How about that disturbing new Church initiative?

Obviously, finding out what kind of Church initiative could justify Eri making out with random strangers entering the city of Merridan was Piper's top priority. Even if not for her personal curiosity, she had been tasked with finding out what the Church was up to by the strange coachman who'd brought her... Well, brought her halfway, anyway. Earlier, she had been entertaining the idea of just blowing off his suspicious request, but now, she was thinking that quick exit from this city might be a nice option to have in her back pocket. "So, give me the gumbo, Auntie! Scoop the soup. Just what strange bells are ringing in the head of that daffy head of the Church? Or did those kooky choir-goers finally come to their senses and simply decide to weaponize your wife-ish wiles?"

"Ah, no." Eri shook her head and reached for the pen again, as though to work on her log entry a bit more. Subtly, Piper slid the logbook towards her side of the table and rested her elbow on top of it. "It isn't really an order to us members of the parish so much as to the clergy themselves." The innkeeper smiled tightly again, and Piper braced herself to get a Sunday school lesson. "You remember how Geod's love for Merridan and our love for Him brings about a holy barrier which protects Merridan from harm?"

Piper couldn't hide her audible scoff. "Not to call you an old wife, Auntie, but that's naught but an old wives' tale!"

Eri's brow knit less with frustration than confusion. "Pippy, how can you say that?"

"As I explained, Eri, the world is wide, and my bright brain is broadened. I'm afraid I've simply surpassed the nutty notion of good old Geod."

"No, Pippy, I'm saying... Honestly, how can you say that? The barrier that protects Merridan is no myth. It's not a rumor, either... The scribes of the Church have made factual records of foul demons revealing themselves and being burnt like toast by the wall of Geod's love that surrounds us. Didn't you have to pass through it to get here?"

"Pffft. Yay freaky fog, so what?" Piper shrugged dismissively. "I learned of a little thing called 'science,' Eri, and there's an enthralling scientific explanation for each and every event."

"B-but the minions of the demon lord are real!" Eri insisted, lowering her voice to a whisper as though afraid of being heard. "Didn't you notice the low traffic on the road outside? They say there is a horrifying headless horseman who steals... well... I can hardly bring myself to say it!"

"Heads?" Piper guessed, crossing her arms behind her head casually. "Well, yes, I daren't doubt the demon lord and his monstrous minions are really real. That's what the Knights are for, guarding those gates, you know! And, anyway, Eri, doesn't that dastardly Dullahan you described dash your theological theory?"

"I don't understand... How so?"

"You said that hoary horseman is harassing home-comers within the walls of Geod! How could such be so? The demonic dummy would have to've gotten got in Geod's ridiculous ring, like a buzzing bug as a pain in your pane!"

Eri frowned, crossing her arms as though she was thinking hard. "What if... the barrier got stronger when the Church started, um, gathering more faith... and then the demon was trapped inside...?"

Piper laughed without giving it a second thought. "Ho ho ho! No need to pay it another penny of pondering, my pretty Auntie. Forget it post-haste. Let us wrap back to the main task. Tell me of that erotic edict."

"Oh, the initiative, right. Well, basically, the Church ordered its followers to display Geod's love by offering themselves to... well, Pippy, to sexual activities. Basically, um, the head of the Church, Clara Fauxbright, encouraged everyone to satisfy whomsoever they would in Geod's name, that our faith as a town might increase and the barrier which protects us grow stronger with His favor."

"Ah... Now, it is all quite clear."

"Oh..." Eri looked pleasantly surprised, as though she hadn't expected that to be accepted so easily. "Well, I'm glad you understand."

"Ha! It's hardly hard, hardy har," Piper returned with a smug smile, leaning towards Eri's face with a know-it-all grin that was bold for a woman who'd just had her breath stolen from her moments before in that close proximity. "Basically, that busty blonde beauty whose fantastic fame and ridiculous rack are the talk even beyond the walls of Merridan decided she was finally down to share some shag, hm? To shed the shawl and hurl off the habit, then bounce some bedsprings, yay? I suppose even the head of the church heeds a heady calling now and then... Hard to believe she'd drag droves of followers following, but such is religion, I reckon!"

"Piper, that's an awful thing to say about that nice young lady." Eri reprimanded Piper with a scolding frown that took her back. "Clara works so hard, and... w-why... do you really think she's doing that sort of thing herself?" Even the devout innkeeper didn't seem to be so blindly devoted to the initiative that she could picture that.

"Pfah! 'Nice young lady' indeed! Clara Fauxbright was a cornerstone of that cobbled-together choir house when I was but a dewdrop in diapers! Ha ha... Hm." Piper paused for a moment, realizing something odd, before waving it off as unimportant. "Well, whatever. That clammy clergy gave way to a herald hall of 'hoary hosts,' so to speak? That seems like gussied-up gossip fit to ferry me far away, or my name's not Farrhenway! But this is so incredibly incredible, so wackeningly wacky, I simply must see it myself or I dare not depart. Perhaps I'll get a peek at some of those pious perverts in the inn? Therein! Thus, bid me part, my darling Auntie! Oh, but before..."

Piper quickly threw the book open, grabbed the ink well, dipped her pen in, and made a theatrical show of fumbling it to dump the ink well where her signature had been. "Oh dear how could it happen you do hate to see it so sorry, Auntie, I'll make it up to you! Toodaloo!~"

Eri gasped, then rose to call out to Piper's fleeing back. "Oh...! Oh, Pippy! Geod's going to be very cross with you! R-repent and make Him happy, okay? And do stop in and say hello to Henrick...!"

Piper hated to spill-and-run, but she needed to set up shop and start playing for tips if she was going to earn her meal for the night. She hoped she'd run into another interesting story, but she'd honestly be just as happy if she could be the talk of the night, herself, if it left her well fed. "Onward to inn wood~, wherein I would war~ble...~"

After all of this excitement, Piper had to admit she'd really like to just play a set, eat a decent meal, and kick back on a good old Hattler Inn mattress. It was already about sundown...