As Little Risk as Possible, You are Still Level 1

Thankfully, you were created as a goblin or, Gods forbid, a beastkin, so while you got some looks from your drawn up hood, no one really questioned the elf walking among them... to their own detriment.

It wasn't a very crowded marketplace, but there were enough people that you could sort of seep into the crowd, wandering fingers testing a coin purse's fastenings.

Occasionally, you'd spot a more armored individual, marking them as either an adventurer or a roaming guard, neither of which you wanted to try pickpocketing just yet.

Wandering around the outside of the meandering crowd, you found yourself in front of a market stall, a farmgirl manning it with all the care that a bored teenager can.

"Nice melons." You commented, the redheaded girl giving you a 'seriously' glare as she smirked, hooking a finger on the dipping collar of her shirt.

"Thanks, but everyone agrees that my peaches are the best tasting they've ever had." She flirted?

"Oh, okay, umm, I'll have to come back and try one before I leave." You replied haltingly as you stepped back into the crowd, refusing to let the farmgirl see your rising blush. Kids these days!

It wasn't long however, that you realized you were just walking in circles, testing the same bags repeatedly, but no one had been lax with their money today, coin purses were securely tied not to the back of the hip, but right in front. You'd been **** to nearly look someone in the face as you robbed them in broad daylight!

Or at least you would if you hadn't remembered your nifty magic trick.

You wiggled your fingers, magic covering them as a ghostly hand appeared before you, slowly reaching out as you tested it, patting a passing female guard on the bum. She paused, looking around but quickly shook it off, resuming her patrol as you nodded.

Unfortunately, you hadn't felt anything, well that wasn't completely true, you felt resistance, so you probably couldn't use your Mage Hand through a solid wall, but you hadn't planned to.

Still, a glowing hand could stand out in a crowd, and it wasn't as if floating coin purses were any less conspicuous, so you'd need a distraction.

Luckily, you had just the one in mind as you wandered closer to the salacious farmgirl from earlier, still as bored as ever before. Well, you were about to enhance her day as your Mage Hand reached out, untying her shoes, but that was only the first step as you made sure she wasn't looking before tipping her stall, sending all the melons on display rolling into the crowd of people.

"My melons!" She cried, suddenly full of energy as she chased after them, her cries capturing people's attention as she scooped up two fruits.

Then came step 2, as you reached out with your Mage Hand tugging hard on her loose shirt as it ripped down the middle, coming off her top in tatters, leaving her completely exposed in the middle of the crowd.

Men started pushing towards her, no doubt with the same hard-on you had as the girl looked for an escape, clutching the two possibly cantaloupes or honeydews to her naked tits.

Which brought step 3, the finale of your little show as you took advantage of the girl's attention being on the advancing men and covering her chest to tie her shoes together and playfully spank her ass. She leapt away from your hand, only to trip over her own shoes, falling chest first on to the stonework, smashing the melons with her chest as red juice started running down her form.

Needless to say, it was bedlam as men took it as a sign to remove their willies, women either tried to cover the girl with their bodies or point judgingly, the girl herself began to cry and you felt mad for a moment... but it was squashed by the feeling of multiple coin purses being lifted, and subsequently emptied into your own coin purse.

You only had maybe five minutes of confusion and madness before the guards arrived to reclaim order, but it was more than enough time to slip away with a perverse smile.

Plenty of gold, and a free peepshow to boot made you happy, a feeling that was about to be kiboshed like that girl's hopes and dreams.

You checked your status, expecting EXP to be filling the bar, but it was still at 0, so maybe you had to make it back home with your haul for it to count. So, you headed for the village edge, expecting to leave as quickly as possible.

WORLD QUEST ISSUED: GREENHORN VILLAGE: THIEF FENTHRYS HAS STOLEN 50 GP! STOP HIM BEFORE HE ESCAPES THE VILLAGE!

TIME REMAINING: 00:59:40

"What the fucking hell?!" You swore as you started sprinting for the forest just ahead. "And what's this about an hour to stop me, I'm already gone losers!" You declared as you smashed face first into a bright red wall right at the village limits.

Shaking yourself as you stood up, you noticed the giant countdown on the wall as you looked back spotting a single man running towards you, yelling for help as he pulled a sword.

"Oh sh-"