Waiting For Dawn

Dawn woke to a bedroom warming to the morning rays of a new day.

It already felt like a fresh start. For the first time in weeks Dawn felt like getting out of bed. Gone where the shadows. She no longer felt crushed under her worries. Life felt bearable.

Priadel had finally come to the rescue.

Dawn climbed out of bed and pulled back the bedroom curtains. Feeling the warm summer sun wash over her winter skin gave Dawn a welcome shiver. Daylight cleansed her mind and feed her soul.

Today was going to be a good day.

Gazing out on the view Dawn had loved all her life, the green rolling hills of North Wales, and the mountains beyond, made her want to finally leave the confines of her depression.

Heartache and regret no longer held sway. Dawn felt free.

Opening the window, Dawn felt like she wanted to live again. No more mistakes. No more bad choices. Only a positive mindset.

It had been four weeks since Dawn had left the house. She hadn’t looked at her emails nor switched on her smartphone. Despite the threats of being kicked off the university course Dawn had still missed her deadlines and extensions. An exemption letter from her doctor allowed her to reapply in September. Yet having already dropped out twice she didn’t want to face the final year a third time.

Dawn wanted to forge a new path.

Life felt mess. A spaghetti of problems which needed to be unknotted. Dawn's debt had spiralled, savings long gone, she had no job and no future. Well, not one to look forward to.

Dawn had dumped Dan, the one good man in her life, because she believed the lies and promises of a womanizer.

Yet this morning Dawn woke with new energy. A determination. She didn't want her mistakes to define the woman she was. This didn’t have to be the end. But Dawn knew it did have to be the beginning of a new chapter. But to do so, Dawn knew she had to stay positive and only think about herself. Cut out the outside noise. No social media. No . No men. Only people who cared and respected her. Only Dan. If he could ever forgive her...

Dawn would welcome Dan with open arms. But first, Dawn had to learn to love herself again.

Booting up her smartphone but not connecting it to the WIFI or Data, Dawn knew only those who loved her would have gone to the lengths of send a text or leave a voicemail.

Dawn prayed for something from Dan. They had just been friends. But Dawn always knew he loved her. But now he was gone, Dawn realised she also loved him. Typical. She felt a cliché.

But once Dawn’s phone fully booted there was nothing from Dan.

However, her crazy Spanish friend Christina B had left two voicemails and several messages.

“I wonder what Chris wants?” Her phone suddenly started ringing. It was Christina. Dawn panicked, dropping the phone on the bed. But taking a deep breath Dawn picked it up and answered. “Hola, Chris?”

“Finally, you picked up. I was in Liverpool to collect my degree. Wanted to hang over the weekend but you never answered.”

“Sorry. I have been... I’ve been feeling a bit shit recently.”

Christina sounded concerned for her friend. Spoke softly. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s OK. I’m fine now. Where are you? Sounds busy.”

“Sitting in an airport cafe, eating a croissant. I just wanted to try you one last time.”

“Sorry, Chris. It would have been good to spend some time with you. You party like an animal.” Dawn heard Christina laugh. “You would have been the ideal pickup.”

“Why are you down again? What triggered your depression?”

“I split up with Johnny a few weeks ago. It hit me hard, you know? I’ve been a bit of a mess.”

Christina snapped. “Fuck men. Who needs them?” And explained. “You need to learn to use them like I do. Use them for money. Good money.”

“Are you...” Dawn checked her bedroom door was firmly closed. Then whispered into the phone. “... still working as an escort?”

“Si. Yes.”

“How is it going? Still enjoying it?”

“Work is work. But I now only see four regulars who all call me their girlfriend. I no longer take new business. I don’t need to.”

Dawn giggled, “I don’t know how you manage it.”

“As long as I lube up, quite easily, really.’

“You make me laugh. So, what’s your typical shift? What do you do?”

“Typically... Well, I spend about half a day with them. 8 hours. But I usually only fuck them for thirty minutes or so. The rest of the time they take me shopping for jewellery or out to fancy restaurants. Sometimes even on a weekend away.”

Dawn felt like Christina was trying to make light of her dark job. “Wow. Well... why don’t you tell me about the men? What are you so-called boyfriends like?”

“One is a politician who talks endlessly through sex. Does his best to be romantic, he’s quirky more than anyhting. Another is an artist who likes to use his tongue. He is an expert lover. Always makes me climax – I have to fake nothing with him. One plays for Real Madrid who is hung like a horse and is very handsome, but deadly boring. Yet his gifts are the best. Most expensive.”

Dawn felt it all sounded too good to be true. “So, you’re trying to tell me you’ve never had a bad experience?”

