A walk in the forest (without consequences)

Chapter 21

Megan is still looking down and her expression is as dark as the darkest night. You still have about an hour's walk to fix this or you are sure that the time here at the lake will be **** for her. And you still have to talk to Maureen, but you better not mention that now.

You look at the path that runs some distance from the road along the lake. The weather is wonderfull, it is warm and the birds are chirping. But the clouds that come from Megan darken your day. The shitty thing is that you already know the problem. You, too, already had girlfriends that shown what - if not love, then deep affection - looks like. And of course you feel the same way. So where's the problem? The problem is that you have feelings for Millie as well, and she probably has feelings for you as well. Sometimes you blame your stepmother for having created such perfect creatures.

"Megan..." you start but she doesn't respond. She just looks down and is somber. So it starts again, the dance on the volcano. Even before you are aware of your actions, your hand tenderly touches hers. At first she flinches, but you don't give up, get a few inches closer to her while walking and attack again. And this time it is enough that she wraps her hand around your fingers. So you go on for a few minutes until you notice that Megan is looking at you from the corner of her eye with her head still bowed. When you turn to her, she quickly looks down again. You come to an area of the forest that flows into a sandy slope at the end of which is the lake. You can already see your house some distance away. You sit with her on a bench on the side of the road and you put an hand on her leg. She covers your hand again, but is still looking down.

"Do you know what I learned when my girlfriend broke up with me last year?" No reaction, but it doesn't matter. "Always keep your head up. When you do that, you see more of the sky and your thoughts are not in the dirt below, but fly above the clouds.“ You have to smile. It is always difficult to explain your strange worldview to others. "It really works. It's kind of in our DNA. Has something to do with hunters in the Stone Age.” Unfortunately, the attempt does not work. You turn to her on the bench and hold her other hand. As with Millie, you raise your hands and get Megan to look you in the eye. "I'm your big brother Megan." And that alone causes her tears to flow. You clench your teeth, but you have to go through that now. Better now than if she really falls in love with you. It's already too late for you anyway. "You don't have to say anything now. Just listen. I am your big brother and I know you. I know exactly what's going on in you and I know that even better after our last conversation.” Now Megan looks at you hopefully. "Shit Megan, I'll be happy to tell you again. You and Millie are the prettiest, funniest, smartest and warmest girls I know. Being friends with you is the best thing that ever happened to me. And be sure of one thing: Whoever does not fall in love with you is brain ****. A complete maniac. A fool. Everything together.” You squeeze her hands firmly and hope that she understands the wink. Otherwise she thinks you're a fool... "I know what's going on inside of you. And I know how bad it can be to eat something that you really want to get rid of. " Now Megan is looking at you with big eyes. She wants to say something, but you put a finger on her lips and she immediately falls silent. You smile slightly apologetically but she just looks at you and yes, that's love. Not even you are that blind. “Every man can consider himself lucky to have you, because you are everything a man needs." You take a deep breath and her expression becomes darker again. “As a man and a brother, I'm lucky to have two of the same kind. Can you imagine how lucky I feel every morning when I know I can spend the day with you?” Now there are more tears and her lower lip is trembling and wet with tears and saliva. "You can have any man you want because you are the greatest person there is. And I will always be there to help you with everything that comes up in your life." Megan sobs louder and louder and you hurry to the end. It shreds all your atoms to treat your sister like that. Especially because you feel the same way as she do.

"You are such a great person Megan. And everyone can lose sight of the world sometimes. We are a team. You. I. Millie. We are three. And I know with absolute certainty that you don't want to harm any of us.” You take another deep breath and press her hands harder. This could be the end here, but you owe it to your sister to tell her the truth somehow. "The thing is that I don't see a way that this won't happen, and that holds me back. The responsibility for both of you. Nothing less. I hope you understand that."

Then you hug her and she practically falls towards you. For minutes the tears flow like a waterfall. You have to think of Millie and the way you held her when she needed you. What am I doing here? First Millie, then Megan. We are not all grown up enough to deal with our feelings. And somehow you hate yourself for being the reason why the two feel the way they feel. Isn't it better to make them happy ... and you too? What is all this shit about? If they punish someone then you. Your whole chest is wet with tears and Megan clings almost panicly to you as if she was afraid that you could evaporate.

And so you make a decision and take the next step on your way that you now know is the only right one. What good is it to protect them if it only brings tears? You can't switch off your feelings, but expect them to? You shake your head. No! You, too, embrace Megan tighter.

"Megan, look at me." You somehow manage to put just the right amount of rigor and kindness in your voice so that the girl lifts her head in your arms. You look at her for a long time and read her face as she can read yours. Maybe that made it so difficult for her? How to fight something you both know the other one wants. You see how her face changes because yours changes too. And when Megan starts sobbing again it doesn't hurt so much anymore because you two understand each other now. Again she buries her face in your chest and sobs miserably. She clings to you tightly and her fingers clench your shirt just to relax again. As if she didn't know whether to fondle or hold you fast. And you now know your job.

"It's okay my lovely little Wombat. No more hiding. No secrets. We'll get through this all together.” You fondle her hair and dishevel her hairstyle. With luck, the ribbon stays in place. "I don't want to ask you to deny anything anymore. I'm here for you. And when we have problems, we face them together. As always.” So, you stay seated a long time and you don't stop hugging and petting your sister. And then comes what had to come. And you welcome it.

• No more hiding. No more secrets. You can find the truth at: https://www.patreon.com/writingshark