Ted Flash and the Island of Lost Dinosaurs

So yeah, there were these Nazis going about because it was WWII.

Ted was an American archivist who recovered ancient artefacts because they belonged in a museum. So, and his pal Alfie were at a Peruvian temple in Peru. They were gonna get this get Golden Idol thing.

"Hey, I got the idol thing" Ted said.

"I'm gonna double cross" Alfie said, pointing a crossbow at Ted.

"You bastard" Ted said, throwing the idol at Alfie at Alfie's head.

"Ow, you dick!" Alfie said, falling into a chasm and getting impaled on some spike thing.

So Ted like jumped across and got chased by a boulder and shit. But he used his whip to swing across the chasm to safety while the boulder landed on top of Alfie who was still alive.

"Ow, it broke every bone in the body!" Alfie said before he died all painful like.

"Fuck you, Alfie. You suck": Ted said.

And ted got on his way and flew back to America. He was at his university teaching some stuff and banging his students.

"Hey, ted, Nazis have located a dinosaur island" this government official guy said.

"What fucking dinosaurs? Sweet"

"We believe there is a magic item on the island that will give Hitler an army of dinosaurs like none the world has ever seen"

"Oh fuck"

"Also the island has cave girls in fur bikinis"

"This isn't gonna be like last time when they turned to be some ugly apes women?"

"I'm gonna go take one of my students with me so we can have sex"

"Yeah, okay. You do that"

So Ted grabbed 18 year old Christine Ravenwood. She was this raven haired chick with big boobs.

So Ted got in this plane and was parachuted to the Island of Lost Dinosaurs with her.