Like a parent

“You’re smoking!?” you can’t help but shout that reaction.

The two of you are now on the apartment building’s stairwell, on your way back upstairs to your apartment on the third floor.

“Hey! Don’t be a hypocrite! Don’t tell me you didn’t start smoking again” she retorts.

“That’s not the point. How long have you been doing this?”

“Guess.” she answers you coldly. Right, probably around the same time you started smoking again too. “Plus, you don’t get to play ‘responsible parent’ right now when you’re clearly just coming off of being high,” she adds.

Before you can respond, you hear somebody else intrude in the conversation — “So that’s what it takes to get Jay out of his apartment.” You see that it was your neighbor, Tanya Ramirez, who made the remark. She’s wearing gym clothes and carrying a yoga mat so it’s safe to assume where she’s headed off to. You can’t help but notice how her sports bra’s neckline goes low enough to show off her ample cleavage.

“It’s not everyday your daughter comes home after her first year in college” you reply to her.

“Oh, based on the shouting match I heard, that's not what got you out of your apartment. So, I was definitely implying it’s because you’re high” she says with a wink, clearly just teasing you. It still makes you rub the back of your neck in embarrassment though.

“It’s nice to see you again Stella” she tells Stella, giving her cheek kisses.

“It’s nice to see you too Ms. Ramirez” Stella replies politely.

“Still so polite, this girl. Tanya’s fine sweetie.” she tells Stella. “I’m sure my girls would love to catch up with you once they’re back from their grandparents.” Tanya adds.

“I’m looking forward to catching up with them too.” Stella replies, with the fakest smile you’ve ever seen her put on.

“How are the twins by the way?” you interject.

“Short story is they’re fine. Long story is not enough for a stairwell conversation.” She answers with a laugh. “Anyway, I’ll get going now. Don’t be a stranger, Jay.” She gives you a cheek kiss as well, and proceeds to go downstairs. You watch her go downstairs and you notice how her yoga pants hug her… “gifted” backside.

She suddenly stops mid-step and looks back at you. She immediately notices you were looking at her as she was going down the stairs, and her lips curl into a mischievous smile. “If you want to hear more about how my twins are doing, you can always drop by my apartment.” The innuendo in the way she said twins was not lost on you. She turns back around, and you swear she sways her hips as she walks to make her ass bounce.

“Ugh. Glad to see she’s not treating you any differently after your divorce.” Stella says sarcastically.

“Yeah, your mom always hated how flirty Tanya gets.” you reply.

“Bang her.”

Your daughter’s statement from out of nowhere makes you turn to her so fast you could’ve pulled a muscle in your neck. You then turn back to look downstairs to make sure Tanya was out of earshot.

“You’re single now right?” Stella continues nonchalantly, as if everything she’s saying should make total sense to you. “It’s not that si—” you try to say, but she cuts you off. “Bang her.” she says with finality, and continues climbing the stairs back to your apartment.

You both make it back to your apartment and see Cassie holding a trash bag already filled with what you assume are: pizza boxes, chip bags, beer cans, beer bottles, assorted **** bottles, and fast-food takeout.

“Kiss ass” Stella immediately says, addressing Cassie, upon seeing her cleaning; to which Cassie responds by just sticking her tongue out. “You always did want to be Daddy’s favorite girl” Stella continues to tease, as she probably didn’t get the response she was looking for with her original teasing comment. Cassie immediately blushes.

‘That’s cause for concern’, you think to yourself. No way that girl’s attracted to you… right?

Seemingly satisfied with Cassie’s embarrassed reaction, Stella addresses you.

“You. Shower. Now.” Her authoritativeness takes you by surprise, but you immediately spring into action. Before you can get any further though, she says “Wait —”

“Cassie, beard or no beard?” she asks Cassie, most likely referring to the unkempt beard you grew during isolation after the divorce was finalized. Cassie stops picking up random trash laying around and looks at you. You swear she bit her lower lip again before smiling.

“Beard,” she answers.

“Beard it is.” Stella declares, before turning back to you. “I agree with Cassie. The beard suits you. So, just trim it, don’t shave it.” she commands you, her tone still full of authority. “I’ll help her out with cleaning this place up, and order some takeout so we can have lunch.” she continues, not giving you any room to argue.

You’re seriously impressed. Your daughter really is all grown up. It puts a proud smile on your face. You basked in her maturity for too long and it forces her to bark “Go!” at you, but with a smile on her face because even she knows how parental she’s acting right now. You mentally thank her for it since you’ve really needed that kind of structure in your life since Diane left, but you also take a mental note to not rely on her too much.

You’re the parent here, not the other way around.