Joey does

No one offers to help my wife back to the cabin. I don’t want to lose Rachel. I’ll never get another chance with her. If I go with my wife, I’m afraid the mood will die. I’ll wake up and this dream will be over.

Monica’s face sinks with disappointment. She groans with pain as she takes her first step back to the house.

“Oh fuck,” Joey says and rushes over to help my wife. “I’ll help you. It’s the least I can do after blowing out your back.”

“Thanks,” Monica says, leaning her weight onto the big hairy man. “Quite a gentlemanly thing to do.”

He helps my wife back inside. He fucked my wife so hard she can barely walk. Now he’s taking care of her.

Ross says what everyone is thinking, “I can’t believe you didn’t help your wife inside.”

“That’s a bad look Chandler,” Phoebe says.

I fumble with words. I don’t want to tell them that I was afraid of losing my shot with Rachel. I try to think of some other bullshit I can say to make me look better. Fuck.

Rachel pats me on the shoulder, “Go check on her. I’ll be out here waiting.”

I stand up and reluctantly leave the fire. I’m so sure this will all end if I leave. Even if I come back outside, Rachel won’t be in the mood. There’s so much that could go wrong.

I pick up my pace. I have to hurry. Go in. Apologize. Offer support. Give a kiss goodbye. Then finally fuck my friend’s sexy-as-fuck wife.

I just hope she’s not already in the shower with the door locked. That will delay my plan.

I rush and open the door.

Luckily for me, I have no trouble finding my wife. Unfortunately she’s a little busy to accept my apology.