More practical than chivalrous, but whatevs

When you meet at the front doors, Morgan seems a little annoyed at you.

"Sorry," you say. "I was checking something on my phone."

"Whatever. I'm parked towards the street," she replies.

The two of you walk across the parking lot to her car. You know you're parked on the opposite end of the lot, which is a hassle, you suppose. You don't really have to walk her out, anyway. It's not corporate policy or anything. One of your managers came up with it after a regular started getting a little creepy towards some of the high school kids who work the closing shift. And part of what bothered you about it was that, for once, management had a sensible idea, and you can't really argue against it.

"You know," she says as you come up to her Honda, "I didn't have to wait for you. I didn't need you to walk with me, or anything. We were dead up until close, and there's no cars in the lot other than the night crew."

You smile apologetically. "Yeah, I guess. Maybe you're turning into a stickler for the rules. Or... maybe you're looking for an excuse to spend time with me."

She snorts again. "Yeah right. You should be looking for an excuse to be around me."

You shrug. "Yeah, maybe I should. You're a hell of a lot cooler than everyone else here. It's always nice to get to work with you."

She looks up at you, a little surprised, as she opens the door to her car. For a moment, you could swear you saw something in her eyes, like she was looking at you in a way she never had before. Of course, you're in a dark parking lot at night, and for all you know it's simply the nearby streetlight casting shadows on her pale face. In any case, just as quickly as it came, the moment fades. "See you tomorrow, Jason," she says as she starts the engine.

"See you, Morgan," you say as you turn on your heel and begin the long trek to your car. Maybe it was just your imagination. Wouldn't be the first time your mind played tricks on you. Trying to distract yourself from uncomfortable thoughts, you pull out your phone to occupy yourself for a moment, only to be confronted with that weird app again. Apparently you never closed it. But you notice something different about it. Unlike when you first opened it, there were some notifications waiting for you.

Affection Loss: Morgan -1 (Kept her waiting)

Affection Gain: Morgan +2 (Walked her to her car)

Affection Gain: Morgan +3 (Unexpected honest compliment)

Morgan Current Affection: 19

What? How the fuck did this app know what just happened? Whatever, you're cold and tired. You consider wearing a jacket to work the next time you close, a thought you've had multiple times since winter hit. You're not very good at remembering stuff like that.

When you get to your car, you quickly get in and start it up to be rid of some of the cold night air. Looking at you phone, you see the strange app is still open. Then you notice an icon with a question mark on it on the upper right of your screen. Maybe that will help explain what the fuck this thing is. You click on it, and a message pop up appears.

Welcome to the Affection Multiplier App!

Now that you have been chosen, you will receive all of the passive benefits that this app provides, enumerated below.

1. A numeric rating for several relationship categories regarding every person who knows you. Know how others feel about you!

2. Relationships monitored by this app will build significantly faster, and significantly slower. Make friends and influence people!

3. Earn Perk Gems for building up your relationships, and spend them to change yourself and others. Gain Perks to make your life easier, adventurous, and fun!

Relationship ratings are:

Affection: How much someone likes you and enjoys your company.
Love: How much someone cares about you romantically.
Lust: How much someone desires sexual relations. Unlike the other two, Lust can fluctuate wildly throughout the day.

However, there is a caveat. You cannot see someone's Love score until you somehow raise it to a positive integer. You cannot see someone's Lust score until you have a Love score of 25 or greater.

Also, this app allows you to see a person's current Wants. These are things that would make them happier at the moment; someone can have multiple Wants, and they can range from simple impulses (like a craving for a particular food) to more esoteric desires (like world peace).

As with Love and Lust scores, Wants are locked until a condition is met. Until one of a person's current Wants is fulfilled by your actions, you won't be able to see them. It can't be too easy for you, after all!

Lastly, this app allows one-time purchases accessed directly from the profile interface to permanently influence yourself and others. Remove an unwanted quirk, teach someone you like a new hobby, or even modify your or someone else's body! And don't worry about people getting suspicious about how they're suddenly changing; the app will make sure they don't find anything strange about it.

Please note that purchases are limited to a rotating selection of three choices per profile, based upon their currents wants and desires, and are refreshed daily. Be sure to check back every day to see how you can affect those around you!

And don't forget to have fun!

This seems... like a lot of bullshit. Like someone with a weird fetish coded some kind of fantasy app and then installed it on your phone. You briefly consider deleting the thing, but then a thought crosses your mind.

What if it's real?

It did accurately describe what happened between you and Morgan a moment ago. And for some reason it has a lot of details on people's personal lives. Could a magic app that makes people like you actually exist? If it's real, it sounds like this app would make your life way easier. Hell, just the fact it lets you know how people feel about you is a massive load off your mind. And what was that about one-time purchases? Intrigued, you navigate to your profile and click a small icon with a dollar sign over a heart next to your profile picture. The next screen is a short list of icons along with explanations and prices.

Easily Forgiven (400 Gems): Your relationships never due to lack of interaction, and you are easily forgiven when you wrong others. If your actions cause a loss of affection or love points, a simple apology within a reasonable period of time will restore those lost points. Try not to this, though in all fairness that's kind of what it's designed for!

Love Is All That You Need (500 Gems): As long as someone has a love score with you over 50, you no longer need to sleep or eat, though you may do so without any repercussions if you desire. You do still need to breathe, though, so don't drown or anything.

The One Every Dude Buys First (250 Gems): You have a massive penis. Yes, every guy buys this first, and you probably will too. The exact dimensions of your dick are irrelevant to someone's ability to handle you; despite your size, you'll always fit (though it may take some work) into wherever you've been invited.

There's no way any of this is possible. There's no way an app can do something like this. This is completely ridiculous, and you're an idiot for even considering that it's for real.

But looking at your choices, you think of something. Right now, you're feeling pretty hungry, since you haven't eaten since lunch. Is that why it's offering you Love Is All That You Need? And you always worry about upsetting other people when you're in social situations. Is it giving you Easily Forgiven to ease your mind? The one about having a big dick is easy, plenty of guys would want that first off. So maybe it is somehow reading your mind, and offering you choices based on your current wants and desires.

But there's no way any of them would work. You can't just edit people with a click.

Although... you've got 500 gems, and there's only one way to check, right? You've got to buy something and see what happens. So which one are you going to buy?