Lindsey and Susan read Tower of Voices, by Engin

Fred and Melody were sat at the computer.

"Okay, so we're doing the Tower of Voices by Engin" said Fred.

Suddenly, Lindsey and Susan came in.

"What the fuck is going on here?" asked Lindsey.

"We're doing Tower of Voices" said Fred.

"No, we're doing Tower of Voices"

"I think we might have been double-booked" said Susan.

"How is that even possible?"

"I think Unknown7 might have decided we should both do it because the tower is connected to various different universes"

"So the four of us have to share the review?"

READING IN PROGRESS

(3 chapters in)

"Oh course, they're gonna chose the women" said Fred, "who would wanna see some gay shit?"

"Dammit, I was supposed to say that" said Lindsey.

"Our choices are a female knight of a noble family, an Elf mage, a bandit, a priestess and a lizard chick"

"So who do we chose?" asked Susan.

"I don't really care"

"Yulia" said Melody.

"You only chose her cuz she's a white mage like you"

"I also find her the most sympathetic" said Susan.

"Yeah, stopping a plague from killing everybody sounds like the most important thing" said Lindsey, "the lizard just wants to make a map and the bandit is well... a bandit. The needs of the other two just aren't as pressing"

"Lindsey, it doesn't work this way" said Susan, "We're not selecting our character like a normal CHYOA. There is a forum that decides who is picked and what they do"

"So we have to read a forum as well to understand whats going on here?" asked Fred.

"Oh, Well, I hope they don't chose that bandit" said Lindsey, "she deserves the **** sentence for her crimes"

MORE READING IN PROGRESS

"Fortunately, only one person actually chose the bandit" said Fred.

"I'm glad she died" said Lindsey, "I also think Gambia might be a racist"

"This again?" asked Susan.

"I mean he basically decided to judge all lizards for what one did to him and don't forgot the racist tangent he went off on in Clumsy Ninja"

"I single line is not a tangent"

"Also, he can't spell dead. Its the same mistake he made with Clumsy Ninja. Regin34 can't spell dead either. In fact, he can't spell a lot of things"

"Well, Yulia got chosen anyway" said Melody.

"I think Yulia should have gone with Regin34's idea" said Susan, "well, it doesn't have to be her bra, just any piece of clothing to open the door"

"These voices seem to be aware of things like health and mana. What's mana?"

"In certain games there are health points" said Lindsey, "if they reach zero you die. Mana is the same thing but with magic. You need mana to use magic in these games"

"That is really complicated"

"Gambia doesn't seem to realise whats at stake. If Yulia gives up, her world dies from plague. It would be idiotic to abandon her quest. Though, he does have a point about how Yulia should have brought food and water with her. She also should have brought protective armour and a small sword and shield"

"The whole camera thing is confusing" said Susan, "wouldn't it make more sense if it was in the form of a CHYOA story? This is breaking the 4th wall in a way that makes no sense given the medium"

"Blank97 also tries to sabotage Yulia's efforts" said Fred, "its real to her just as Dark Lord is real to those of us living in that world"

"Hey, maybe its your world that's just some CHYOA story. Also, what kinda names are Gambio, or Regin34 or Blackmoon or Blank97?"

"I don't think its their real names" said Lindsey.

"So they meet Alide, who's job is to guard the tower" said Melody.

"Honestly, Engin should have shown an image of Alide. I mean how are the voices enamoured by her body or choice of outfit when this is all in text form?"

"I think images of inside the tower would help sell the whole 'camera' thing" said Susan.

"It also turns out Alide can also hear the voices" said Fred.

"In that case, Alide, get a load of this"

Susan shoved her bare bottom against the monitor screen.

"She can HEAR the voices" said Lindsey, "she can't see your asscheeks. Anyway, does Alide have any life beyond the tower? Its not much different from living in her parent's basement"

"Thats just what I said" said Fred, "Yulia gets a cool icicle power that she kills tentacles with"

"I could do with some offensive abilities of my own" said Melody.

"For some reason Yulia decides to help the goblin. Doesn't she know that goblins **** women?"

"Wait, how do we know it works like in Goblin Slayer?" asked Lindsey.

"Well, apparently, the goblin is another traveller to this tower" said Melody.

"Isn't this tower supposed to be a yearly thing? Has she been in there all this time and not even beaten the first floor?"

"So we get our first boss fight" said Fred, "skeletons are usually mooks, though sometimes they pull themselves back together. That could be a problem"

"I hope the skeleton has a penis" said Susan, "it would suck if it didn't have a penis. The skeleton does have a penis, right? If not, how does it live like that? I feel sorry for him. Also, whats an N64?"

"Yulia beats the first floor but no treasure chest shows up" said Lindsey.

"About her bodily needs? Couldn't Yulia just take any shits she takes with her?"

"Why would she do that?" asked Fred.

"Throw it in an enemy's face. They won't see that coming and then she can kill them with her icicles"

"Well, its a better plan than leaving behind the fucking sword and shield the skeleton left. Is Yulia a moron?"

"So on the second floor, we meet Dreg, who can also hear the voices" said Lindsey.

"Okay, so why are the voices suggesting that Yulia kill Dreg?" asked Melody, "he hasn't actually done anything or shown to be dangerous in any way. That stuff about possibly molesting her in her sleep isn't mentioned until after the fact"

"Honestly" said Susan, "it doesn't sound any worse than what I'd expect from Marel or Rina or Gina or Marcie or my mom"

"Even then, Dreg might not have meant anything sexual at all" said Lindsey, "I mean he could just **** Yulia right then and there if he wanted to. Its not much different from Alide's vague 'payment' she expects from Yulia"

"I'm not convinced Dreg is even sentient" said Fred, "this tower is very video game like. I think Dreg might just be an NPC"

This flew over Melody's head.

"That does make sense" said Lindsey, "you think Alide is the same way?"

"No, she and Dahlia had the sentience to write a review of Dark Lord" said Fred, "though, its possible what Yulia encountered was an NPC based on the original Alide that wrote the review. Anyway, Yulia decides to spin the wheel and gets some grenades. For a moment, I thought we'd end up in a King Edward situation but those 15 chapters gave us a lot to talk about. Until-"

"-next-"

"-time-" said Melody.

"-readers" finished Susan.