Chapter 4 by ffq
Which caption?
Mayim Bialik, Actual Dumbass
Mayim Bialik approached the camera. Her smart green blazer, glasses and black skirt combo had the hallmarks of a professional, but all three traits to her ensemble were undermined with just one addition. In her hand, she brandished a white mug with I <3 BRAINS on the front, the sort of novelty usually reserved for birthdays and bad jokes. Despite its stupidity, the she smiled broadly, eagerly addressing her captive audience with an annoying smugness.
"I don't just play someone brainy on TV, I'm an actual dumbass and I love the dumbass behind Neuriva Pups."
Something felt... wrong about what she said, as evidenced by a slight fall in her lips, but she couldn't place what. Past her lenses, her brown eyes glazed over into a brief glassy stare while her name appeared on screen with a parentheses caption underneath: ACTUAL DUMBASS.
Maybe seeing those words would have made a difference. Maybe it all would have sunk into her feeble mind, and she would have stormed off the set in a huff. But she didn't, and didn't. Without this aid, she lit up again into a picture of delight as she picked back up with her script.
"I also HAVE no brain, and I love the brain supplement Neuriva Pups for both of those reasons."
Following her script without a shred of thought, Mayim reached into her white blouse and fished out with the people really wanted: her boob. She placed it atop her mug, letting it rest comfortably in view, her big dark nipple poking forward as she blathered on with her nonsense.
"Unlike ordinary memory suppuppuppelements, Neuriva Pups fuels sex key indicators-"
The stammers and misspeaks went unnoticed to her, as Mayim strutted forward with a bottle of the pills she hawked and set it down. Her Freudian slips gained an added degree of power when she started tweaking her poor horny nip-nip. She really toggled it to her heart's content, pinching and rolling, while trying to maintain her cool and well-rehearsed brainiac tone.
"-to keep your brain on its toes, metaphorically speaking."
Brain on its toes? Somewhere in the deepest, darkest pits of her head, a lone neuron picked up on that strangeness. The rest of her ignored it, too occupied with another deep dark pit. She went from tweaking her tit to dipping under her skirt and rubbing her clit as she awkwardly shuffled forward. The lack of panties made this real easy.
"In fact," Mayim said, lips curling into a short frustrated scowl as she snorted and tried to reach a hard-to-fuck spot in her elusive twat, "it's their most complete formula ever, with clitically yested condiments that are dumbass approved."
Any chance of her questioning the path of this commercial had long passed. As an actress, not to mention dumbass, she had fallen into the blank slate 'just do it' mode where anything went. The script and director could tell her to say and do anything, anything at all, and it would happen.
She made this clear when she set down her mug and paused in her finger fucking long enough to rip her blouse open right on camera. Her twins hung out with the plain as day signs of her past motherly use, expressed in long veins and chapped aureoles on the shockingly enormous pair. They bounced and swayed as she tittered onward, pulling down her skirt and taking short steps while she masturbated. Only her blazer remained like a frame for her nudity. Slowly, sporting a strange limp from bending over for her sloppy cunt, she moved past a Neuriva sign and toward a giant glowing green boob display in the center of an otherwise bare room.
"So support that big beautiful boob of yours with the boob supplement that thinks bigger."
The commercial ended in much the way it began: with a close-up on the dumbass. Where it changed was her demeanor. No longer feigning smarts, Mayim succumbed to her tits and pussy, focusing wholly and completely on playing with herself. The camera meant nothing to her now, her moans and O face taking up the entirety of her screen presence. She shuddered after an orgasm that shook her whole rack. The impending loss of their spokeswoman to a tiring climax required a quick cut to a final product card featuring the pills, the brand name, shops and a voiceover from Mayim prerecorded for just such an event.
"Neuriva: think bigger."
What's next?
- No further chapters
- Add a new chapter
Disable your Ad Blocker! Thanks :)
FFQ Caption Collection
Celebrity and original captions by FFQ
A collection of captions written by FFQ, featuring celebrities and original characters, which anyone can continue if they choose
- Tags
- Felicia Day, celebrity, viewer feedback, cosplay, performance, brooke jenkins, political, politics, celeb, stripper, pole dancing, prostitution, failure, nancy mace, politician, body writing, liar, public exhibitionism, public nudity, piercings, public display, Jessica Chastain, reshoots, NASA, astronaut, demotion, humiliation, public humiliation, cum, bukkake, addict, musician, rock band, financial domination, downgrade, Alison Pill, assistant, personal assistant, bondage, bdsm, anal, anal sex, strap-on, lesbian, lawyer, law, district attorney, prosecutor, homeless, trapped, cuffed, zip ties, spanking, butt plug, dirty, anti homeless architecture, public use, Lillian Holley, history, historical figure, sheriff, caption, original, rock n roll, broadcast, mind control, guitar, shredding, 1980s, 80s, mothers exposing licentious filth, mooning, gun moll, police, criminal, alternate history, crime, downfall, stripping, wanted, fake, Olympics, athletes, professor, basketball, sports, cheerleader, mascot, female professor, tattoos, flashing, degradation, boob puppetry, boob play, bimbo, professor to