Be Honest

“Is this how we’re going to spend every day now?” Stella asks happily.

Stella’s cuddling you on the couch in Becca’s lounge area near Becca’s gigantic window overlooking the city. You had just arrived from your apartment after you and Dana had another day of working on your book, and Stella immediately called for you to sit with her. She’s sitting on your lap now, resting her back on your chest, while you both gaze out the window and marvel at the city’s skyline.

Right now, it’s just you and Stella. Becca and Viv mentioned they’ll be staying in the restaurant late to make sure the finer details for their Grand Opening are ironed out. Brooke, Tanya, and Maddy are back at the apartment building helping Brooke finish up her move into Viv’s guest bedroom. You’re just here at Becca’s to pick up Stella and Cassie, who both decided to spend their day here in Becca’s penthouse after everyone left earlier this morning. Since Cassie’s still nowhere to be found, you and Stella decided to lounge for a moment while waiting for her.

“I take it you had a good day?” You ask her.

“Oh, the best!” Stella immediately answers. “I worked out at a private home gym blasting my own workout music through speakers instead of headphones, watched a movie by myself in an empty home theater with homemade buttered popcorn, ate new and exotic food prepared by a veteran home cook… plotted world domination as I looked down on the city from this ivory tower. You know, typical billionaire stuff.” Stella lists jokingly.

“Let me guess, you watched Shrek.” You joke.

“Shrek 2.” Stella responds, and you have to chuckle at trying to make a distinction.

“The best Shrek.” You reply playfully, knowing that was the immediate statement that would exit your daughter’s lips, which gets an appreciative smile from her.

“Like I said, typical billionaire stuff.” Stella jokes, making you laugh.

“What about you, Daddy? How was another day of working with Dana?” Stella asks.

“It was good. We’re getting into a rhythm. I’m basically starting from scratch, but at least I can honestly say that I’ve fully moved on from worrying about salvaging the trash I wrote beforehand and just accepting that I’m starting anew.” You answer, which gets a wider smile from Stella.

“Hear, hear.” Stella replies. “To ‘starting anew’.” She adds, while raising her hand like she’s holding an imaginary glass.

“To ‘starting anew’.” You respond, clinking her imaginary glass with yours.

…

“Speaking of ‘starting anew’, when are you going out with Paige?” Stella suddenly asks out of the blue.

“That was a bad segue.” You tell her.

“No, it wasn’t. It’s the perfect analogy!” Stella says defensively. “Now that you’ve accepted that you’re starting anew in your writing, it’s the perfect parallel to what you’re doing post-divorce! Well, ‘who you’re doing’ post-divorce… or is it whomst?” Stella clarifies.

“I already have seven girlfriends whomst I’m doing.” You argue. “That I’m perfectly happy with already, might I add.” You continue, and when you glance at Stella, she’s just staring at you like she’s tired of this argument already.

“Dad.” Stella just says flatly, and you immediately understand what she’s saying.

“I know, I know.” You concede, knowing the next two words coming out of her is probably her catchphrase of ‘Be Happy’. “Look, Paige has been incredibly busy working for Becca, so it’s not like there’s an opportunity to ask her out.” You tell Stella.

“Dad.” Stella repeats, just like before.

“You need to stop doing that.” You tell her with a chuckle.

“She just wants to hook up! She doesn’t want to date! Just drag her into a fucking room the next time you see her and let her release some stress!” Stella argues.

“Language.” You playfully remind her, trying to avoid another one of these conversations.

“I say worse shit when you’re fucking me, and you’ve never reminded me about my language then.” Stella argues.

“Good point. I’ll start doing that from now on.” You continue to joke.

“UGH.” Stella grunts in annoyance while rolling her eyes, but she immediately cracks a chuckle after you chuckle at her reaction. You and her have talked about this in the past, but now that you’ve gotten seven girlfriends (including her); you’d have thought she’d be less encouraging, nay pushy, about the subject.

“Why are you so invested in me sleeping with more women?” You teasingly ask her, but it doesn’t change the fact that you are still curious to hear her answer. “And don’t just say your catchphrase this time.” You add.

“Because I know you want to.” Stella bluntly answers, taking you by surprise. “You try to hide it, but I know you’re more into it than you let on.” Stella adds. She takes a pause to allow you to think about what she said, before continuing to prove her point.

