John, a recently friend-zoned guy

I was upset. I had known Alice most of my life, and I wanted to finally confess my feelings for her. And what does she do?

She tells me I'm like a brother to her. That's bad. Worse than bad. Alice was one of the sweetest people I knew, so it must have hurt her to reject me.

Luckily, I think I had a solution. I recently got something called a random remote in the mail a few days ago, and I was looking for someone to test it on. The catch was I had no control over what someone became....