Her encounters with my penis

Phoebe finishes off her glass and sets it down. She looks around the fire, “I see how you are looking at me but it’s not like that. If you’re friends with someone long enough, you’re going to have a few revealing encounters.

“The first time I met Chandler just happened to contain one of those accidental embarrassing incidents that you never talk about and try to forget. Joey, Chandler and I were all on a hike. Somehow Joey and I got separated on the trail from Chandler. I went back to find him. I made a turn around a boulder, and Chandler was standing on the side of his trail pissing. He had his back angle so any hiker coming up the trail wouldn’t see him, but he was perfectly angled so I saw his dick in his hand with piss streaming out. I immediately said, “Oh sorry!” and turned away. He quickly turned his back to me, finished peeing and tucked it away. He apologized to me, saying that he didn’t think anyone would be coming down the trail. So I just happened to catch a glimpse of Chandler’s penis the first time I met him.”

“Sounds like an innocent mistake,” Rachel says. “I would be mortified if that happened to me. I get so nervous having to pee while hiking.”

Monica doesn’t seem convinced, “Okay. That was the first time you saw my husband’s penis. When was the next?”

Phoebe gives me a brief glance before she starts. The second time wasn’t so accidental.

“So Ross, Joey and Chandler were all going on a ski trip to southern Colorado, except Ross backed out at the last minute. Joey invited me to take his place. The three of us drove down together. It was a fun little roadtrip.

“We skied during the day, but that evening there was a big snowstorm. We got drunk. Really drunk. So drunk that I wouldn’t let Chandler answer Monica’s phone call because he would embarrass himself.

“I think I asked Chandler if he had ever been skinny dipping, and he said YES. I followed up by asking if he’s ever been skinny dipping in the snow! He said no—he’d never heard of it. I told him we’d all do it. Strip naked, run out into the blizzard, make a snow angel, then run back in and take a steamy shower. It would be exhilarating. You have to try.

“Chandler was convinced, and was the first out the door, his clothes laid scattered behind him. He made the snow angel before he realized he was the only one naked out in the snow. Joey and I laughed uncontrollably in the doorway. Chandler came back to the room, pissed as hell, covering his manhood with his snow covered clothes. I may have made a comment about him having a nice butt and smacking it as he walked angrily to the bathroom.

“It’s not my proudest moment, but it was super funny at the time. Even though there was a blowing snowstorm, I did happen to see Chandler’s dick, but that was definitely not the point of the prank.”

“Goddamn, you’re lucky he didn’t get frostbite,” Ross says. Apparently not amused with the prank they pulled on my drunk ass.

“He wasn’t out there that long,” Joey says. “It was harmless fun. I’m the one who came up with the idea. Not Phoebe, so you can’t blame her for briefly seeing his flopping dick while he did snow angels.”

Monica ignores Joey and focuses on Phoebe. “That was time number 2. How quickly after that was time number 3?”

Phoebe’s eyes widen at me. How much did you tell your wife!? She clears her throat, “Like five minutes after the prank. I was really drunk and I felt bad after the prank. I wanted to apologize to Chandler. And I wanted to apologize as soon as possible so that he knew I really regretted the prank. So I went into the bathroom, and apologized while he was still in the shower. I caught a flash of his penis before he covered it and turned his back to me. He did not appreciate the timing of the apology.”

“You purposefully walked in on him in the shower!?” Rachel exclaims. She definitely has my wife’s back. “That isn’t innocent at all!”

“I was really drunk. I wasn’t thinking sexually or about his naked body at all. I just felt guilty and wanted to apologize,” Phoebe says. She looks at Monica, “So three times, all brief flashes. I couldn’t even tell you if he was circumcised.”

“That’s a lie,” my wife snaps back.

“Okay. I could tell that he was circumcised,” Phoebe admits.

“No. It’s a lie that you only saw it three times. Tell us about the others,” Monica says. She’s not letting up. For being an ‘open book’ Phoebe is keeping it locked up about me.

I’ve only told my wife about four incidents. Does she know there is more or is she just guessing?

I try to discreetly mouth the word FOUR to Phoebe. I hope she saw it. I really don’t want my wife to know about the fifth incident.