“If you really wanted to, you could’ve easily stopped with just dating Cassie. When the two of us suggested going for Tanya too, it didn’t take much convincing for you to go for it. The same goes for Brooke and Maddy. Heck, dating Becca and Viv were entirely your choices to make. You could have turned them down if you wanted to… but you didn’t.” Stella points out.

“Wait, did you not want me to—” You start to ask, but Stella immediately understands without you having to finish the question.

“No! That’s not what I’m trying to say. Of course I wanted you to date them!” Stella answers emphatically. “I’m saying it proves my point that you’re more than just curious of what having more can be like. You want more. You need more.” Stella explains.

“I knew it. Cassie knew it. Tanya knew it. You knew it.” Stella continues. “That’s the reason why we always ask what you think about other girls, and to just go for it if you like them. We know you want to. You just don’t want to openly admit it for some reason.” Stella adds, causing you to take another pause to think about her point.

“The only time you’ve been openly honest about it was when you confessed to me that you were just thinking with your dick when you bought the **** trait.” Stella points out.

“That was one time! And it was for a chance at my childhood crush!” You defensively react, but laugh to undercut the emotion in your tone.

“Really?” Stella asks teasingly, before wiggling her ass on your crotch to prove her point that you were definitely thinking more with your dick when you succumbed towards your attraction towards your own daughter. “What about me then?”

“Okay. Two times.” You jokingly correct yourself.

“Don’t forget about Courtney.” Stella points out.

“Okay. We needed the points then… and you’re the one who suggested it, need I remind you?” You respond.

“Did you really just do it for the points? You were going to the club later that night anyway. You could have gotten more girls at the club if you really didn’t want to do anything with Courtney. You could have supported Brooke and put your foot down. Instead, Brooke had to adjust to a suggestion you could have easily shot down.” Stella argues, and before you could try and argue that the situation got out of hand after Brooke decided to push through with it, Stella continues, “You guys made me listen in on that romp, remember? You wanted to do stuff to Courtney. I could hear it in your voice. In your words. You sounded totally different that day. Like you enjoyed it… having power over her. Like you wanted to prove a point after all the goading and trash talking she did.”

“You were definitely thinking with your dick then, and I bet it was thinking nothing would make you happier than shutting Courtney up with it.” Stella finally finishes her argument.

Wait… Is… Is that true?

“Look, you already promised you'd do what makes you happy so you can ‘be happy’. I just don’t want it to feel like we’re the ones forcing you to do stuff to be happy.” Stella tells you.

“Not gonna lie, I feel like you’re gaslighting me into thinking I only think with my dick.” You tell her honestly, but softening the accusation by saying it jokingly.

“What? How’d you get that!?” Stella reacts, laughing. “My entire point was you’re not being completely honest with yourself when it comes to what you want. Like there’s a voice inside you that sounds like ‘us’ that says you’re being too greedy, and that you need to actually hear it from us every single time that you’re not. We already told you, we love and support your decisions unconditionally, Dad.” Stella explains.

“You have to be honest with yourself that the only one holding you back from fully realizing happiness… is you. You’ve always had the power to choose; and I say all that because… well, how can you actually be happy when there’s that inner conflict inside you? That you think what you want is wrong, when all of us already told you and agree that it isn’t?” Stella asks, saying it sweetly in order for you to understand that she truly just cares for you and your happiness.

You’re left stunned after hearing her actual point. Not because you find her completely off base, but because you don’t. Stella’s right, of course. You’ve always had the power to choose. Their suggestions or not, everything she listed out were your choices.

“Hey~, I’m sorry for dropping truth bombs all of a sudden.” Stella suddenly apologizes, probably noticing how unresponsive you’ve become.

“It’s fine, baby. I just… I guess, like you said, I need to come to terms with what it is that I actually want and not needing you girls to push me to do it first.” You tell her.

“Maybe I need to edit my catchphrase specifically for you.” Stella says with a chuckle. “I thought it went without saying that when I tell you to ‘Be Happy’, ‘Be Honest’ is a part of that too. So ‘Be Honest’, Dad. Okay?” Stella adds.

“I promise, baby.” You reply, returning the sweet smile she’s giving you.

Stella closes her eyes after hearing your answer. She gets comfortable again and rests the back of her head on your shoulder. It takes you a moment, but you decide to heed her advice and do what’ll make you happiest right now. You tilt her head so she can face you, and you give her a kiss on the lips to assure her further that you’re listening to her…

And listening to yourself.