Freezeezy Peak

“Score!” Sylphid cheerfully shouted from downstairs. While Sanakia and I were warming up, she and Lucky went through the cabin, scouring it for any sort of valuables. They came back up the stairs with two sets of cold weather gear, a floor map and perhaps most interestingly, a treasure chest.

“Can we really just take this?”, I asked skeptically. No matter how you look at it. This cabin had to belong to somebody.

“Oh, Handsome, you are so cute”, Sylphid laughed. “That’s how dungeon diving works!”

“That’s how it works!”, parroted Lucky.

“This place here is a rest room. Adventurers can spend days or even weeks in a dungeon and these are the only places were you can stay the night without the fear of getting ambushed. They also tend to come with a bunch of supplies.”

I see. Would be nice to just take it easy, but of course we did not have the luxury to stay here.

“Now then Lucky”, Sylphid gestured towards the chest. “If you would do the honors.”

Chests on such a deep floor are almost always trapped. And we don’t have anyone with us who could disarm these. I felt a bit bad to rely on Lucky for this but we had ****. Her luck should prevent anything too bad happening to her.

Lucky certainly didn’t seem to mind as she immediately went to open the chest. The moment she did, a black smoke erupted from it and flew directly towards me. Or to be more precise: Into my mouth!

“Gaaaahh!!!!”

Buff Spell: Double Treasure rate!

“Uh, nice one Lucky!”, Sylphid grinned. “That will be super useful!”

“A-are you alright, my Lord?”, Sanakia looked at me with a concerned expression.

“I...I think?” I groaned and coughed. That felt absolutely nasty. “What just happened?”

“You just got a buff spell, Handsome. Any treasure chest you open will now have double the items”, Sylphid explained.

“Lucky you!”, Lucky laughed.

“Me? But hold on why…”

“Because I made you the party leader, you dork”, Sylphid laughed and booped me on the nose. “Any buffs and curses will be applied directly to you, regardless of who triggers them.”

“Good for you, my Lord!”

No, not good! Not good at all!

“And with this handy map!”, Sylphid slapped said map. “We now know not only where the remaining treasure are but also the stairs to the next floor!”

As far as I was concerned this map was far more valuable. “In that case we shouldn’t waste any more time and…”

“Handsome”, Sylphid sighed. “Did you somehow manage to forget that you are currently suffering from a status ailment?”

Uh…

“But I’m already feeling better…”

The martial artist shook her head. “If we don’t get this cured completely you will only start freezing up again. Eventually you won’t be able to move at all.”

“Unable to move at all?”, Sanakia gasped and hugged me harder. “You mean my Lord would be...completely d-defenseless, no matter what someone does to him?”

I don’t like the look in Sanakia’s eyes.

“Hold on. Don’t we have some cure items for that?”, I asked.

“We do…”, Sylphid admitted. “But these things are pretty expensive. Besides, you’re already halfway cured. So, are you sure you want to use one when you can cure it for free?”

Ugh…

The all-cure Maria purchased costs 200 gold per item. It was certainly more economical then buying the two dozen or so status ailments cures individually but it also meant we shouldn’t squander them.

“So basically you need to cuddle with cute Sana here for a little bit longer. About as long as it takes for us to get the remaining treasure on this floor.”

...

Before I could even begin to protest, Sylphid and Lucky, now wearing proper cold protection, were off again.

...did Sylphid just want to go treasure hunting? Argh, we don’t have time for this!

Silence descended upon the cabin. Well, as silent as it can get with the howling wind outside.

...

I really wish Sylphid didn’t broke that stupid window.

“How are you feeling, my Lord?”, Sanakia asked concerned. “Are you still cold?”

“I can manage”, I responded and promptly shivered.. “I’m used to the cold.”

If something like this gets me that would be ridiculously shameful.

“Ah, just a moment. I have an idea!”

Suddenly eager, the Galmon jumped out of the furs in all her nude glory.

She then grabbed the bed in the corner and pushed it against the broken window, plopping it up against it.

“Hehe”, the Galmon nodded proudly. “This should take care of that exposure!”

“Y-Yeah…”

Sanakia suddenly seemed to realize that she was indeed completely naked, squealed and rushed back towards me and under the blankets. “H-How indecent my Lord…”

Sheesh.

But indecent or not, Sanakia just kept snuggling with me. I suppose this wasn’t so bad. At least the cabin was nice and cozy and the howling wind outside in combination with the crackling fire felt strangely soothing. And with my body freezing like that I won’t get an erection either.

Eventually Sanakia nodded. “This brings back memories of my previous life.”

“Your what now?”

The Sexy-Knight smiled. “With my previous Lord and Sir Mueller. We used to explore dungeons all the time.”

Oh, these two bastards.

Well I suppose Sir Mueller was alright.

Still, what they did to her was unforgivable.

…

I stared at the Galmon. “I never asked but...do you wish that I keep calling you Sanakia?”

