No, she can’t fix it

I grab a mostly empty bottle of bourbon and take it to the fire. I plop down in a chair and take a gulp straight from the bottle. I fucked up. There’s no fixing this tonight. My wife is pissed.

I stare into the fire and occasionally take nips. I don’t hear Joey until he sits down beside me. His eyes are bloodshot and the bottle in his hand is empty. I can’t believe he finished the rest of that alone down at the pond. The slur of his words confirm how drunk he is, “Why aren’t you fucking your wife right now?”

I’m honest. “Because I put my dick inside your wife.”

“You fucked Phoebe? Awesome,” Joey raises his hand for a high five.

“No. I literally just put the tip in,” I say. All this trouble for just the tip. I’m an idiot.

“How’d it feel?” Joey asks. I look over and he genuinely looks curious.

“It felt great,” I said.

He claps his hands, “Seriously my wife has some top notch pussy. Still as tight as the day I met her. Constant kegels. She can just milk my dick while I sit still inside of her. It’s amazing.”

Great. Now I get to hear more about Joey’s awesome sex life. Tonight was the night I was suppose to get mine back on track but I fucked it up.

The door to the house opens and I look up. Phoebe walks out and joins us at the fire. “So I did not fix it. Your wife locked the door and didn’t reply to anything I said. I think she’s pissed.”

“Chandler thinks your pussy felt great,” Joey says.

“Of course he did,” Phoebe says, brushing off her husband. “So I feel awful. This is totally may fault. I may have a better shot of fixing it in the morning when we are all sober.”

I take the final gulp of bourbon and toss the bottle into the grass. I stand up, “Welp this night is over. I’m going to sleep on the couch.”

Phoebe grabs my arm, “Don’t sleep on the couch. You can sleep in my bed. I messed up. Plus Joey is already sleeping on the couch for messing up with Rachel and he snores.

The bed would be much more comfortable than the couch. And listening to Joey snore would be awful.

But my wife might not appreciate if I slept with Phoebe, especially after she just caught me with my dick inside her.