*Keep it vanilla.*

You decide to just play the game as it was made, as it was intended. You select Skyrim, scroll past the expansions, minimise the Mods folder (who makes people scroll through all the content to play?) and click Play.

The screen goes black, and you wonder if this was some elaborate trojan horse before you're sucked forward, through the screen...

You're in a cart, hands tied together with rope, bumping along the road toward Helgen. Your fellow passengers chat back and forth, talking of family and friends, and the awaiting ****. You ignore it, instead trying to control the mix of elation and fear you're feeling.

You're in Skyrim, and a world of adventure lays before you. But on the other hand, you don't think this adventure has a "load game" function if you die...

The cart rolls through Helgen's streets, clattering over the cobbles. People lead their children indoors as the cart halts and the soldiers bring you down into the central square.

Just as in the game, the thief turns and make a run for it, and the soldiers fire, the thief sprawling across the cobbles with arrows protruding from his back. The priestess gives her rites, the Stormcloak argues with her over Talor before stepping forward, meets his end on the block, and then you're shuffled forward.

"Wait, you're not on the list. Who are you?" Hadvar asks. You're asking the same question, as there doesn't seem to be any character creation menu popping up...