Fight & Flight.

You know what's the worst thing about magic?
It's all about writing the rules in the midst of playing the game! Now, don't get me wrong. The rules can go and take a long walk on a short pier. But how am I supposed to screw the rules, if that Bitch Witch keeps changing them all the time?

For instance, when she went POOF! And I no longer saw her... Did she go somewhere else, or just turn invisible?

Most people wouldn't even know how confused they were if that happened, but as it turns out, I was a reckless, impulsive gun-toting bitch. Lucky me.
See, when anything can happen and nothing's the way it's supposed to be, it's not so much about acting right as it is about acting. Period.
So I fired blindly into the empty spot before me. Over and over. And over.

None of the bullets hit anything, visible or invisible.
I turned around, finding myself faced with her wand, sparks crackling around the tip.
I instinctively grabbed her wrist. Wrung it away, just in time for the lightning bolt to miss me. She scrambled desperately against my grip. I didn't budge though. Just got myself a stiff lever to pivot her around. I swept her ankle, and down she went.

I straddled her, plunging the gun against her temple and used the barrel to grind her face against the dust. Her eyes peered towards me with searing contempt. Seemed the Bitch Witch knew better than to fear the gun over me.
"Eat shit, you shit-eater!" She flung a fistful of sand at me. I recoiled, raising my elbows to shield my eyes.
But far too late.
"Gahhh! Ugh– Oh, real mature!" I sputtered, rubbing the sting away with my forearm.
Then, I felt my jaw get socked.... Did she just punch me? She seriously threw a punch after blinding me? I've had good-night kisses from granny that hurt worse than that, but oh– That pissed me off.
My hands reached blindly for her. Half to punch, half to grab. Didn't feel anything there. Nothing but grains. I **** my eyes open, peering through my tears. Nothing.
The Bitch Witch had vanished on me! Again!
I knew she wasn't invisible. Couldn't feel anything between my legs. Still, I punched the sand, right where her alluringly ugly face should be.

I looked around– Left. Right. No Bitch Witch anywhere. The flickering Barrier kept distracting me.
Something came at me in the corner of my eye. A bright glow. From behind.
I threw myself to the ground, away from the fire dart flying at me. Only when I no longer felt its heat searing my neck did I know it had passed.
It vanished in a noiseless burst of embers when it struck the Barrier. Nothing remained of it after– Nothing but its smokey tail. I followed it with my gaze, and there she was. The Bitch Witch. In all her bitchy glory. Standing nice and far away.

She raised her wand in a wide sweeping motion. A cluster of burning orbs the size of coconuts launched into the air. They hit the sand around me, one by one, each time erupting in a fiery explosion. One landed within pissing distance of me. That one shook the ground upon detonation.
Keeping myself close to the ground, I lined up my shot. I squeezed the trigger to the orchestra of fireworks going off around me. Shot three times at her. Make it four. Sand kicked up where the bullets struck, but she didn't flinch.
"What's the matter, Science Girl?" She shrieked with a mocking laugh, "Getting bored of my COMMAND OVER THE PRIMAL FORCES OF NATURE!? Come on, get up and play!"
She knew well my weapon couldn't reach her from all the way back there. Nothing that seemed to bother her.
She lobbed another round of fiery orbs from her wand. Then another. And another again.
They exploded here. There. Everywhere. Pillars of smoke rose from craters all around me. The scent of cinder lingered in the air.

I couldn't cling to the ground forever. The moment I stuck my head up, though, it'd be my head seared off my neck.
As it happened, I had the app for just such an occasion. I pulled out my phone, opening up my Tesla Oscillator app. I pressed play. It started beeping. The pitch rose, turning into a shrill shriek. I pressed the screen against the sand, turning it quiet. Instead, the grains on the ground quivered. Then danced.
The whole ground shook. A chthonic roar left the earth, as if heaven itself fell down.

I wasn't sure if my Earthquake App would work here in this world, but it seemed to be doing fine. Either that, or the tectonic plates had their boogie night scheduled at the most convenient time.

The Bitch Witch wobbled dangerously as if balancing on the back of a stampeding bull.
"S-stop! I command you to stop! This instance! I'm TRYING to show a certain science punk her place!" She screeched, stomping her feet like a toddler throwing a tantrum.
"UWUAAAAAHH!
And down she went, tumbling face-first in the sand.
Hilarious.

