Clarity

Chapter 22

"I love you Finn." Megan mumbles these words into your chest, but for you they are spoken with absolute clarity. It is a statement. There may be some nervousness in her voice, but nothing can change it. "I've loved you for years. I tried to suppress it, but it doesn't work. I can't." She rubs her face against you. "You are the love of my life." She lifts her head and it is almost funny to see her like this. Hey eyes swollen up like the ones of Millie, her cheeks wet and her nose red. Strands of hair stick to her face and lie over her eyes. And a small drop of snot hangs from the tip of her nose. Her eyes flicker when she looks at you, but she never looked more beautiful to you than at this moment.

"And I love you Megan." You have to laugh when her face brightens like the morning after a heavy storm at night. She must know how you feel. But you realize that she feels the same in your words as you do in her. You have to laugh in relief and she also smiles and puts her head on your shoulder. Loudly she pulls up the snot and you stroke her hair again. "I have no idea who of us started first, but I'm glad that we have finally spoken this out." Megan visibly relaxes now that she knows how you feel. It's a good sign. She draws patterns on your wet chest with her finger.

"I know you're in love with Millie too." You exhale in relief and sadness.

"Then you also understand why I have resisted my feelings for so long. I don't want to hurt either of you and now I hurt both of you. I love both of you Megan. You and Millie. How could I not?” Megan shakes her head.

"No. We don't have to talk about that now. I don't want to ruin what we've just done. And I hate to not being able to hold back. I ... I'm just glad that you feel the same." She looks at you and there is only love in her eyes. "I won't **** you to choose. I will not be the one that separates the three of us.” She puts her forehead against yours and your noses rub against each other. You both close your eyes and just enjoy your closeness for a few seconds. "I know what it's like to look at someone and think they don't feel anything. I don't want to do this to Millie. And neither to you. I want to be with you Finn. More than anything else. I love you and I want you to be happy."

"Shit Megan," you breath and smile. "That's my line."

"You say that because you love us, so I can say that now," she grins and giggles. For her, too, it must feel fantastic not to have to lie anymore.

Megan nibbles her lips and you feel her **** to say the next. "I want you Finn. I really want you. But I don't want to break anything..." You hold her tightly against you. Megan has pulled her legs up to her body and is now almost lieing in your arms.

"I will find a way to make you happy. I promise to you. Look at me.” Megan raises her head. "And if it's the last thing I do and if it kills me. I will make you happy."

"I know," she says, and it's like your last conversation. Again you stay like this for some time and again you caress Megan. This time, she slide her hands over your stomach too. Slowly you perceive the world around you again and somehow everything is much brighter, warmer and more beautiful now that you have finally said everything. You realize that you too had to suffer from secrecy.

It feels like a huge load has been lifted from your shoulders. But you willingly replace it with another one. Taking care of the happiness of the two most important people in your life without thinking about you, and yet maintaining the balance between the happiness of the two. You look down at the body in your arms. If she loves me and I love her... and if Millie likes me... and I love her... What do I do now? It is clear that you have to find a balance. You don't care if you get crushed under the burden of finding a solution to an impossible situation. As long as there is a chance to make Megan and Millie happy, you have to try. You went one step further with Millie. And you know you will tell Megan about it someday. Simply because you can tell her everything and don't want that to be the first secret between you. And because you now know that Megan will agree.

"Megan?"

"Hmm?"

"You know tomorrow is the birthday of Millie." You take a breath. "And given the events, I hope you understand that I can't go as far as you want." She nods and snuggles closer to you.

"To be with you like this is more than I had hoped for after all these years," she murmurs and nestles her face in your chest.

"That's why I love you so much," you say. "Well... because of so many other things too..." She giggles, but leaves her face on your chest. You wait a few seconds and think carefully about your words. Oh fuck it! Attack! "But I want you too." Now Megan raises her head and looks at you in surprise and question. You grin "Maybe... Maybe we can... do other things?" Her eyes widen like saucers and her mouth opens slightly.

• Before you find out what other things you can do with your wombat, do me a favor here and like the chapter. Thanks. :)