Lost in Thought

“Hey! You’re not looking at my profile are you?” Stella asks you inquisitively, making sure you’re not breaking another ‘House Rule’.

“No. No. I just got a call from Celeste. She’s staying over for a couple of days.” you tell Stella.

“Oh! Aunt Celeste? It’s been a while since we’ve seen her!” Stella reacts. “When’s she coming by? Maybe we could take her to our Girl’s Night Out tomorrow.” she adds.

“She’s arriving Saturday afternoon, and she’s here for business so she might not have time to hangout” you tell her. “Aw. That sucks.” Stella says disappointed. “But that’s good news right? Why’d you look like you got hit by a truck?

Fuck. You can’t tell your own daughter it’s because your app is recommending you to buy a trait called ‘Normalized ****’. What kind of misunderstanding would that lead to if she found out you were even considering it?

“I-uh, I just realized I said yes without thinking where she’s going to sleep.” you fib.

“Oh please. She could always stay in my room and I’ll take the couch. That’s no big deal.” Stella tells you.

“Oh. Right. I just thought with Cassie here—” you start but Stella interrupts you, “Yeah, yeah. She can go and sleep in your bedroom.” Stella says with resignation.

Cassie reacts positively upon hearing this news, and Stella wants none of that. “But no funny business!” she adds. “And you still sleep with me in my room tonight” Stella tells Cassie. Cassie doesn’t bother responding directly to Stella, but instead she does a mocking impression of Stella by repeating the words “Be happy” which you can’t help but laugh at.

“Hey! I stand by that. I said ‘be happy’ not ‘be horny every fucking minute of every fucking day’” Stella retorts. Before it escalates any further, you interject with “Language!” and telling them it’s time for dinner. Like overgrown children, they just stick their tongues out at each other before taking a seat for dinner.

Thankfully, the excuse you gave was more than enough for Stella to drop the subject. You had to pretend for the rest of the dinner that this newly suggested trait isn’t running around in your mind. After dinner, you and the girls continued watching the volleyball anime you started earlier and it was able to take your mind off of it a bit.

Now alone in the couch where you’re more comfortable sleeping when Cassie’s not with you, you can’t help but stare at the Affection Multiplier’s ‘YES/NO’ question of whether or not you want to buy the ‘Normalized ****’ Trait.

On the one hand, you can finally explore that deep-seated fantasy you’ve had of hitting on your gorgeous cousin, and see where it goes without people looking at you like you deserve to live in Alabama. On the other hand, maybe you do deserve to live in Alabama because this is fucking **** you’re thinking about here.

You ask yourself who’s going to get hurt if everybody is just going to think it’s okay anyway? Plus, it just said it removes that inhibition from your relatives, it doesn’t mean Celeste is suddenly going to want to bang you. You still have to make her want to bang you. You mentally slap yourself.

This is your fucking cousin you’re talking about!

No. It’s not just your cousin. It’s fucking Celeste you’re talking about. Your first crush. Your first wank. Your first fantasy. That’s why you’re even giving this thought the light of day. You go to her social media to see her profile picture and all the arguments about how taboo and wrong this is goes out the window.

Fuck. You can’t believe she’s in her 40s already.

Your train of thought is broken by Stella’s bedroom door opening, and you hide your phone like you’ve been looking at something dirty.

“I knew it. Can’t sleep in your bedroom without me to scare the monsters away?” Cassie jokes, upon seeing you laying on the couch. She lifts her leg over the backrest of the couch and falls on top of you.

“You know me so well already” you reply to her, returning the joke.

“Can’t sleep?” she asks you.

“I should ask you the same thing.” you reply.

“Something like that. Stella’s already asleep and I… I missed you mister… Jay”, she corrects herself, before giving you a small peck on the nose.

“I missed you too”, you tell her before giving her an eskimo kiss.