Finally, a moment to breathe. The beeping returned when I lifted the phone. I tapped the screen, and the noise asphyxiated. Once again, earth was fixed in place. But I couldn't see a damn thing. All the dust that got whipped up by the earthquake lingered like a veil.
I was completely alone.

Picked myself up, and paced my way forward. I held my gun at the ready.
Nothing but dust anywhere. For someone who couldn't shut up for a second, she was awfully quiet. My own haggard breath, and the crunch of my sneakers on the sand. That was the only sound anywhere. I just knew that her fire was gonna come out of nowhere at any second, burning me to cinders. To hell with that– I was gonna get the first shot in. But I needed something more for that. Something that packed a bit heavier punch.
I opened up the Automatic Fire app on my phone. I pulled a USB-cable from my pocket and plugged it into the gun. I slid the dial on the screen, controlling the rate of fire... 300RPM ought to do it.

I slipped the phone in my pocket so I could grip the gun with both hands. I took a step forward, and stopped. I exhaled. My finger squeezed the trigger...

TRRRAH– TRRRAH– TRRRAH– TRRRAH...!
A spray of bullets burst out into the lingering fog.
The eerie quiet returned immediately. Only the distant screams from the bleachers remained.
I turned around, backing away as I fired another salvo into the fog.

TRRRAH– TRRRAH– TRRRAH– TRRRAH...!
The shrill ring of lead one stone answered from beyond the dust. Then silence.
The Bitch Witch had apparently vanished into thin air. My grip tightened as I held my weapon close to my chest. The metal felt hot, almost searing. I swept the area with my eyes...
There. Something moved in the shifting dust. A brief shadow.

TRRRAH– TRRRAH– TRR...!
POW!
I got her. I got... Something. That didn't sound quite human.
I moved towards the noise and found a large box toppled over. A refrigerator. Wearing clown shoes. A bowtie fridge magnet polka-dot stuck to the door. A single bullet had pierced its metal carapace.
Almost forgot about the acausal recoil.
The door slumped over with a thud. A barrage of colorful balloons escaped its confines, soaring into the air.

The air.
I looked up.
There she was. The Bitch Witch. Soaring up high among the balloons. They rose past her, vanishing inside an ash cloud looming above. Her skirt bellowed in the wind as she looked down at me with a smirk.
I fired up at her.

TRRRAH– TRRRAH– TRRRAH– TRRRAH...!

The Bitch Witch swooped away from the cone of fire, over and under using one slick manuever after the other. What a showoff.
Of course that didn't work. A modified handgun against an airborne target?
Keep dreaming.

Meanwhile, I was ripe for the picking down there. She'd have no problem at all raining fire from above. Like shooting fish in a barrel.
Fuck that. I ducked under the fridge so I could pull out my phone. The Automatic Fire app flashed on, and I went ahead to pull all the dials to the very right.
I maxed out the rate of fire. 6000 RPM. Yes.
I maxed out the caliber. 13mm. Yes.
I maxed out the muzzle velocity. 1500 meters per second. Perfect.

The screen filled up with angry yellow triangles. Had to click them away.
Yes, I'm sure.
No, I'm not an idiot.
Once back in my pocket, I stepped out. Gun raised towards the Bitch Witch. One eye closed, I lined the sight with my target. Once I got her locked on, I grabbed the bicep of my gun-arm. I exhaled, and squeezed the trigger...

And then thunder struck.

KRRRKRKRKRKRKRKRRRKRRRKR...!

And away I flew, "KYAAAA-UAAWWWHH!"
Six feet back, landing flat on my ass. The gun never stopped spewing hellfire from its mouth.
Didn't bother to get up. Not when the pistol bounced around in a frenzy, yanking my arm every which way.
WHACK!
Got clubbed in the face by the wayward pistol. Hard.
Blood washed through my mouth.
I clamped my teeth shut, pretending to try and regain my bearings.

The muzzle flash lit up the dark blots before my eyes. I grabbed my arm in an attempt to guide the surge of lead– Anywhere. Any direction would do. As long as it's not eveyrwhere.
But it was useless, as if leading a rabid freight train with a leash.

