Discretion is the better part of valor.

As they stumbled back into Dan's room, he tried to pay more attention to the throbbing in his groin than what's occurring in his temple. As bizarre as everything had winded up being so far this morning, a part of him is curious as to how this will go. As much as he was okay with the idea of a penis being attached to a woman, Dan had never fantasized about what interacting with one would actually be like.

"So, uh," Dan began, as he cleared his throat and shut the door behind them. "How d'you wanna start?"

"Like normal?" Sarah said frowning. "You were all gung ho just a minute ago."

"I didn't say I was backing out or anything," Dan said with a shake of his head. Regret immediately followed as his hangover made it feel as if a bunch of rocks were rattling around inside his skull. "Just that, I mean, I don't really have any experience with this sort of thing. I guess I figured I'd let you have first pick."

That earned him an eye roll from Sarah as she crossed her arms over chest.

"Really setting the mood, Dan. But since this is your 'first time,' I'll let you be the captain."

Looking around them, he panicked for a moment as he realized he didn't immediately see any more condoms lying on his nightstand. He supposed it was only natural that in a world where everyone had a matching set it only made sense that they burned through protection twice as fast, but it didn't mean he didn't feel annoyed that this fact wasn't also accompanied by a larger supply.

It seemed he could be an idiot no matter what universe he was a part of.

Mental note: clean out the local gas station before we all head out of town...

"Might be a bad time to mention I'm not sure if I've got any rubbers left," Dan muttered.

"We did use a lot last night," Sarah acknowledged. "Sorry about that. I'll pay you back sometime. But I think I've got some left in my purse; let me go check."

She walked over to the purse that'd been thrown haphazardly on the desk Dan used for studying and began to rifle through the varying pockets, until Sarah finally withdrew a handful of silver plastic packages.

"You want to jump into things that quickly though?" she asked quizzically, arching a delicate eyebrow. "I figured you might be a little more on edge given, well, everything."

Dan rolled his eyes and pointed to the bulge in his boxers as he began to pull them down around his ankles.

"Does that look like it's going to regret anything to you?"

"Guess not," Sarah chuckled, as she passed him the condom. She leapt onto his bed, her breasts bouncing in time to the mattress' springs as she lay expectantly on her side, head on her palm.

It was do or die now. He had a captive audience.

Dan tore into his one-way ticket to an excellent morning and removed the balloon-like prophylactic as gently as he could so as not to rip it. With a quick shake, air filled it, and he moved it down to his dick... only for a violent bout of nausea to greet him. For one horrifying moment, Dan thought he might very well decorate his dorm with everything he'd eaten at the bar, but he managed to steel himself by gripping onto the side of his bed and gulping air as slowly as possible.

As Dan opened his eyes again he was met with an extremely unimpressed looking Sarah, who had begun to lift herself off of the bed.

"Maybe I should come back some other time. It looks like you need to sleep this one off."

"Hey, look, I'm sorry, okay? It was a really stupid thing to do last night; I definitely won't be drinking that much beer in one place ever again. Just... just give me a second."

"Making that promise before spring break, Dan? Sounds like it's gonna be a pretty bad time for you if you keep to it."

Determined to salvage the situation, dream or not, he sat the condom on the edge of the bed and went over to where Sarah was half-sitting. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he lowered himself to be at eye level with her as slowly as he could, and gently shook her.

"Let me make it up to you. I promise this isn't going to be a massive waste of time, Sarah. I'll..." Dan paused as he mulled over his options. In hindsight, if he'd tried to do something with as much motion as anal right now, it would've ended in disaster no matter if he was in the pitcher or catcher position (it was surprising to him that he didn't feel any fear regarding being underneath Sarah; perhaps it was simply due to the trust he'd come to expect from his partner or maybe it was the talking, but he thought little of the idea other than how much his prostate being men's g-spot was true or not).

"...I'll suck your dick."

Sarah stared at him and gave an enormous snort, laughing into her palm as she realized he was being serious with his offer.

"No offense, but if you could barely put on that," she said and gestured to the object of Dan's humiliation, "I don't see how your gag reflex won't stop you from this. I don't really think I want you puking all over me, Dan."

"I'll be slow, alright? No sudden movements. I'll call it off as soon as I start to feel woozy. Trust me, the liquid courage in me right now is helping."

