Cool, cool mountain

We slowly trudged through the snow. The blizzard harried us mercilessly.

And with us, I mean me. Because not one of my comrades cared about the raging cold in the slightest. On the contrary, these psychopaths seemed to like it.

Sylphid was taking point, wading through the knee-deep snow and creating a trail for us like it was nothing. I came next, followed by Sanakia bringing up the rear.

Oh, Lucky? She wasn’t even in formation, instead seemingly skipping along on top of the snow with ridiculous ease as if she was a fairy playing on a snow covered field and not a deathly mountain.

Our first order of business was to find shelter, Sylphid declared. That at least sounded like a smart, sensible choice. Technically, we don’t really have anything to do on Floor 40, so our main objective was really to just find the stairs to the lower floor and advance as quickly as possible. But trying to do so in this storm would be suicide.

Humiliation my ass, what the hell is so humiliating about freezing to ****?

“H-How is all of this inside a d-dungeon?”, I asked, rubbing my body in an attempt to at least retain some heath.

We entered the sewers by early twilight, but wherever the hell this place was it was the deepest of night, with only a pale moon providing some illumination through the storm.

Visibility was hence extremely poor. Even so, the illusion that we were somewhere deep in a mountainous wilderness was extremely well maintained. I even thought I could see the dark shapes of massive peaks in the distance.

“Because it’s a funky dungeon!”, Lucky answered with a cheerful laugh.

“Yep! Oh! Oh! Wanna know something else that’s funky, Handsome?”, Sylphid grinned back at me, her cheeks flush and red.”This will rock your socks off!”

No. I like to keep my socks on and I like you to pay attention so we aren’t getting jumped by a bloodthirsty snow bunny or falling into a ravine!

Sylphid ignored my thoughts and blatantly started walking backwards. “Remember how I told you how nobody in here ever dies, right?”

“You did”, Sanakia agreed. “It is most peculiar.”

Sylphid nodded. “So, what do you think happens, if you were to, say, freeze to dead?”

That is a very good and topical question!

“Is it something similar to the revival spell?”,I suggested. “Are we just brought back to live?”

“Kinda”, Sylphid agreed. “Basically, the moment you are in mortal danger the dungeon teleports you straight to its entrance. Even heals any wounds or status ailments you may have suffered as a bonus.”

“Huh. That is weirdly considerate from..uh...it.”

“But!”

I knew there was a catch.

“If that happens, you receive something called a **** Penalty!”

Sounds lovely.

“The **** penalty is an extremely powerful curse”, Sylphid continued her lore dump. “Waaaaaay beyond what humans are capable. Heck, even beyond the Kalars. Nobody was ever able to remove a **** Penalty curse.”

“Impossible!”, Sanakia gasped. “Surely the holy Pope Moulaloux would be able to dispel any fell curses!”

“Old Man Moula? No way!”, Lucky laughed. “That curse is a big meanieface. You need at least a second class God to dispel it.”

Sanakia let out another gasp at that blatant disrespect at the most revered holy figure on the continent. But her fear from the Balance Breaker seemed to keep her in check.

“Yep”, Sylphid agreed with her ****. “Knew someone who got afflicted, experienced adventurer type. Tried everything to get rid of it. Zeth’s high mages, Kalars and yes also the Pope. No dice. Not even a Devil Deal could got him out of that one.”

“A Devil Deal?”, I asked. Perhaps I shouldn’t be the one saying this but what kind of horrible curse could make someone consider a Devil Deal?

“As you can guess the curse is of the humiliation variety”, Sylphid gladly explained. “As for what happens, it’s random. The guy I knew got his dick transported into an alternate dimension. But here’s the funky thing: He can still feel it, even pee with it. And every so often he feels the sensation of it getting played around by...something.

HOLY FUCK!

“That does sound funky!”, Lucky laughed. “Now I want to try dying just to see what happens!”

Please don’t.

“So, basically...don’t die?”, I asked.

“Yup”, Sylphid nodded. “You probably end up with at least one or two humiliating curses through our treck but these low level cursescan be easily removed at Rasheul Cathedral. So, no worries there.”

Why only me?

...

Thankfully, Lucky’s luck would prove immensely valuable in here. Because sure enough, after about half an hour or so of trudging through the snow, she spotted a cabin in the distance. Naturally, we immediately made a beegirlline for it.

The small wooden cabin was almost entirely covered by snow, Sylphid had to smash a window to gain us entry.