It must be a constant reminder of her past.

And yet, Sanakia nodded. “Yes, my Lord. That name holds great importance to me. It is a testament to my holy vow.”

“It is?”

“I was named after Sanakia Drelshkaf. A noble knight who campaigned to the floating city of Ylapu a century ago to reclaim the Holy Blade of Nikkou.”

Ah...

Even I heard of that place. Would be hard not to. Ylapu was a giant island, floating high above Leazas. It once belonged to the Holy Magic Sect, the ancient empire that united all of humanity. Helman sometimes calls it a secret weapon of Leazas but that was probably just propaganda.

Sanakia continued. “Sanakia Drelshkaf perished there, along with her expedition. It is a great honor to be named after such a valiant knight. I do not wish to sully that.”

“Of course”, I nodded. So, I guess they put some effort into coming up with Sanakia’s name. And calling her Sexy-Knight would definitely feel weird. Although I pretty much do the same with Hebi-san and Valkyrie.

“To honor her memory I must finish her quest, my Lord!”, Sanakia spoke determined. “It is my duty and my holy vow! I will travel to the floating city and reclaim the Holy Blade Nikkou!”

I see. So, this was more then just a random flight of fancy to her.

…

“Uh...Sanakia?”

“Yes, my Lord?”

“The holy Blade Nikkou is on Ylapu?”

The Sexy-Knight nodded. “Yes, my Lord. It is written in the holy scriptures, which are infallible.”

…

“And what is our mission here?”

Sanakia chuckled. “Did you perchance forget, my Lord? It is to reclaim the legendary Holy Blade Nikkou which is hidden deep within Rasheul Labyrinth!”

…

…

…

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

At last, realization dawned.

“Oh, b-but my Lord! The holy scriptures might have been fallible! The holy blade is in this labyrinth, definitely! That drunk knight had a very godly aura about him, he was most certainly speaking true!”

…

Haaaaa...

What am I even doing? Won’t Sanakia be just as disappointed if we get to Floor 42 and find nothing? The sooner I confront her with the truth the better.

I took a deep breath. “Sanakia, listen to me. Nikkou...”

Buff Spell: Rare treasure chance increased by 10%

Once again the nasty black smoke invaded, this time through my nostrils and made me break out in a coughing fit. Wow, that was even worse.

It appears Sylphid and Lucky already found the next treasure chest. That was fast. Or perhaps as excepted from the Speed Demon. And another buff again. Not that it will amount to anything as long as I won’t open any chests. Seriously, it’s kind of a waste. But then again, we aren’t here for treasures in the first place.

“My Lord?”, Sanakia blinked at me. “You wished to say something?”

Right. Enough stalling. To fool around like this feels completely wrong. Time to free Sanakia from her delusions.

But once again I was interrupted by smoke. Although this time instead of black it was red.

Curse: Touch starved

(will require to have skinship with someone or will suffer from the Freeze status ailment)

...eh?

WHAT THE HELL!

“My Lord!”, Sanakia gasped in shock and blushed. “You wish to be touched that much? H-How indecent!”

YOU THINK I WANT THAT?

What are these two dumbasses doing out there? I thought if Lucky opens a chest she shouldn’t activate any traps!

That’s it! We are getting out here the moment these two return!

Curse: Lay it bare

(the cursed is unable to wear any non skimpy clothes)

...

SCREW IT!

I just us a returnwood and leave this…

ah...Sylphid took them all with her, didn’t she?

Buff Spell: Double Treasure rate!

Blessing: Pervert power

(gain a status increase the skimpier your outfit is)

Buff Spell: Treasure chest per floor +1

Blessing: Cold immunity

(the blessed is immune to cold, no matter the clothing, does not negate the Touch starved curse)

WHAT THE HELL IS THIIIIIIS? THIS IS WAY TOO CONVENIENT! SCREW YOU DUNGEON AND SCREW YOU SYLPHID!

…

..

.

“We’re baaaaack!”, announced a way too pleased Sylphid after an hour or so had passed. “What a haul! Damn Lucky, you’re like a maze, because you are amaaaaaaaazing!”

She grinned and patted Lucky’s head. The Balance Breaker giggled in response and shook some of the snow from her hood.

I on the other hand wasn’t very amused. At all. “Sylphid. I want to go home.”

“Eeeeeh?”, Sylphid gasped “Now hold on just a hot second there, Handsome! You have no idea what amaaaaaaaazing treasures we found!”

YES I DO!

“A bunch of it were just boring buffs”, Lucky admitted with a pout. “But we also got this!”

The Balance Breaker proudly held up some clothes.

If you can even call these things that.

Snow Kyan Kyan suit(ultra rare) (+15 Evasion)

Snow Kyan Kyan bunny ears (ultra rare) (+10 Evasion)

…

If I had to use one word to describe them it would be: Skimpy.

“And the best part about them, Handsome”, Sylphid grinned at me with that familiar grin of hers. “They are uni sex.”