Fools for love

"No, you don't, Spike," said Buffy as she turned around and saw Harmony and him standing right behind her. "You don't have any chance with me at all. Not even in your dreams."

Spike replied, "But you just said --"

"I said I dreamed about you," said Buffy. "That doesn't mean I'm in love with you. I dream about a lot of people that I'm not in love with -- Andrew, for example. You're just fooling yourself if you think differently."

"So you're not interested in my Blondie Bear?" asked Harmony.

"No, Harmony," said Buffy. "You can have him. I'd rather die an old maid rather than take him away from you."

"In that case, I have only one question," said Harmony.

"What's that?" asked Buffy.

"Do you dream about me?" asked Harmony.

"No, Harmony," said Buffy. "Why would I?"

"Not even a little bit?" asked Harmony.

"Again, no," said Buffy.

"Well, that doesn't seem fair," said Harmony. "You just said that you dream about Cordelia."

"Oh, for Pete's -- I don't choose who appears in my dreams," said Buffy. "And it doesn't always mean anything if a certain someone appears in them."

"So why don't you dream about me?" asked Harmony.

"I don't know," said Buffy. "Why would you want me to dream about you?"

"Well, you dream about Spike and Drusilla," said Harmony.

"Not intentionally," said Buffy.

"So you're not interested in me?" asked Harmony.

"Why would I be interested in you, Harmony?" asked Buffy. "I'm as straight as you are."

"Well, I don't know about that," said Harmony. "After all, I've had some really hot dreams about Charlize Theron..."

"I think everyone is missing the point," said Spike. "Buffy is with me now and you two have no business hitting on my girlfriend."

"Since when is Buffy your girlfriend?" asked Drusilla.

"Since I said so," said Spike.

"Oh, please," said Drusilla with a roll of her eyes.

"Yes, Spike," said Harmony. "Buffy belongs to me."

"Say what?" asked Buffy.

"Buffy is my girl and you can't have her," said Harmony.

"Wait a minute!" cried Buffy. "Harmony, you came this close to killing me just a short time ago because you were jealous of me and Spike and now you want to make me your girlfriend?"

"Why not?" asked Harmony.

"Don't I get a say in this?" asked Buffy.

"No," said Harmony.

"Buffy has a point, you two," said Drusilla. "She deserves to have the chance to choose between the three of us."

"Well, actually I'd prefer to choose 'none of the above' if it comes to that," said Buffy.

"Sorry, luv," said Spike. "Not an option. Now choose."

"Very well," said Buffy. "Since I have to choose one of you, then I choose... that one."

And with that, Buffy pointed to one of the three vampires who surrounded her.