CLKCLKCLKCLKCLK...
I was left a panting mess on the ground. The sudden stillness was just as disorienting as the whole roller-coaster ride. My grip on the hot metal faltered in my shaking fingers. The gun fell between my legs as if it suddenly weighed as much as a truck. My arm throbbed with excruciating pain, from the tip of my finger all the way to my shoulder. I flipped my hair out of my face and checked the phone.
OUT OF AMMO.
...Figures. Well, at least the ammunition died before I did. But what about her? My oh-so beloved enemy?
I looked up through the plume of smoke.
There she was. Still soaring like a motherfucking eagle. Not even a scratch. No. She was cackling! Just like the smug Bitch Witch that she was.

Fine.
Playtime was over. Time to pull out all the stops.
I opened up my phone again. This time, I ran up the Smart Grenade-Launcher App.
I took my aim. A zoomed in image of the Bitch Witch appeared on the phone. Numbers ran like a stung caterpillar on the bottom of the screen. The phone beeped as a target icon appeared around her. Wherever on the dimmed sky she swung around, I followed her with the sight. The icon turned from white to red as the beeping got faster. Got shriller.

I pulled the trigger.
BAM!
The Bitch Witch dodged away.
POW!
As if.
She avoided the brunt of the explosion, sure. But the blastwave sent her spinning out of control.

"KYAAAHHH!"
Down she spiralled, no doubt attempting to catch herself. But she could grasp the air as much as she wanted. Nothing up there to hold on to once things start spinning out of control. Probably she could feel herself hurtling down, and she needed to fly up again somehow. Yeah... Good luck when what's 'up' keeps on changing.
She struck the Barrier before she could hit the ground. She wasn't rolling like a wheel anymore at least, but it made short work of her flying.
Down she plummeted, an ear-piercing shriek followed her descent into the dusty clouds awaiting below.

Finally.
Time to put an end to it. I took aim, and squeezed the trigger.

CLICK.
What the... ?
I peered towards the screen, "Critical hardware malfunction?"
Ugh... Why can't they make handguns that are just a little bit sturdy these days? It's almost as if they don't think you'd attach anti-aircraft capabilities on a pistol.
Not that it mattered. Not much would've been left of the Bitch Witch-- if anything. I unplugged the disfigured carcass of the gun and left it smoking on the ground.
I ran into the encroaching shadow enveloping the Arena, towards the spot where the Bitch Witch fell.

Sure. Couldn't see my hand before my eyes. Not in the midst of the dust cloud, when the ash cloud had grown to blot out the sun. But I reached the edge fast enough. Then, it was a mere matter of following the cracked stone foundation until I spotted her. If she could run at all after that pounding she couldn't have run very fast. Not in that fanciful dress of hers. And let's be real, she didn't have the guts to teleport anywhere if she couldn't see where.
No. I just knew she was still there, waiting for me to pull her into a rear naked ****. Who needs them fancy gadgets, when I could simply cuddle her to sleep?

But where was she? If I didn't capitalize on my shot, she was gonna get up and try some other magic.
She was supposed to be there. Somewhere.
I stepped out of the cover of dust, into the one pocket of fresh air in the Arena.
And I skidded to a sudden halt.

The ground itself warped down, stretching infinitely into a funnel the size of an elephant, until swallowed by darkness. I was a single step away from a black abyss.
Yeah, no.
Turned on my heels and ran. My legs pumped as I made my way as far away from that hellhole as possible.

Not that it did any good.
The ground skewed before me, turning into a steep incline. I looked over my shoulder, finding the hole growing to swallow ever more of the Arena.

"What's the matter, Science Girl?" Her voice boomed from beyond the abyss, "Won't you stay and play? We can have ever so fun together! Don't tell me you're scared that your science won't help you now! That it's utterly useless in the face of true might! Well, too bad! You're coming with me! And here you shall stay here forevermore! AUHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Ahhh!" I screamed as I tumbled down, clutching the sand in a **** scramble to crawl upwards. Out of the encroaching pit. But the grains simply ran through my fingers.
And I fell. Down. Screaming as I descended to my next nightmare.