The Tower of Total Defeat

The Tower of the Red-Eyed Princess is not marked on any map. Its whereabouts are unknown... down to the planet... down to the very universe, and the very dimension. Such a map would be unnecessary. When challengers seek the tower... or, when the tower calls for challengers... the two will find each other.

The tower is told of in hushed whispers... It is said that inside sleeps a red-eyed demon princess, the heir to a vast army and untold riches assembled by an unstoppable demon lord capable of bending reality itself. Why would no one mark the location of such a fantastic treasure trove? That is because those who return from the tower are rarely eager to speak of their experiences. In some cases, they are unable. Any who approach the tower, be it a proud warrior or venerable leader, strong or wise, heroic or villainous, reckless and foolhardy or careful and cunning... all challengers face imminent failure, and no one is truly prepared to stave off the trials within. For this reason, it is also known as the Tower of Total Defeat.

Surrounded by an infinitely deep ocean, the tower is erected on the only island that can be seen for miles. The nature and construction of the tower is constantly shifting... not just the tower, but the nature of the very island and the ocean that surrounds it. Most commonly, it appears as a fusion of arcane magic and unfathomable technology, a dark spire coursing with magic energy with too many floors to count, jutting impossibly from an otherwise deserted forested island in a clear blue sea.

The demon butler, Jervale, surveyed the state of the tower from his location deep in the earth. To do so was his curse: long ago, he was granted sight over the entire tower by the demon lord, who assigned Jervale as his daughter's protector. Things had been so different back then, and the butler had no idea how many years it had been since that time. In the days when the demon lord departed, every day felt like a battle for survival: the tower was always attracting scrappy new challengers, and the demon princess had been too young to try and defend herself.

Even at that time, however, he had quickly learned there was no real danger. The enormous, luminescent Reality Crystal he shared a chamber with had seen to that. When he had first harnessed its power, it had been... intoxicating. Invigorating. A feeling very much like... first discovering porn, he admitted to himself. With the Reality Crystal on his side, no challenger was a match for him. Most of them weren't even challengers, by the time he was done. Some of them weren't even human. He had envisioned a future where he ruled the island as its lord by proxy, perhaps gathering a harem of unfortunate visitors...

That had been a long, long time ago. As his use of the Reality Crystal leaned further and further into debauchery and the challengers grew more and more prestigious and powerful, years passed. That trend only continued. Each year blended into the next. He had stopped recording dates.

As it was now, he could hardly remember the thrill of his virgin transformation. With his long, dark hair falling all around him, the demon sat cross-legged, alone in his dark chamber, lit only by the pulsing crystal looming enormous behind him (which, really, was plenty enough light). His eyes were closed to allow him to open his mind and see the tower clearly, embodying a sweeping, panoramic view. He would focus on the levels and sweep for anything out of the ordinary... and, frowning, he would spot the other inhabitants of the tower, going about their day-to-day ineptitude.

The others. The vassals. He thought to himself that was where he had truly gone wrong.

As the number of challengers grew, Jervale had recognized a need for more hands. He could see everything that happened in the tower, but even with the power to bend his challengers to his desired reality, he only knew how to be so many places at once. Frankly, defending the princess himself day in and day out had gotten exhausting quickly. So... Jervale had used the power of the crystal to transform some of the challengers into loyal vassals for the princess with their own reality-bending curses, at the will of the Crystal.

Jervale hated them all. By this point, he hated nearly everyone he knew. Familiarity, it turned out, bred contempt, and he truly felt everyone else in this tower was an inept moron. As such, every day, he prayed for the day he would receive a challenger and bring about a transformation that would reignite his own spark...

"I'm the only one doing any work," he thought to himself. "Of course, when your only task is to play around all day as you wait for the next challenger, you'll be in a position to snatch them away when they arrive. Damn vassals... It's been far too long since I had a satisfying encounter..." Jervale was probably sweeping under the rug exactly how often he got lazy and simply couldn't be bothered to meet the challengers he did see.

Among his many duties, Jervale was required to keep the records of the vassals and challengers that arrived. He had long since stopped seeing meaning in this task. If the demon lord ever did return some day, would he really care about the five-hundred and fifteenth brave knight who had been stripped of their honor, and how exactly that had happened? Still... Jervale was the only demon in this tower who had actually seen the demon lord, and that was enough to scare him into keeping his duties.

The princess probably didn't even remember her father. She had been so young when she was left under Jervale's care. "Abandoned," the butler thought to himself. Just as he was thinking of her...

"Yooo, Jervale!" The princess bounded down the stairs with an energetic greeting, making an echo rebound throughout the chamber. "Good morning! Whatcha up to?"

"Good morning, Princess. The usual," Jervale spoke to her. "It requires tremendous concentration. Breakfast will be prepared for you, so please, return-"

"I'm tired of the usual!" the princess complained, sitting in front of Jervale in the dark. There was no seat there, but the rough-mannered royalty seemed comfortable simply sitting on the stones. "You always say the 'usual.' Today's the day you're finally gonna tell me what you're up to down here."

"No."

"No?! C'mooon! I'm your princess, you have to! I command you, Jervale!" The princess rose to her feet, her eyes flashing with the purple light of the crystal as she summoned her most regal posture.

"No. Are you after a spanking, young lady?" Jervale glanced up at her with his eyelids barely cracked.

"Eh...? N-no. I'm eighteen in human years! I don't get spankings any more," she complained, pouting.

Something about that made Jervale laugh, but he quickly stifled it.

"See? I knew I could put you in a good mood. I'm like your only friend, Jervale!" The young woman rose to her feet and wandered the room kicking her feet, noticing the many mysterious, rolled scrolls of recorded challengers the butler had assembled. "You really aren't gonna tell me what you're up to down here?'

"... I fear we will likely have a challenger soon. You should eat breakfast while you still can." Jervale had no idea if there actually would be a challenger any time soon, but, naturally, there was no way for the princess to know that.

"All right... Don't stay down here all day, okay? You look like a vampire, my dude!"

"Of course. Noted."

The butler spoke with his eyes shut once again, seeing the tower in his mind's eye once more. Had a new challenger arrived, another unfortunate soul whose original tale he was duty-bound to record? Or would he be stuck reviewing the rogue's gallery he shared the tower with?