A beat.

"Besides, if I really did come from somewhere else, then I guess I'm going to need to get used to the new normal."

Sarah frowned at him, her lips pursed together into a tight, pink line. Dan had to admit that he was sure she was running the numbers if she really wanted a sloppy blow job that much to risk getting ralphed on. After what seemed like several minutes, though, Sarah brushed her dark hair behind her ears, and leaned back on her palms, pushing her crotch towards Dan.

"Remember: one shot."

Dan felt his breath hitch in his throat as began to lower himself to eye level with his friend's dick. It'd been one thing to make a promise to pleasure her and another to go ahead and attempt it. As he closed his eyes, he tried to mentally steady himself for what he was about to do.

This isn't gay and even if it was, who gives a shit? You've known Sarah forever. Even if you totally fuck it up, she'll never tell anyone else. Just handle it like you always do when you're with her. She... the old Sarah, anyway, liked it when you used your tongue.

Dan reached out and gripped the warm flesh of his FWB's member, angling the organ toward him, as he opened his mouth. Without much of an idea of where to really start, he darted his tongue around the edges of her head, coating her pinkness with his saliva. The pleasant scent of a citrus soap greeted his nose as Dan continued to lick and suckle her (and he silently thanks whatever deity or deities exist that Sarah's fastidious cleaning habits are a constant). As if on cue, Sarah's dick jumped to life at his ministrations, stiffening even further. The sound of his sheets all around him being scrunched just a little harder than they had been moments ago is all the motivation he needs to keep him on track.

As he released her penis from his grip, he compensated by leaning forward more, opening his jaw as he did so. The tip of Sarah's arousal made its way into his mouth, allowing her dick head to pass slightly past his teeth. Experimentally, he nibbled a bit, careful not to apply too much pressure and he was instantly rewarded with Sarah giving a soft moan in response and the dribble of what he could only assume was precum based on its salty taste.

He had to admit, he was surprised at how much it didn't want to make him spit it out. It wasn't necessarily good but it wasn't as terrible as he thought it might be.

Properly incentivized to continue, Dan took a moment to look up at her. Her head was reclined at an angle, mouth slightly ajar. Her nipples stood out like two sharp pins against her areolas and she'd taken the opportunity to move a hand to play with one of them, flicking it back and forth.

Dan opened his mouth further, letting the underside of Sarah's penis slide its way along his tongue as slowly as he could. Not only would it allow the sensation to last longer, but the feeling of wanting to be sick had returned in . If he went any faster than the pace he was currently at Dan was sure he wouldn't be seeing her for a while. That, and the alien sensation of having something in his mouth he'd never thought before would end up there, meant that he had to get used to having a large object pushed beyond his usual limits. As it went back further and further, Dan did his best to not let his binge drinking get the better of him even if he felt he almost came close to failing once or twice. He wouldn't be conquered by nature's for having a good time.

Then Dan switched gears. As far as he thought was acceptable, he pulled back from her penis, letting her foreskin come forward the motion, before taking as much of Sarah's womanhood as he could once more. Every time he repeated the repetitive motion, Dan picked up his speed just a little more than the last until he felt as if he were some kind of well-oiled machine.

Above him, in what he's surprised to feel is delight, Sarah began to mimic his motions, gyrating her hips forward to stimulate herself even further. Despite the fact that Dan is afraid for a moment she'll go too fast, without even looking at him for reference, Sarah managed to perfectly keep time with each of his 'strokes.'

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit."

It's in that moment that he can feel her begin to slow and Dan tried his best to prepare for the inevitable. Sarah collapsed against his bed, spread eagled as she thrust herself forward one final time, and her seed made its way into him. Unlike the precum, there was more flavor to it; it wasn't salty so much as it was sweet, possibly the result of Sarah's vegetarianism and her love of fruit. Dan had half a mind to pull away, but somehow the idea of suddenly relieving himself of her only brought to mind images of drool, vomit, and jizz making its way onto his floor. Instead it all makes its way into him as Dan slowly pulled away from her, careful to not move too quickly, as the stream he feels finally ends in a trickle.

With a wet pop, Dan removed himself from Sarah and was met with a wide smile, her bright green eyes meeting his hazel ones.

"Let me get you drunk more often, alright?"