Never Learns a Lesson

Belinda rushed off, the crossed eyes of poorly perspective painted portraits looking down upon her. The lax likenesses of those who were now spinning in their graves.

Belinda was in the library by the time she remembered she was barefoot, but she still thought little of it. She often was barefoot when she plopped down on her pillow, and her plump tummy, ass in the air, soles swinging free.

A wood box was before her eyes. It had been much more elaborate. The velvet curtains of crimson kermes had been replaced by ones of velveteen dyed with common madder. Still even the (faux) gold fringe still looked right to Belinda’s bad eyes.

Belinda was educated daily by fine tutors, but it had never taken. Instead of knowing several tongues and being adept at musical instruments, Belinda barely knew her own language and couldn’t carry a tune on a kazoo. She couldn’t read the tomes that lined the shelves of the royal library, even if they hadn’t been gutted and replaced with blank, rag paper. When it came to astronomy she knew, merely, the difference between the moon and stars (the moon was the big one, duh), and in geometry she had only mastered circle, triangle, and square.

That was all she knew or cared to know.

It was no wonder, then, that instead of polishing off her studies she was still at the lowest level, learning fairy tales, fables and folklore.

Belinda didn’t mind this one bit, she enjoyed what she called “story-time” and watching “her stories.” She didn’t even mind talking about the stories afterwards if it mainly meant she gave her opinion and was immediately praised, she didn’t like when they pressed her with questions.

Often they would replace the main character with Belinda to peak her interest.

The fine puppets had been replaced by Belinda’s old wool socks, but Belinda didn’t seem to notice.

“This is the Story of the Lady Belinda. Once there was a rich young ruler, the most beautiful in all the land. She had so many beautiful things and treasures, but always wanted more. One day she sent her finest ship filled with gold and told her captain to bring back the most precious thing in the whole world!

He sailed and sailed all over the world. Finally the ship came back after many months. The people cheered to see the ship come into the harbor. The Queen was paraded to the ship and asked the captain what he had brought back. Everyone was eager to see.”

“Wow, Belinda commented, I wonder what he’s going to bring me!”, curious to see what the goodie would be as she leaned in to get a good look.

“This!”, and a handkerchief was whipped away to reveal…grain.

“The Queen shouted, why do you bring me common grain!? I said the most precious thing in the world!”

“No shit!”, agreed the real Belinda.

“But my Queen, the puppeteer answered the real Belinda as well, for the captain said, it can make bread to feed the people! Nothing is more precious!

But the Queen didn’t listen, and had the grain dumped into the ocean. The captain begged her, saying she may need it someday. The Queen laughed and tossed away her ruby ring like a toy with the grain and told him she would need it when she got her ring back and had the captain thrown in too.”

Belinda cheered at the wrong point and the puppeteer sighed.

“But at the royal feast she was given a dish of fish, and what did she find in the fish’s mouth but her very own ring!”

Belinda gasped.

“Then a messenger came and told her that robbers had broken into her treasury and stolen all her gold! Then another followed and told her all her ships with their treasures had sunk. Finally, a third messenger informed her that all her manors, farm houses, and barns had burned down with all her beautiful gowns inside them.

When the Queen lost it all she had to go around and ask for scraps of bread in her rag of a dress that was dirty, old, and full of holes that showed off her purple panties with blue spots!”, the puppet changed costume.

“She begged the people, but they just laughed at her. She had to sell her queendom, crown, and even her undies! When it was all gone she was **** to flee to another town to live as a thin, naked, beggar woman no one could ever have guessed was once a Queen. The end!”

The curtain fell.

"It was a good story, Belinda compliment, but a silly one, it would never happen in real life!”

Belinda got up and skipped out of the royal library.