Grab a bite and meet the competition!

The first, most important thing Piper had to attend to, even if she had to fight her way through a crowd or the demon lord's servants to do it, was get her hands and teeth on one of those burgers. She'd never gotten one of those special-occasion-only treats when she was a kid, and it sounded like they were even better now! Besides all that, she couldn't remember being hungrier. She'd at least gotten some water after her earlier near-**** experience, but her stomach was grumbling fiercely at her poor treatment...

Piper took a seat next to the other two young women, who surely must be other contestants here. Before even introducing herself, she took a look at the menu in front of her. "Mr. Hattler, sir! I beg to bite into one of your biggest, most bodaciously beefy barbecue burgers..."

The eager songstress trailed off as she could tell the other two women were giving her weird looks. The one closest to her, a dark-haired young woman with hair in a short ponytail and judgmental grey eyes, had a lean sandwich in her hands, something like a BLT without too much bacon. She was dressed in a similar outfit, but with a red bottom with a devil's tail and a matching, horned headband. The ridiculous outfit matching Piper's own and Hattler's staunchly-expressed intention for the contest were about the only indicator she was a boyish girl and not a girlish boy... The girl behind her, a slender but quite pretty woman with long green hair parted from her forehead, wore a gold-colored bottom with angel wings on the back of her blouse and a ridiculous gold headband with a funny gold halo on it, bobbing on an antennae. She also had a baffled expression that clearly said she thought Piper was the world's biggest idiot. There was a salad in front of her. Piper noticed the dark-haired one had a mug of milk, and the green-haired one had some kind of juice...

Piper noticed those two girls' outfits fit them basically fine, becoming a little self-conscious of her teensy bit of a belly peeking over the lip of her tiny shorts. "Ahem. I'll... swap that for a smaller saucy slider, sir. But bring on the beers!" Piper realized what those looks were for: she had almost filled up on a tremendous, bloating meal just before a dance contest. Maybe not the best first impression... still, Piper held out a hand to the closer contestant for a shake. "Piper Farrhenway, traveling songstress and dance contestant, wittily yours! You are?"

"Roi Wulder... Knight trainee." Piper couldn't know it, but Roi had already been struggling to keep up with the high energy of the other woman next to her, and now felt she was in a sandwich between two green-haired eccentrics. She shook Piper's hand with low energy. "And this is-"

"Guyld St. Vendigeld IV, a proud name which needs no introduction in all of Merridan!" The farther woman both leaned around Roi over the counter and tilted her head up, as though seeing her noble personage was a requirement of being greeted by her, pressing one hand to her perky chest in lieu of returning any handshake. "Any faithful servant of the church or recipient of our patronage will naturally show deference to that storied lineage!"

"Haha!" Piper found herself instantly amused by the other woman's funny name alone, never mind the rest of her introduction. "I am neither good Geod-fearing folk nor a silly citizen of this topsy-turvy town, I fear! To an agnostic like me, you're merely an unlikely angel."

The other woman bristled at Piper's unforgivable sin of knowing nothing about her family. But, also... "I didn't choose to be garbed in this ridiculous fashion! The lowly proprietor of this farcical tavern saw fit to have me, Guyld St. Vendigeld IV, dress in a goofy costume for his preposterous competition! To think, an award-winning dancer such as myself in a filthy dive such as this..."

"Gosh, good Guyld! A puzzling predicament." Ignoring Roi's obvious growing impatience with her constant rhyming and quiet note that she, too, had not asked to be dressed up in such a silly outfit, the songstress rested one elbow on the counter and tilted her head curiously. "What farcical winds of fate blew you two lovely little ladies to such a strange setting?"

"I think we're about the same age," Roi protested, crossing her arms in protest. Still, she continued, not seeming to object to making conversation. "As a knight trainee of Dyna's Companions, I was sent as an envoy by no less than Dyna herself." She wouldn't dare admit to these other two that she could think of only two reasons her captain had only given that order to someone like her: as a mean joke, or because it seemed like an incredibly low-stakes arena to practice honing her sex appeal. "Claiming victory, even in a place like this, is a way for us to show the true worth of the knights to the people."

