and call, without the whole world wondering how and why they met.

Ornella Muti from Flash Gordon? Salma Hayek from Desperado? Raquel Welch from One Million Years B.C.? Pam Grier from Foxy Brown? Kelly LeBrock from Weird Science? Bo Derek from 10?

And what about tv?

Gillian Anderson from the X-Files? Christina Applegate from Married With Children? Catherine Bach from Dukes of Hazard? Linda Carter from Wonder Woman?

And dont even get started on the models...

Yeeesh. Too many choices. Xander sighed. He was going to have to think about this.