“Shelter found!”, declared the martial artist as she jumped through the window “See? That wasn’t so bad.”

I don’t feel my legs.

The inside of the cabin wasn’t particularly big, Just a single room, with some furniture scattered about and a large fireplace. In the corner were some stairs moving down to what I presume was the ground floor.

The place looked pretty abandoned if it wasn’t for the fire burning in the chimney. I moved so close to it, the flames were almost touching me.

“My Lord”, Sanakia looked me up and down with a concerned look. “I mislike your current countenance. Are you perchance cold?”

What gave it away? My incessant shivering?

“Yeah...he looks a bit freezing”, Sylphid agreed as she carefully observed me. “Hmm…”

“W-what?”, I asked, teeth clattering.

“Handsome, try moving your arms.”

I looked at Sylphid with confusion but obeyed.

…

Huh? My movement felt sluggish, it took me considerable effort just to wave my arm around.

“Thought so”, Sylphid nodded. “You are suffering from the freeze ailment, Handsome.”

“Oh no!”, Sanakia gasped in shock. “My Lord, don’t do that!”

“Y-you’re kidding me…” I responded. As a Helmanian I should have a natural resistance to the cold.

This s-shouldn’t…

“If not cured this only gets worse”, Sylphid added. “Let’s get him out of his clothes, pronto!”

“H-hey!”

Before I had even time to protest I had multiple girls jumping me. Sylphid made the tactical decision of clamping a hand over my mouth while Sanakia and Lucky pulled my pants down.

It was impressive how well these three worked together when it came to getting me naked.

“Mission Naked Handsome accomplished”, declared Sylphid, while Lucky held up my boxers like a trophy.

“Y-You…” With how stiff my body was, all I could do was clumsily cover myself up while the girls leered at me.

“M-My Lord, please remove your hands”, Sanakia blubbered. “The shame of being naked in front of us will warm you up.”

“Good Idea”, Sylphid agreed. “Hands to your side, Handsome.”

“L-Like H-hell...”

“I need to expect your extremities”, Sylphid said while rolling her eyes. “You want to suffer from frostbite there of all places?”

“Please comply with the Doctor, my Lord!”, Sanakia gasped. “This is not the time for shame. Your manhood is at stake!”

Ugh...reluctantly I conceded.

Sylphid went immediately down on eye level with my crotch. Sanakia joined her not soon after. And Lucky, of course, too.

…

Having three girls staring so intently at my penis was kinda...

“What is your prognosis, doctor?”, Sanakia asked after a while.

“Hmmm….” Sylphid rubbed her chin. “This penis is a penis belonging to a Helmanian young adult. It is below average in size but still a very nice dick. It is currently shriveled up due to cold and even smaller then usual.”

“It’s very cute!”, Lucky commented.

“This penis has ejaculated 5110 times so far. The Top high scorers are 1) Hebi-san 2) Mari Beta 3) Aiju 4) Gil...”

JUST GET ME CURED ALREADY!

“Alright, alright”, Sylphid chuckled and stood up again. “First order of business, get someone to warm your body.

Before long I found myself naked, huddled under many fur blankets and in front of the cozy fireplace.

And with Sanakia under the same blanket. Also naked, of course.

“My Lord”, the Sexy-Knight softly admonished me with blushing cheeks. “You need to take better care of yourself. Unlike us Galmons, Humans are delicate, fragile creatures that don’t do well with **** temperatures.”

“Nah, that’s just Handsome being Handsome.”

No, I’m pretty sure you’re the abnormal one!

Sylphid laughed. “Alright, you two have fun, we go have a look around the rest of this abode. Sana, make sure to squish his face into your boobs nice and tight, alright?”

No...don’t do... mpppffff!

The Galmon did exactly that while hugging me tight. Being sandwiched between the Sexy-Knights body and the blazing fire to me back, I actually felt somewhat warming up again.

Too bad, I was also suffocating in the process.

“Hmm….” Sanakia sighed and snuggled up against me even tighter. “My poor Lord. Even your manhood is all shriveled up.”

I finally regained enough control over my body to escape out of boob prison and took a deep breath. “Y-You don’t have to comment about that…”

But it was true that things weren’t exactly working as they should downstairs. Which perhaps was for the best. With the way Sanakia was hugging me I was in a rather dangerous position.

However, as it were there was nothing to be done but wait.