“Well, my fourth boyfriend is a judge who is a pervert, but he pays ridiculously well. You could say, crazy money for crazy things. I don’t always like what he asks me to do. I just have to pretend. But I can always say no or stop if it hurts or something.”

“Do you ever say no?”

“Erm... He once asked me to take a shit on him.”

Dawn froze. Only dead air was on the line “Gosh that’s awful.”

“I tried too. Felt like I squatted for a lifetime. But it just wouldn’t come out. I just passed wind. But he enjoyed that too.”

Dawn laughed. “What other kind of crazy things?”

“Group sex with other girls. Sometimes his friends while he watches and wanks himself silly.”

“Weirdo.”

“Totally. But thanks for Manuel and the boys I now have a Madrid apartment and a house in Granada. And now I’m looking to invest again – all for working a three day week. As long as you stay smart and treat it as a business, you can thrive.”

“It sounds like you’re set for life.”

“I am, just waiting for a marriage proposal now.”

Dawn suddenly felt perked by Christine’s admission to want to settle. ‘From who?”

“Whoever. Just as long as they’re rich’ I don’t mind. “

“Shameless. “

“Shameless, yes. But shameless and rich. I’m telling you. You should try it. I remember our clubbing days. You have a real magnetism, a spell over men. A power few have, sister. I’ve made it a success with only half the looks you have. Imagine what you can do if you put them to use?”

Dawn felt her cheeks warm. “Oh. I don’t know.”

“You just need stay in control. Be confident. Be fearless. Never let a man hurt you again. Take the plunge and you’ll never regret it. I never have.”

“Erm...” Dawn heard the PA system ring down the phone.

“Ohm that was the final call for my flight. Adios Preciosa. Keep in touch. Drop me a line if you want more advice.”

~

Still unconvinced by the prospect of escorting, over the next couple of weeks Dawn checked for regular jobs online but without success. She also visited the job centre but again didn’t find what she was looking for. The only jobs she found were in and around the minimum wage so wouldn’t clear her debt, wouldn't change her life.

She was stuck in a rut. A deep one, that just kept getting deeper.

In the end Dawn felt she had .

The following Sunday Dawn fasted. Spending the day in prayer at her local chapel. The cold granite burned her knees as she fell into hands of the lord.

Asking for a sign. Praying for direction.

Dawn’s smartphone began to vibrate. Was God calling her direct? Surely not. Still, Dawn took it as sign and lifted the phone out of her handbag. It was Christine.

Dawn rushed out the chapel and answered. “Hey, Chris.”

“Hola. I suddenly had an urge to drop in, and ask how you are?”

“Wow.”

“What?”

“I was praying for direction. And you called.”

Christine chuckled down the phone. “There. That’s all the direction you need. I’m your guardian angel.”

“The devil on my shoulder more like. But I guess it’s time to take the plunge.”

“Great.”

“But I still don’t see selling myself as a career, Chris. This is a temporary measure. An emergency one. To give me the savings so I can rebuild my life. “

“Exactly. It takes money to earn real money. As long as you use the money you earn properly. You’ll be fine. It will be the quick fix you’ve been waiting for.”

“I hope so.”

“I will set up your profile then send you’re the logins so you can personalise it.”

That night Dawn received the logins for her profile on Adultwork.

There was a seductive profile picture of Dawn, taken by Christina a year before. In it she is posing in a short cocktail dress. Chosen as the top half of her face was hidden behind an ornate masquerade mask, protecting her identity. For clients to see her face and more, they would have to pay to access a private gallery – which Dawn still had to make.

This gallery wasn’t a pro shoot as Dawn didn’t have the money. She instead had to pose in front of her laptop's HD camera in various stages of undress. Her heart raced as she posed for the laptop camera set on a timer. She then spent all evening airbrushing and editing her perceived flaws.

There was also a menu of services Dawn had edited to exclude anal. She had only ever had a fingertip in her anus. And that was enough.

Of course, if someone paid silly money... she would consider it. But not for now.

Dawn could be booked for a minimum of two hours for two hundred pounds. Without protection the rate doubled. But the Girlfriend experience of eight hours would cost the punter a thousand. Again, without protection the rate doubled. Dawn felt highly sceptical of her rates, but Christine told her to give it twenty fours before reducing.

Yet her profile was live for less than an hour when her smartphone began vibrating, pinging and calling.

Dawn was inundated with requests and comments. Many were complimentary, plenty of dirty chat up lines. A few were cruel, though, criticising her petite tits.

When it came to choosing her first client Dawn felt spoilt for choice.

~

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