student, Allison Stokke, Michelle Jenneke, Ivet Lalova, runners, celebrities, pole vaulting, pole vaulter, Amanda Beard, Kara Lynn Joyce, orgasm, loser, losing, swimming, swimmer, cowgirl, old west, wild west, female sheriff, exhibitionism, nun, corruption, whiskey, smoking, religion, cigarette, sinning, sin, barbarian, unwashed, fantasy, tavern wench, stench, warrior, adventurer, female barbarian, smell, muscle loss, defeated, ranger, park ranger, nps, national park service, nps ranger, oblivious, twerking, naked, nipple piercing, piercing, hairy, armpit hair, sweaty, hot, big ass, statues, inanimate objects, trapped spirit, spirit trapped in statue, Ludovica Albertoni, orgasm denial, statue, religious statue, blasphemy, Cecilia Gaetani dell'Aquila d'Aragona, modesty, political figures, politicians, Liz Mair, consultant, journalist, commentator, Karen Fukuhara, gangbang, advertising, advertisement, promotion, hair job, ball gag, cum on face, streaming, oral sex, Weijia Jiang, reporter, Mandip Gill, actress, Katy Tur, eating cum, reality change, reality alteration, name change, Imogen Heap, singer, music, Cassandra Naud, Kayleigh McEnany, press secretary, dancer, backup singer, backup dancer, plastic surgery, breast implants, hip hop, under contract, loss of status, dancing, gabriele susanne kerner, nena, masturbation, nevus, skin care, skin treatment, hair treatment, facial, Neera Tanden, Patty Jenkins, director, film director, librarian, library, nudity, paper bag, shouting, shushing, angry, degrading, body shaming, job change, civic duty, in a box, executive orders, workout, on display, cameras, sexual workout, kegel, training, social media, mask, disease, asian, asian american, aerosol cum, engrish, language tf, news reporter, racism, racist, artist, art, work of art, human object, editor, gold digger, party girl, bitch, public indecency, oral, book editor, book publishing, magic, third rate, lies, messy, makeup, breast play, tech support, information technology, computers, harassment, sexual harassment, nerd, Sanna Marin, Kaja Kallas, Katrin Jakobsdottir, Jacinda Ardern, prime ministers, prime minister, lactation, milking, owned, pet, pet play, catgirl, human pet, chastity device, whore, press conference, russia, concessions, vaginal, electrician, iq loss, retrained, mental change, white house, white house press secretary, ass kisser, brown noser, lying, vibrator, sex toys, intern, dress code, office slut, blowjob, minimum wage, unity, Princess Diana, royal, royalty, british royalty, patriotism, traitor, filming, alexandria ocasio-cortez, aoc, Meghan Markle, Tracee Ellis Ross, Marie Antoinette, french royalty, cake, food, cake sex, JK Rowling, chiquita, chiquita banana, commercial, pasties, stickers, big boobs, degrading costume, singing, branding, ignorance, desperation, public masturbation, Anna Chapman, spy, new job, replaced, identity loss, russian spy, Judy Hsu, anchor, news anchor, principal, education, school, tricked, uniform, school uniform, teacher, punishment, thief, shoplifter, shoplifting, flasher, theft, atf, atf agents, government agents, agents, cocaine, big nose, cavity search, demoted, fuckballons, fuckballoons, balloon tits, helium boobs, fake boobs, female singer, video, music video, handjob, titjob, boobjob, balloons, female politician, congresswoman, employee of the month, goya foods, factory, factory worker, wedgie, backup skank, throat full of cum, shitty singing, bad singing, concert, sweat, spanked, see-through clothes, clogged throat, Mayim Bialik, dumbass, alina habba, Rochelle Walensky, doctor, female doctor, up the ass, recorded, Robbi Jade Lew, Submissive, Smelly, Stinky, Musk, Sniff, hairjob, anchorwoman, toys, poker, poker player, female poker player, cheating, cheating scandal, loss, fetish, Exercise, Ariel Bloomer, vocalist, court room, evidence, cheap, parody, sex, handcuffs, charlotte pence, strip search, anal probe, Lina Khan, nose, nose fetish, economist, sensitive, sensitive nose, motorboat, federal trade commission, commissioner, FTC, body modification, body changes, livestreaming, research, guinea pig, Milana Vantrub, ariana grande, taylor swift, female criminal, fake pregnancy, full of cum, Milana Vayntrub, Emily Yoffe, street punk, gangs, public undressing, undressing, bait, witch, cruelty, transphobia, sexism, misogyny, advice column, bad advice, wicked, Heather Bresch, CEO, executive, burlesque, technology, female viagra, Rebecca Roache, time stop, orgy, experiment, research subject, timestop, cold, time dilation, consensual, scarlet letter, interview, nipple piercings, adultery, false confession, attention whore, selfie, publicity stunt, historical, Hannah Fry, vocal fry, voice tf, iq humiliation, bimbo voice, legal, economics, fishing, trophy, Jenny Slate, comedian, Sarah Yarkin, royals, small pussy, small breasts, nipple play, sexual frustration, Kate Middleton, nose orgasm, cum snorting, nasal spray, failed diplomat, streaking, streaker, cheater, no sex, surgery, permanent makeup, boob job, framed, older woman, age play, ageplay, flower girl, wedding, bride, age regression, adopted, adoption, author, writer, female author, female writer, daisy ridley, Public_fucking, Troll, Waitress, Hairy_armpits, Hairy_bush, female director, porno, amy coney barrett, evil women, armpits, armpit sex, photoshoot, armpit slut, porn watching, porn binge, abortion, judge, supreme court, pregnant, pregnancy, tattoo, justices, Marie Kondo, cleaning consultant, female, japanese, toilet cleaning, toilet licking, covered in cum, anal plug, head in toilet, gaming, video games, unaware, booth babe
Updated on May 2, 2024
by ffq
Created on Sep 15, 2020
by ffq
- All Comments
- Chapter Comments