DD-Destroy him!

He chooses Healing Vision: Angelic Mix. My favourite song. Damn it, as soon as I see those arrows sloooowly start to rise up the screen, I know I'm not going to be able to resist it. I instinctively test the four pads at the same time as him. Original looks at me weirdly. He's suspicious. Should I really know DDR? Maybe I shouldn't do this.

Ah, fuck it.

When the first Up and Right arrows hit the top, my feet spring to life, unbidden. It's not my fault. DDR is my calling.

bambambambambambam

Both of our feet tap their way between the arrows with careful practiced rhythm. He has close to a full combo, and I'm performing excellently, but falling further and further behind. I wanted to beat him, but frustratingly it looks like that's not going to happen. The combination of the butt plug, my arousal, my anxiety at being stared at by several hungry nerds, and the 11 inches of height I lost a few hours ago is affecting my game.

As we both go for the first spins, I can picture his eyes widening as he glances at me. This shouldn't be possible, he's thinking. And, well, he's right, surely there's no way even the smartest of robots could just workout how to do this well-practiced routine in real time.

As I play, I also run over theoretical questions he might have for me afterwards, and how I might answer them. I reckon I can play it clueless, like I have no idea how I could do that, perhaps my pattern recognition is just really good, or something, and he shouldn't expect me do be able to do this with every game. He might buy that, right?

This could be really good for me! What I'm doing right now is helping him realise that I can be more than just a tortured toy for his sexual amusement. I can be a challenge. A worthy companion.

And then... One minute and fifteen seconds into the track, there comes a moment which unravels my conversation plans. Healing Vision Angelic Mix has a trick step. For a split second, the music stops, and the arrows freeze. And then a moment later, they return to an even faster speed. It's easy once you know it's coming, but anyone playing the track for the first time, no matter how perfect, would misstep here. It's inevitable. There's no way to predict it.

A similar thing happens with the final step of the song. The arrows slow right down to a snail's pace, and what looks like it's going to be two very quick steps together becomes a slower one-two tap, resembling a heartbeat. And yet, I've practiced this track two many damn times, and my legs do the correct timing regardless of what my conscious mind decides would be more sensible.

He instantly turns on me.

"How did you know how to do that?" He demands. He looks absolutely flabbergastered.

"I... Can we go somewhere more private?" I look to buy time, but also I'm pointing out to him that there are now several people starting to crowd round the two highly-skilled show-off DDR players, so this isn't the best place to have a conversation with your supposedly blank slate sex doll about how she can play DDR.

I use the precious few seconds I have as I am guided to a more secluded part of the arcade to try and think up what the hell I'm going to say.

"Explain." He demands. "There's nothing in the manuals about gaming capabilities."

"I... Buttslut was hoping you could tell her." I say hopelessly.

Apparently this is convincing enough to prompt him to have a good think.

"Oh, I get it." He says, gravely, a few moments later. "They scanned my brain before creating you."

Oh my god, I'm busted already. I'm alive for three hours and I'm already doomed to be boxed like a cylon.

"Their technology must be even more advanced than I realised. They must have been able to use my brain image to influence your traits. Perhaps this is to do with the loophole they were talking about."

Oh my god. He's so close, but so far. He's pretty much hit the nail on the head already, but it's just so unfathomable to him that this small foxy Japanese chick in front of him is literally him, that he can't come to that conclusion on his own even when it's staring him in the face.

Thank god.

"Buttslut is sure that you are right." I reassure him.

That was too close, and I am a total idiot for trying it.