A bloke

You stop and blink your eyes in confusion. You were expecting a beautiful, vivacious sexpot. Instead, you see the exact opposite: a dude.

You step in and he his attention. “Can I help you?” you ask.

He gives you a tired, frustrated wave and smile. “Hey. I’m Joey. I guess I’m your new suitemate.”

“There must be some mistake,” you say. “This room is supposed to be for —“ You stop yourself, realizing that you aren’t supposed to know that it is Sarah who is supposed to be moving in.

“Sure as fuck there is some mistake,” says Joey, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. “This is the third move I’ve made today! I think they have their heads in their asses over at the Housing Office. They moved me from my first room because there was some kind of problem with the drains or something. I thought I lucked out because I was the only guy on a floor of girls! Evidently someone thought ‘Joey’ was a girl’s name. I got all settled in my new room and just finished unpacking, when Campus Security showed up and told me there had been a complaint and they had to move me again.”

“That really sucks,” you say, and you couldn’t be more sincere.

“Tell me about it. I guess they’re fucking up everywhere because the girl who moved in to take my place was having the same kind of issues. Her dad was screaming at the security officer about how he had the Dean’s personal assurance that his ‘precious little Sarah’ would not be exposed to ‘corruptive male contact.’ Like putting her in that room would make a difference! I didn’t even talk to her and I could tell she was a slut from the way she was looking at me. Man, why couldn’t I have had her for a suitemate?”

Your heart sinks at this news, and you leave Joey to finish unpacking.