"Harumph, Roh-eee Wulder!" Guyld turned her nose up again, sneering down at her... friend? Piper wondered if it was safe to assume that. "As for me, I am under no one's orders but my own and no obligations but to my own self-improvement for the glorification of Geod and continued prevalence of my family name in these uncertain and changing times! Don't think I've forgotten the humiliation your rude child of a captain visited upon me, Roh-eee! When she had the audacity to visit me in my house of worship and mention this competition, I couldn't believe her sheer foolishness! And, to think, she sends a novice like you to do her dirty work! I'm looking forward to seeing your laughably amateur performance."

"And I'm looking forward to seeing you embarrass yourself like you did in your own church," Roi taunted back through an ill-mannered mouthful of her sandwich, which she quickly swallowed. "I guess you forgot you didn't do a whole lot of dancing there. Meanwhile, I even practiced! A little!"

"Hoho! How arrogant! I practiced not a little for this competition, but quite a whole lot! I won't be bested by Dyna Montague's lapdog! I look forward to seeing your silly squirming!"

Piper had been chewing her slider for a while now, watching the two of them with interest. She took a big gulp of her beer, then let out a satisfied sigh and gave them a slightly tipsy smile. "Adorable! You're each excited to eye the unskilled oscillations of the other."

Roi whipped her head around, nearly slapping each girl with her small ponytail as she rushed to defend herself. "No way! I'm saying I want to laugh at her!"

"I think you're misunderstanding something!" Guyld joined her frenemy, banging one dainty fist on the counter and peering around at Piper. "This is a rivalry, Miss Piper! I also intend to jeer and jest at poor Roh-eee's pathetic performance!"

"Please don't start talking that way she does," Roi begged.

"Hmm..." As a person who loved the juicy details of other people's stories, Piper smugly smiled around her mug as she took another big gulp. "I find it fairly funny... That dotty Dyna you mentioned met you with this peculiar proposition, Roi? And you feel you're a fine fit for the function?"

"Well... no," Roi admitted, raising an eyebrow. "I mean, I'm a knight trainee, of course, so I'll do my duty! But... I kinda figured she'd pick someone a bit more... outgoing," the stoic woman demurred, glancing to the side.

"And good Guyld, you hadn't a hazy notion of this nonsense until the nutty knight came calling to your cathedral?"

"I should say not," Guyld agreed, seeming offended at the very idea. "I have no reason to pay heed to the nakedly perverse competitions taking place in the taverns of commoners."

"Smells like a setup..." Piper left her comment hanging in the air as she focused on her remaining food, watching the other two shift uncomfortably in their seats.

Roi turned to Guyld again with an awkward smile of **** composure, now. "I've... got no idea what this girl's going on about, but... It's definitely about a rivalry, right? If anything, Dyna was trying to prove that any knight or trainee can trounce you churchies as many times as we meet!"

Guyld had been looking distractedly at the floor as though realizing something for the first time, and almost jumped when she was addressed. She tilted her nose all the way up again and tried out a confident laugh. "Ha... ha! Yes, that's certainly it! But you're about to see just how severely unprepared you are and how perilously that pipsqueak captain of yours underestimated me!"

"So you're pretty confident in your dance," Roi asked her, suddenly looking serious.

"... Y-yes," Guyld replied, frowning and turning bashful, but trying to match the other girl's seriousness. "I believe it'll be, um... more well-suited to draw applause in a place like this."

"Eh? Huh... S'that so...?" Roi turned from her and took a big sip of her milk, glancing away with apparent disinterest.

Piper watched the two of them fidgeting with a big smile, now notably tipsy. She had gone lighter on the food, but she hadn't turned down a refill on her mug, and she was on her way to sloshed. It was a good combination of feelings, and she felt her luck was finally improving for the night. "I could carry on goading on these girls till tomorrow's twilight, but before the competition carries on carelessly..."