Oh no. No no no no

"I... you... we..." Tina stammers.

This is all happening so fast.

"Y-your spanky!?" The naked, embarrassed and bewildered human asks, still not believing what's just happened.

"Yes," L'Abbee says, proud of his lover for getting so close to properly pronouncing it on her first try. He leans in for another tender kiss, but Tina pushes him away.

"I... I don't understand," Tina says as her breathing gets faster. "L-last night... I-it was just a... a one time thing, right? Spur of the moment?"

W-what have I done!? I mean, sure he's super-cute, but what would mama and daddy think?!

"What do you mean?" The dark elf asks, his ears drooping in that adorable, but sad, elven way. He is visibly hurt by her words. "We assumed the sacred position! You collared me, bred me, and marked me with your love juices!" He says as his starts to crack. "You... you even said the traditional drow words of courtship! In the eyes of the spider goddess, webbed may she be, we are bonded."

"What?!" Tina asks as she descends into a full-blown panic attack. "You mean... WE'RE MARRIED!?"

The terrified would-be warrior screams, causing her voice to echo through the pirates' cavernous hideout.