PUZZLE BOX: May As Well Have A Look

Curiosity being the whole reason he came in here in the first place, Hank reached down to pick up the little box, wiping some dust off the top with the sleeve of his jacket. He inspected the little card hanging off the box and flipped it over.

The All New Puzzle Box!
The Power To Grant The Means Of Desire
Solve The Puzzle And Receive Your Boons
Start Over And Over Until You Tire
But Run Out Of Time And You'll Make Your Own Doom

As he read over the cheesy rhyme printed on the back of the card in a cheap font, he realized the edge of the card looked like it was splitting. But prying a bit with his nail revealed that it was actually meant to open like a birthday card, the cheap coating just made it stick to itself with age.

Inside, there were instructions

1. Hold Puzzle Box Firmly While Keeping Both Hands Well Away From Top Surface
2. Picture Desired Outcome
3. Shake Box Vigorously
4. Wait For Puzzle To Settle Before Attempting Interaction
5. Solve Puzzle
6. Open Puzzle Box
7. Retrieve Boon Item To Be Used In Achieving Desired Outcome
8. Close Box And Store Near Other Boxes Or Puzzles To Prevent Loneliness And Potential Spitefulness Towards User

He did a double take of that last instruction and furrowed his brow slightly. Shaking his head at the poor attempt at humour. Then he continued to read onto the next page

• To Restart A Puzzle: Make Contact With ''Restart'' Label FOR 5 SECONDS While Keeping Hands Clear Of Puzzle Surface. There Is No Limit To Number Of Restarts
• Warning; Making Contact With Surface During Or Prior To Settling Period May Cause Unwanted/Unexpected Effects, Which May Include But Are Not Limited To: ...................................

From there, the text reduced in size to a point where Hank had no hope of ever reading it